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-   -   Mixed feeling after breakup (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=417498)

  • Nov 19, 2009, 10:29 AM
    kadijah79
    Mixed feeling after breakup
    It 's been 8 months since I broke up from a 7 years living together relationship. I was the one asking him to leave and he left. The first few months after the breakup I was doing just fine, I tried to move on with my life well so I thought I haven't heard about him we haven't talk since the breakup. But he do call my best friend from time to time and ask about me. Recently I received a call from his brother encouraging me to call him and try to work out thing as according to the brother he think they is still hope as he is talking about me and reminiscing about us. However I did not act on it I was thinking what is the best approach to take as I realized that I would like to get a chance to try and rebuild the relationship. But unfortunately the same brother called and told me that he heard that my ex in now dating don't know how much truth is that how if they are saying that to make me act fast. I went through some emotional pain and realized that I still love him and want him back what will be the wiser thing to do ?
  • Nov 19, 2009, 10:53 AM
    Devorameira
    A lot depends on why you broke up originally. If he was a cheat or was abusive - my answer would be to stay away from him. If you just got a little bored with each other, then you might consider contacting him. Think hard about why you broke up to start with, then if you really really want him back go for it before he falls for someone else.
  • Nov 25, 2009, 12:16 PM
    kadijah79
    The reason of the break up was more a financial thing than anything else
  • Nov 25, 2009, 02:06 PM
    talaniman

    So what has changed with the finances that gives you hope that this will work out?

    You kicked him to the curb and now its up to you to contact him and see if you can work this out. I wouldn't put a lot of hope in what his friends and relatives say though because they may not know the whole truth, and he is undoubtedly using them as a go between to get to you.

    Its up to you to find out though if he has financially changed and if that solves the problem.

    8 months is a long time to be apart, but is it worth it? Have you both learned something (like how to resolve your issues by working together through honest communications), or is it going to be the same thing all over again?

    Its up to you.
  • Nov 25, 2009, 03:25 PM
    kadijah79
    You see I don't know to tell you the truth he meant a lot to me I would really like to have him back, I missed what we used to have and I also missed my best friend we used to be friend before we started the relationship and I had hope even if one day we break up we could still stay friend and now I cannot even call him he does not call me either, he lost one of his uncle de other day and I sent him an cordoleances msn but he did not answer to the message I don't know what to think I am wondering what have cause a once good man to become so heartless.
  • Nov 25, 2009, 03:36 PM
    talaniman

    Getting booted out of your life may have had a lot to do with it.
  • Nov 25, 2009, 03:43 PM
    kadijah79

    This is it when I kicked him out it was in the hope of him getting it. I had hope that he get how much he love me and come back to me so I could get what I wanted that is for us to get married. But instaed of getting it. I lost him
  • Nov 25, 2009, 04:08 PM
    talaniman

    Mature adults talk to each other, and work together to resolve their issues, especially if marriage is the goal. I think you give up that idea, given the circumstances, and you let it go for a number of months. Sorry, I don't see much here to build on.

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