Okay so Ive been trying this whole long distance relationship with this girl who I actually fell madly in love with I loved everything about her the way she talked to me the way she made me feel just everything so its been 2 years now and I thought we were the perfect couple. About a week ago she asked me to set up something for her on her msn so she gave me her pass and stuff so I did it and just out of the curiosity I had I went threw her email and there were no incoming ones but I went to her sent ones and what do you know there is a few of her sending pics to a guy and having a "talk" with him and the words come up "I found myself thinking about you last night" so I decided to look at the date and it was only 6 months ago I was pissed and I wanted to just go to her and ask straight up but I love this girl and I didn't want to risk it with her having an reasonable explanation and me looking like the for going threw her mail. Then just last night she says there's a big storm there and that she was scared so of course I play the caring guy and like that and then she goes I get an offline from her making the storm seem really bad at that she might be hurt well okay I'm slightly worried so I look it up on the Internet and what do you know mild storm no injuries no casualties and no destruction where is she. So I call her house and her mother answers as if she didn't know me by name and I had been told I was going there this Christmas holidays and I was going to be staying with her and her family but her mother doesn't even know my name umm okay now my mind is in overdrive not knowing what to say or do so frustrated I just need somebody to give me some advice or something I never let people into my life and the first person I do ends up lying to me how am I supposed to approach this I knew long distance was risky from the start but never thought this if you have any ideas what I should do or anything please let me know

Can I ask how old you are?
How often do the two of you meet up?
As for lying,once the trust is broken it's hard to mend it.
As for her mother it's odd that you've been together so long and she hasn't been told who you are.

I'm 19 going to be 20 shortly here
And we have only met a few times it's a little hard her living in australia and me in canada.
And yeah I was prety thrown by her moms reaction when I called it was the voice of like who are you and my girl had told me that she had talked to her mom about me coming and me in general a lot

I can only advice you to talk to your girlfriend about both Xmas and the other guy-and that means you'll have to admit to checking her messages-honesty is always,in my opinion,the best policy.
Good luck.

Yeah I know your right I'm just scared to what I'm going to find out if you know what I mean what if Ive given the past 2 years of my life to this girl for it all to have just been a game to her I don't know how well I will take that if that's the case and I'm going to feel so stupid for falling for it all but thanks for the advice I think I just needed to hear it

You're welcome-you can always come back and let us know how it goes.

Well she called me back last night and could hear that there was something wrong in my voice but I tried to play it off because I had, had a plan to ask her mom her advice on a surprise for her when I asked to talk to her mom she's like why I'm like oh I got a surprise for you I just need her help she's like tell me I'm like that would ruin the surprise can I please talk to her then she got all defensive saying that I couldn't talk to her and her voice changed from flirty to serious then she's like I got to go moms telling me to get off the phone so I was like well could I ask her my quick question then we can say our good nights and I love yous she's just like leave it alone please and then hung up so 2 min later I go I love you and then hung up so 2 min later I go I love you and then hung up so 2 min later I called back and was like well since I'm the one calling there's no reason you should have to go then I could hear her voice start to shake as she told me it was late there and that I could talk to her mom tomorrow on the computer so I was like okay ill leave it but tomorrow you need to explain everything she's said okay I was going to call back 20 min later knowing her mom or dad would answer but I decided to give her the chance to explain because I'm thinking id rather hear it from her, well I get online this morning and there's an offline MSG saying I'm sorry about last night mom is in a bad place and I don't know what set it off I'm gong mom away staying with grandma and grandpa dad took mom away so I'm not sure what to think or what's going on. I figure if I keep updating this as it goes I might be able to make more sense of it or have you help me make a little sense of it if you got any more ideas or just comments please let me know really need the help never put myself in this kind of situation before nor have I had any close friends be in it thanks.

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Originally Posted by Dimocc

im 19 going to be 20 shortly here
and we have only met a few times its a lil hard her living in australia and me in canada.

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Wow.

So, what's wrong with Canadian girls?

Being 10,000(at least) miles away from each is going to make this relationship very difficult to maintain.

You'll always wonder if she is being true to you.

Are there any plans for one of you to move in the future?

Yeah I agree nothing wrong with Canadian girls or anything she's just the one I fell for and yeah I was going to be moving there as a Christmas gift to her Ive never doubted her loyalty till this came up for 2 years I trusted her more than anyone in this world I just don't know where we stand now

You really need to ask her straight up what's going on. Red flag-you ask to speak to her mum and then she's gone away?
Sorry,there's something not right here and I suggest you find out sooner rather than later.

Dude I'm going threw the same thing you are, almost identical this is a trip, felt like I was reading something I wrote

Sorry guy, but you have been used to the max and now she is hiding a lot more from you.

The relationship you thought you had, doesn't exist, and I'm truly sorry for that. It does suck when the truth starts coming to light, and destroys the fantasy of what you thought you had.

Send her the email proof, and disappear from her life. That's all she deserves, as the truth isn't something you will ever get from her.

I really hate this position I honestly don't know if I can talk to her about it I think my mind almost would rather live with knowing the truth and just try to go on knowing it without confronting her at least that way I still have her I just really don't know what to do this is so hard for me it took half our relationship for me to let her in why would she waste all that time , just to destroy what was hiding within the walls? Haha sometimes just wish I could see what each actions outcome would be thanks for all the replies I really hope they keep coming this is helping me its just not as easy as just saying it unfortunately

For sure its hard to know what tomorrow will bring, but it helps when you have your own boundaries of good behavior are and accept no less from others.

Sometimes we have to go with the facts and do what's right for us no matter how hard it is.