Ask Me Help Desk - What should I do?

I have met a guy in an internet dating site, we been talking for 7 months now, and I can say that I fall deeply in love with him and so he is to me, We send so many mails and talk 2 times a day in msn to know what we feel for each other. We both think that we are right one for each other.Make so many promises and give so much hope to each other. He give me so much hope as well as my family that he is really in love with me, in fact he started the process of petitioning me through fiancée visa. Even we haven't meet in real we decided to start the process.But something's have changed after we meet in person. After a week spending time together suddenly he just disappear and not contacted me, no replies from any of my messages nor emails. He haven't go online too. Then I found out that he use other messenger and not even tell me about it. So I decided to make a new account and talk to him, and I found out that he still talking to other girl not knowing am that girl he talking to. I am really hurt by this because after I open my heart to him and give me so much hope in the end I will get hurt and take for granted. He told me that he don't want to hurt me nor he had intention to hurt but He told me that we need time to think about this and there are things about communicating and understanding that we need to overcome, My frustrations is I will look a fool in my friends and family for they all know that am getting married and it adds to the pain I feel as of the moment. I ask myself why now when my heart fully belonged to him? Why now when I was ready to be with him? Why now when I have fallen in love with him? Give me some advice to help me understand the situation...

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he started the process of petitioning me through fiancée visa. Even we haven't meet in real we decided to start the process.But something's have changed after we meet in person. After a week spending time together suddenly he just disappear and not contacted me

Well first thing I want to know is are you belong to any asian countries and second did he visit your country or what. What you feel during that one week meeting in person?

Yes I belong in asian countries Philippines and he visited me this month for a week, we both have a great time together, lots of fun we shares and he says he like me and love me , take lots of picture. Before he went visit me he told me that he will asked for my hand formally to my mom but did not happen and I supposed to sign the papers but did not , I asked him what now but told me he don't know and that we still chat and need time to think of this.

OK then he must be from some other asian poor country. Well lots of people in Philippines chats and tries to or find someone like you find but one thing I want to tell you truth is that in these sort of things nobody is serious from poor country,many few I mean very few cases comes where you find real feeling but all others are for just to go abroad from the poor countries and they use the chat for this. Talk to ladies in other countries and make them fall in love with him and then apply for visa so no really feeling or love involved, it just their own hidden things in their minds.
So I think he do the same way, make you fall in love with him and then you help him for visa but when he came to you, then his mind just changed, either he don't like you or don't find future in your country (second option is I think happen in your case) so he went back and didn't reply you and start talking to other girls for the purpose which he is working on...

Well from the start he let me know that he don't want to relocate that's why he petition me, and by the way he lives in California, usa. And he just ask me that we both need time and think about this, whether he is the best for me and I best for him. Then he wants to know my concerns about the relationship. I tell him all that he needs to know about how I feel regarding us and am still waiting for his reply .

To me it sounds like he changed his mind after meeting you in person.

Maybe you weren't everything he dreamed you'd be from your 7 months of chatting.

It happens. Often people that fall in love on the internet quickly fall out of love when they meet in person.

Emails aren't the same as face to face communication. A lot can be hidden and changed in a written note that cannot be disguised in person.

I suggest you try meeting someone that you can have a real relationship with and leave the internet for other things.

Good luck.

Oh then what were he or you said earlier was wrong

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We send so many mails and talk 2 times a day in msn to know what we feel for each other. We both think that we are right one for each other.Make so many promises and give so much hope to each other. He give me so much hope as well as my family that he is really in love with me,

He already do this on mails and msn then why he want to go for this process again? Then may be he didn't find any attraction in you when he meet you and didn't feel anything when he goes back. And now he want to do this process again to think about relationship. I am afraid his reply may not come as desire as you want.

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Originally Posted by Zaithe

oh then what were he or you said earlier was wrong

he already do this on mails and msn then why he wanna go for this process again? then may be he didnt find any attraction in you when he meet you and didnt feel anything when he goes back. and now he want to do this process again to think about relationship. i am afraid his reply may not come as desire as you want.

Maybe yes you are right well whatever his answer will be I just want to know so I can move on and mend with my broken heart

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maybe yes you are right well whatever his answer will be I just want to know so I can move on and mend with my broken heart

One advice just please don't wait too long and give yourself a new start because nobody have right to steal your happiness so stop thinking of broken heart, you have one life so enjoy every moment as much as you can and forget the bad things happen as early as possible. Just feel good because that person don't deserve you its not you don't deserver him so relax you has been saved by God from more sadness. Stay Blessed!