I have been with my girlfriend for over 4 years we have been madly in love with each other LONG DISTANCE! She is in college and we see each other every break we can. I know what you're thinking how the hell is there the possibility of a long distance relationship for 4 years. Its been hell but we made it work. The problem that steams is I have serious jealousy issues (I mean who wouldn't living a thousand miles away? ) but its wrong and I know it. I have been cheated on by every girl I have ever had and even her once. It wasn't that bad at all but it still swayed my trust. It was years ago and I forgave her but everyone and a while ill throw it in her face just so she knows. Messed up huh?. or is it?
Anyway when she goes out which is really only once or twice a week I get jealous I bother her and I make her feel guilty and crazy for doing it. She dealt with it for years and even broke up with me once before for it but gave me a second chance. Now she's had it. She wanted to break it off but finally she came to her senses and told me she does not want to loose me she's not ready to give up this relationship but she's also not ready to give in and give me another chance. SOOOO in comes the "break" she decided she wants to take a break. Meaning we don't call as much or talk as much and she doesn't feel guilty for going out and basically has more freedom. I can't see it happening successfully since wev talked everyday for 4 years, but who knows. But here's the kicker, she still wants to come visit me one more time! (we had made plans and have tickets and everything for a thanksgiving visit) she wants to have this visit and then after ward begin the break... WHAT?? She says she wants us to do it and see to ourselves "ok this is us, this is a good time" and then apparently begin the break, also she wants to talk about it in person... please tell me you all are confused by this too?
Personally I want what ever will get her back faster and I know she loves me very very much and if we have this trip she will either be cold and distant which would make it worthless or she will be so happy and lovey that shell forget about the whole break thing... maybe. I don't know.
So I told her ill think about it and let her know today if I can do the trip. Personally I don't know if I can. I absolutely want to see her and maybe secretly be the best ever so she forgets all this break nonsense but I don't know if it'll work or not. We have an amazing time together, how could we have that then practically break up after she gets on the plane?
Here are a few things you have to know, I really feel that there is a new man in her life (not being jealous) I think this new man is her friend and has a few common interest as her and is basically making her confused and causing her to think about maybe there is something better out there. When I found out about the new guy I had worries so that's what cased the break up talk to begin with, my flipping out about him and questioning the whole thing. Maybe because I was right...
She assures me that in this break she wants us both to take time and work on our problems (thats the whole point of it), me being my jealousy issues that are 100% uncontrollable at this moment and her with her issues of self esteem and jealousy her self. (yes she also has a large amount of issues) she assures me that she has no intention of dating or spending time with another man. I ask "does this break still require us to be faithful to one another" she replied "i dont feel obligated to but i really have no intensions of doing that what so ever" now I told her with out seeming to dens about the idea that I had a few questions about the terms and conditions of this "break" which I will talk to her about today. I just can't help but think. Does taking a break from an unbelievable love story (even though there where many bad times as with all relationships!) mean that her interest is in another man? Does the term break basically mean "i want to see if i like this new guy but i also want to keep you hanging on incase it doesn't work out, so i have the option"
She is a genuinely good hearted perfect women, I'm her first EVERYTHING and I don't see her as being this evil women that wants to put me on the back burner and fire it up with another man. But I can't help but wonder.
Another thing you should know is that she's nearing her last year in college (with her friends, she may have one more year), so I think she's going through changes and this is effecting everything. Also I think she is beginning to feel bad about not spending enough time home with her parents and spending it all with me in another state. She loves her family and misses home. We have planes to move together (she moves to me) and I think it all scares her. But when things are good she loves talking about the future... to an extent. She wants to be with me but just hopes and use to have faith that things would be perfect. I personally think they will be 100% wants this damn long distance is over but who knows what she's thinking in these confused times.
Thank god there is no limit to characters written on this site and I thank you for whoever will help and read all this.

Sincerely
Confused sam

All I can give you is my opinion based on personal experience. My fiancé was extremely jealous. In the beginning of our relationship it was kind of flattering and I will admit that I was a flirt but never cheated on him. As time went by and I fell in love with him I stopped the flirting and expected his jealousy to cease also. The jealousy was no longer flattering but had become tiresome to me. I began to feel smothered and was left gasping for air many times. It got so bad I felt the need to run and hide from him. I also felt myself falling out of love and began wondering what it would be like to start dating again, dating someone new. I had had it with him, his jealousy and his false allegations. Eventually I did break up with him. He could not hold to his promises to stop the bad behaviour. I did start seeing someone for a short time, nothing serious or intimate. But it was enough for my fiancé to see that I was done with him ( we were not engaged at the time ). Eventually we began to talk again and we decided to give it one more try under the condition that he not return to his habitual jealousy. I can say that he must love me because he has done really well to control his actions. He has had to learn confidence and self control and as our relationship has grown and so have we as a mature loving couple. The nasty accuasations and fights ceased a long time ago. We became engaged last Christmas and we are in a comfort zone now. He's happy, I'm happy and at this point we both forsee a long and happy life together. If you love her give her some space, if you cannot forgive her for her past indiscretion let her go. If you cannot forgive you cannot forget and that makes for a miserable relationship for you both and it will not work that way. Try to back up a little, forgive and forget, grasp hold of and learn to control the jealousy and she may actually learn to trust you again and find the person she fell in love with in the beginning. If you truly love someone no one else will ever tempt you because you will not be able to see any other. I hope at least one thing I have said may help you. I wish you the best of luck and the happiest of holidays.

Seems to me you give her what she ask for and let her work on her issues, and you work on yours. Since there is no timetable, nor deadline, you leave her alone and do your own thing and let her do hers.

Also, your single now, so leave her alone. There are no kinds of restrictions on what you do and who you do it with so make your own personal time table to heal, and accept your circumstances, and realize she has broken up with you in a very nice way. That's why you refrain from any contact, and for now, disappear into the sunset.

Fair warning if she calls to see how your doing, don't fall into the small talk trap. Ask her if her feelings about the break have changed, and if they haven't, then you better prepared to cut the conversation short, and consider it over permanently.

Matter of fact, that's exactly how you should see this break, as the end of a relationship, and look to getting your own life together, and not be a part of hers.