I have been with my guy for 5 months now. Though I know him for more than a year. I just recently told him I was falling in love with him. And ever since than he's been more affectionate. But also jealous. I think Jason mraz is very talented and every time I listen to him I say how amazing he is and he gets mad. And also he gets mad when I tell my GAY friend I love him. And he says its because I say I love my friend and not him I'm just waiting for the right moment you know. And also he Facebook and myspace have him worried he thinks guys flirt with me and gets jealous. I asked him what's going on and he said he's been more into me everyday and that I am on his mind way too much and it's scaring him. I also told him joking around while we were in our underwear that I'm not in love with him I'm in love with his penis and after that he didn't say one word to me. Why is he acting so odd? And jealous ? What is going on with my boo? Please guys I need your help.

Well sometimes but not always people reach a point in a relationship where they get scared. They get overprotective, jealous, just stuck in a rut. I get that way sometimes. Maybe you are on his mind all the time and he is so worried that he is going to lose you or something might not work out between you. He will pass through this stage and things will get better. All the other things should get better too once he gets past it. He shouldn't be as jealous of a singer or your gay friend. Sometimes Facebook and myspace is a bad idea. It can cause a lot of trouble. Just don't get yourself into trouble.

Could I ask how old you two are, please?

I tell him all the time that I want him and nobody else and I reassure him its just that he's never been this jealous before. And I'm turning 20 and he's turning 22.

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Originally Posted by loovee609

i tell him all the time that i want him and nobody else and i reassure him its just that he's never been this jealous before. and im turning 20 and he's turning 22.

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I am sure it will all change. Just keep doing what you are doing and reassure him. Make sure he knows you will always be there for him.

Assuming that you're not doing anything extra to provoke him. It sounds like he's getting very controlling. I suspect that he already had a controlling behavior before you even met him. His true colors are only showing now.

You better put your foot down and let him know that you really do love him, but you don't appreciate his controlling behavior.

If he really was in love with you, he would just want you to be happy.

He's also got some insecurity issues that he needs to work on.

If you know someone is sensitive about a subject ,its not cool to make jokes about it as in "I'm in love with your penis".

It almost sounds like you are trying to get his goat.

If you are trying to make him jealous,you need to stop.Game playing is for teenagers and even then its foolish.

To be in an adult relationship means behaving as an adult.

Jealousy is not an expression of love but one of insecurity and a feeling of ownership.Do not confuse the two.

Be honest and avoid making him feel insecure.If you feel his jealousy is out of line,you should rethink the relationship.

Jealous people make for very poor mates and bring a controlling aspect to the relationship that is never healthy.

He hasn't told me he loved me well one time he did but he was so drunk and he polish so it doesn't count. Because he's dad kind of pushed him. But when he was sober he told me he didn't mean it all the way but that he sometimes does think he's falling in love, but that was like a month ago, and now I just recently told him how I feel but he didn't say anything so I'm thinking he's falling for me. I'm not sure he can be confusing at times.

lol OK first of all how was I supposed to know that was going to get him mad? I was joking even though I do loooovvvveeee ittt. =] and he knows it. I was just making a joke because at that time he was flashing me and god I can never say no to him and his you know what. It's quite amazing =D zero complaints there.

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Originally Posted by loovee609

he hasn't told me he loved me well one time he did but he was so drunk and he polish so it doesn't count. because he's dad kind of pushed him. but when he was sober he told me he didn't mean it all the way but that he sometimes does think he's falling in love, but that was like a month ago, and now i just recently told him how i feel but he didn't say anything so I'm thinking he's falling for me. i'm not sure he can be confusing at times.

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Don't you think you need to find out if you two love each other? You need to tell him you love him if you really do and see what he says. You don't want to dance around with the word or play with it. It is a powerful word and can bring a lot of joy and a lot of hurt if not true. Do you love him?

I do love him I'm just waiting for the right and cute moment there's no need to rush but I just felt like I had to tell him at least how I felt I couldn't keep it inside and I told him I was falling in love with him, but all he did was kiss me and hug me. But I don't feel bad he didn't say anything back. I respect his feelings.

You have no idea what pisses him off because he's insecure about the relationship and gets angry at random times?

He's controlling and possessive when it comes to you talking to/about other guys

But after all that, he still didn't tell you that he loves you?

Now I'm wondering why he's still in this relationship. What does he get out of it? It feels like he's waiting for you to block every single guy in the world out of your life before he's ready to tell you that he loves you.

Why does it feel like there are red flags flying around him?

But on the other hand, just give him more time, hopefully he will come around. You're going to need some patience with him.

Why does he feel like that? OK well almost 3 yrs ago he fell in love with this . They worked together and it seems to me like she was very shy because she didn't want nobody to know they were dating, now I currently work at the same job she used to work at 3 yrs ago and my boyfriend has been there for 6 yrs and from what I hear from people that remember her and still work there she was a slut! Constantly flirting and around guys, turning him into a jealous monster. She also didn't feel comfortable showing affection towards him in public and he also told me that she constantly depressed and she blamed everything on him. After a yr and half of them being on and off she broke everything up. And lost touch with her friends who were his friends including her best friend which was her sister. He tells me he don't know why she just got up and left and acted like he never existed. My opinion was crazy.I have also been told that she was the quiet sneaky type. He told me she was extremely insecure and depressed and he got hurt because he wanted to be with her. But now I hear she's been with this guy for 3 yrs so I'm assuming she never cared about him in the first place. I don't know that maybe why he's acting so jealous and feeling like every guy is going to snatch me away. Especially now when LOVE is coming in to the picture? I guess

Sorry her best friend was his sister and now his whole fam hates her, well of course for hurting him that way

So you think he is taking his past relationship into yours? How long were they broke up before you two got together? Maybe he didn't completely get over her if he shared all the information with you about it. Not always true but most people don't like talking about exes in a new relationship. What would it hurt if you found a good moment here today or tomorrown to say you love him? You need to know what he feels and what is going on?

I have been the jealous and insecure guy that your boyfriend is. It sucks and luckily I, at the time, had the most amazing and understanding girlfriend there to help me through it. I also did things myself to not only get over my problem, but control it when such things did arise.

Some guys, like girls, get hurt, really bad and it stays with them for awhile. We are afraid to be hurt, especially heartbroken, and that kind of stuff takes work and dedication to progress into something positive. In the end it involves getting your sense of self and your own self confidence to a level that doesn't reflect negativity and the constant need to profess or project your fears into something that comes out as controlling and psychotic in nature.

like I said its been 3 yrs ago. Since they were together and he didn't talk about it on his own I was being very nosy and asking a whole bunch of questions and I'm scare to say it because I'm scared he's not there yet. I don't know he says he's into me more and more and I'm on his mind like crazy but that doesn't mean he loves me. And I rather wait, I was planning on telling him the 26 of December which is when we make 6 months. We're going to be in PA and I planned to tell him outside he's parents huge backyard under the stars by the bon fire. =]

You also need to quit acting like this is a fairytale scenario. If you love him, tell him that, don't wait for some magical moment. Love is the magic, and it creates the moment, it isn't the other way around.

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Originally Posted by kctiger

I have been the jealous and insecure guy that your boyfriend is. It sucks and luckily I, at the time, had the most amazing and understanding girlfriend there to help me through it. I also did things myself to not only get over my problem, but control it when such things did arise.

Some guys, like girls, get hurt, really bad and it stays with them for awhile. We are afraid to be hurt, especially heartbroken, and that kind of stuff takes work and dedication to progress into something positive. In the end it involves getting your sense of self and your own self confidence to a level that doesn't reflect negativity and the constant need to profess or project your fears into something that comes out as controlling and psychotic in nature.

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Hey, I noticed what you wrote and I just wanted to know what are different ways I can help him get over this jealous insecure thing? I really do love this guy

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Originally Posted by loovee609

hey, i noticed what you wrote and i just wanted to know what are different ways i can help him get over this jealous insecure thing? i really do love this guy

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On your part you just have to be cognizant of how he feels and what may trigger jealous emotions out of him. The majority of this needs to be done by him. He has to realize he has a problem and he needs to figure out a way to handle his problem in not such a demeaning and controlling way. This isn't just about you, it is about his future relationships with anyone. He has to learn how to turn his behavior from something negative into a positive channel. Counseling is also a good idea as well.