Ask Me Help Desk - My girlfriend wants a break

Hi everyone, this is my first time posting on this site and I am hoping to get some advice or maybe someone who has been in my situation before. Anything that might help this pain that I feel. Here is my story... My girlfriend and I have been going out for almost 9 months now. She is 7 yrs older than me, divorced with 2 sons. The first 7 1/2 months of our relationship we were so madly in love, she told me that she should have been with me all of her life and that I was the love of her life. We decided that I should move closer to her which I did. When I moved closer to her and things were good for a while, but then she put on the brakes because she was scared that we were getting really serious and she didn't want me to turn out to be like her ex. She also didn't want to become dependent on me like with her ex. She is in her mid 30s and just starting her career basically. So she told me she was feeling overwhelmed with everything trying to get her career on track, work until 6pm then come home to spend time with kids then have her alone time,her friends time, family time and also try to be with me. We eventually decided to take a break for the month of November. We laid out the ground rules like being faithful to each other, the break would be a month and we also agreed that I wouldn't call/text/email her but she could if she missed me like crazy. The only exception was that I could text her on her Birthday which was a couple days ago. I feel I messed it all up because when I texted her, I wished her Happy Birthday and told her I loved her but when I didn't get the I love you back, I started telling her how much I missed her and wanted to see her. It hurts a lot because I love her so much and wish that we would have what we once did. What hurts even more is the fact that I moved to this new place and don't know anyone (its a quiet town) so I have been really lonely. If anyone has any advice, I would really appreciate it. I am sorry for the long post. Thanks everyone.

Hi, I was kind of hoping for some advice since my friends have given me 50/50 on this situation. My girlfriend and I have been on a break for the month of November because she has been feeling overwhelmed with her career and the fact that she has 2 daughters and no time for herself. We have been going out for about a year now. I wanted to give her some space so she could figure out if she wanted to continue the relationship or if she just couldn't handle it right now. We had set some ground rules before going on break and they were: 1) we would be faithful to each other 2) it would be a month long break and 3) I promised I wouldn't call/text or email her but she could if she truly missed me. I wanted to give her as much space as I could because I love her very much. The only time I would be able to contact her is at the end of the month to set something up. I texted her on Friday saying that I hope she had a nice holiday and that I am looking forward to meeting her and to let me know when she wants to get together. She never responded so Friday night I texted her one more time basically stating the same thing because she told me sometimes she has problems receiving texts. It is now the last day of the month and I still haven't heard from her. I'm pretty much 95% sure that it is over because if she missed me she would have been knocking down the door to see me. But I love her so much it hurts and I still hold out hope until she tells me its over. My question is, do I just wait to see if she texts me or calls to set something up. I guess I am just worried if I take this approach, she will tell me that I didn't try hard enough to get ahold of her or that she texted me but I never received them, kind of playing games with me. The other option that I was thinking was to send ONE last text to her saying that I miss her and I haven't heard from her and I am starting to assume that she doesn't want to be with me anymore. I am confused on how I should proceed. I am sorry for the long question. It has not been an easy month for me.Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you for reading.

Sounds like she's letting you down easy, but keeping you around as her backup plan.

She's got a lot of baggage, but if she really cared about you, she wouldn't ask for a break and risk losing you to someone else.

I suggest you stop putting your life on hold for someone who doesn't want the same thing as you.

Quit being her safety net. Be someone else's priority.

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the break would be a month and we also agreed that I wouldn't call/text/email her but she could if she missed me like crazy. The only exception was that I could text her on her Birthday which was a couple days ago.

I'm sorry to say this, but this is the biggest BS I read recently. It wasn't "you" as in "we" deciding, it was her deciding that you couldn't call her or text her blah blah.. my advice knowing how these breaks are from own experience. Is that there are a break up and you treat it like such..

In my own opinion do as was asked don't text, call, or anything. This is the time to deal with your own things and focus on yourself. I strongly recommend you read the stickies on this forum. Best course of action is to strictly start the no contact process and get your head as well as emotions in the right frame of mind.

If you feel like texting calling or anything else this is the place to do so to let some venting happen. It helps.

I agree with I Wish. She has a lot on her plate, and a lot of background. If you truly love her, you would give her some time to herself to sort things out. It sounds like she is losing interest. It may be tough, but I would pick up the pieces and move on- it's what is best for you, and what is best for her as well. The last thing a single mother needs is relationship issues that arise between high-schoolers. You're both adults, so I suggest seeing reality as it really is, feelings aside, and moving on.

Man. Look at it this way. At least you won't have to deal with her baggage anymore! :D Plus she's doing you a favor by setting you free so you can find someone who has less problems anyway. I'm sure she will regret dumping you. I don't understand why she even dumped you. I mean if you were a supportive guy she must be a supid woman for wanting to break it off... Haha get a fresh woman instead of a used lemon. :D She decided to have her problems without you so be free.