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-   -   Ex contacted me! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=416751)

  • Nov 17, 2009, 07:08 AM
    dave2247
    Ex contacted me!
    I know the answer to this but just need the reassurance. My ex contacted me about being hopeless and sad in her life but still only wants to be friends. I am not over her yet and need to heal. I had to tell her not to contact me anymore and she almost got upset at me for this. (?? ) I need to know I did the right thing. It was so hard to tell her this but I felt I would be in a vicious cycle unless I did this, No Contact is the only way, right??
  • Nov 17, 2009, 07:12 AM
    minaeve25

    I think you did the right thing to protect yourself.
  • Nov 17, 2009, 07:18 AM
    kctiger

    Yes, you did the right thing. I am not sure if it is widely known or even believed, but I for one pretty much hold it to fact: we don't owe our ex anything, including friendship. All those privileges are thrown out of the window once you break up.

    It isn't personal, it is just the natural way of life. Well done!
  • Nov 17, 2009, 09:43 AM
    I wish
    No contact is not the only way out, but since you want to get out of the vicious cycle, no contact is a useful and highly effective method to help you heal from the break up.

    The reason you go into no contact is so that you don't build false hope and don't over-analyze all the details, which are all unhealthy behavior.
  • Nov 17, 2009, 11:51 AM
    itried

    The fact that you say that you need to heal hints that she dumped you.

    Never forget that she thought her life was worse with you in it.

    Tell her that you feel bad for her but there is nothing else that you can do for her. Besides, why should you be the shoulder to cry on while she waits for another guy's body to rub up on?

    You did the right thing. She's selfish and so too should you be.
  • Dec 1, 2009, 07:11 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    Yes, and if she tries to contract just don't, don't answer her calls, don't read her emails, just stop

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