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-   -   I can't leave my boyfriend (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=416644)

  • Nov 16, 2009, 08:16 PM
    cheer5637
    I can't leave my boyfriend
    Okay so...
    My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years but for almost two years, I have been cheating on him with the same guy. The guy who I have been cheating on him with I have liked even before I met my boyfriend. Honestly, I don't know why I do this. I never thought in a million years I'd be the one cheating. It's not that I don't love my boyfriend because I do but I keep finding myself having feelings for the other guy and I know that is not fair. If my boyfriend were doing this to me, I'd be devastated.. hypocritical right? I don't know why I think this way though! It's seriously killing me inside I just don't know what to do.

    Like I said I do love my boyfriend but honestly, I don't know why because he is controlling and the jealous type. I can't even go over to my BEST FRIENDS house without him getting mad and I feel like why do I even put up with it? I have to keep my phone on silent whenever I'm with him because I'm scared that someone may text me that he doesn't like and he'll get mad. He once said he thinks we should get out and do more to help our relationship but I'm the only one going out in this relationship. I don't like to bring him places or parties with me because once we get there he's so grouchy and doesn't talk to anyone, and this embarrasses me. Not only all that but I have to pay for everything and I have to do A lot A lot A lot for him. Yes he works, but he lives pay check to pay check.

    All of this is a lot, I know. I've tried talking to friends but I feel like I just can't explain everything. I love my boyfriend and I couldn't even imagine myself without him but what the hell is a 19 year old girl suppose to do? I would feel so bad if I left him, AGAIN.- yes we did break up for a couple months but it didn't last long. When I first broke up with him he was calling me, texting me, following me, almost all day everyday. He was seriously getting on my nerves but at the same time alls I could do was cry. I felt bad and that is how we got back together.

    Someone or many people... PLEASE help me. What is your opinion and what would you do if you were in my shoes?
  • Nov 16, 2009, 08:53 PM
    Gernald

    Break up with him. If you loved him like you say you do you wouldn't have cheated on him in the first place. And from that inference I would assume that you are not happy with him; so let him down easy, but tell him the truth, maybe he won't come wallowing back this time.
    Good luck with which ever decision you make!
  • Nov 16, 2009, 11:32 PM
    emopunk7
    He shouldn't be jealous but obviously he is jealous for a good reason. Also, maybe its not so much as being at your girlfriends house as much as its about whether he believes you are really there. You ruined this relationship allll over so don't blame it on him. Let him go and let him find better. God knows he deserves better than this. You are killing him slowly and you don't even know it. Leave NOW!!
  • Nov 17, 2009, 01:54 AM
    Gemini54
    You know what you have to do.

    You're cheating on him, no wonder he's insecure, controlling and demanding. Of course he may be all of those things anyway, so I'm not sure why you 'love' him and stay with him.

    I think you stay with him because you can do exactly as you are doing - which is have your cake and eat it too. You can complain about him, which justifies your 'bit' on the side.

    If it's killing you, and you have one iota of integrity left then break it off. Permanently.
  • Nov 17, 2009, 02:45 AM
    annette88

    Lm not proud to admit that lve been in your shoes with my ex-husband. Deep down l was afraid to step into a future without a partner but knew that l didn't love my partner anymore. Do the right thing and leave your boyfriend so he can find someone who truly loves him. L did!
  • Nov 17, 2009, 03:56 AM
    amicon
    Leave him and start working on getting your selfrespect back.
  • Nov 17, 2009, 04:17 AM
    jmjoseph
    You don't need to be in a relationship with anyone right now.

    Not until you decide on which one you want.

    You can't have it both ways.
  • Dec 1, 2009, 07:09 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    OK, boyfriend 2, knows you have boyfriend 1? And is OK with you sleeping with him and the other boyfriend??

    First boyfreind is not aware of boyfreind number two

    ** I do hope there is proper protection for both when having sex.

    You drop both of them, since both of them deserve better
  • Jan 16, 2011, 09:04 PM
    Bonnie0414
    Just leave him he's not worth all that I was in the same situation only I was with my ex for 5 1/2 years and cheeted on him with one of his supposed best friends not my proudest moments but I did what I did and he broke up with me and I still don't think he knows but you will be better off with out and a lot happier!
  • Jan 16, 2011, 09:14 PM
    mystific

    Quote:

    I love my boyfriend
    If you did.. you wouldn't be messing around on him with BF #2.

    Get rid of both of them and get yourself together before you commit yourself to another relationship.

    Next time.. choose more wisely.

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