I was married to my ex for 16yrs. We have two minor children. He passed In July 2009.
When we were at the funeral discussing things. We asked his sister and mother about the ashes, they said the girls, his children can have them. A few day's later we called to pick up ashes and the funeral director would not let us pick them up. His mother picked them up. We haven't seen them since. By law who get's them?
Thanks for your help.

Not really sure how to reply to who answered my question. I'll figure it out.
My daughters and I live In MN.

What State?

I am aware of a similar case in NY. Who paid for the cremation?

That's what the final factor in NY was. The person who paid got to keep the ashes.

Unless he left written instructions, in funeral arrangements or in the will, they will belong to the estate

You answer your own question, ( big large answer buttom) and add more to your post

I have merged your two posts

They normally would go to the mother if there is nothing else dictating anything different. From the mother would next come the children. That's why you most likely weren't allowed to " pick them up ". They must follow laws and in you taking possession of the ashes it usually takes a permit of some kind to do so.