My boyfriend says he wants a break
I'm 20 years old at university, my boyfriend is 19 at a different university about 1 hour, 20 minutes a way by train. Not far at all seeing as we were always an 1 hour away from each other when we lived at home.
My boyfriend was meant to be coming down to spend the weekend with me this weekend, something that I was increadibly excited about.
But this weekend when we were both at home visiting family, he out of the blue said that he needs a break the weekend he was planning to visit me and he would come and see me in a bit.
I got angry, he's been saying for weeks he'd come down, but he's been so busy with settling in and finding work e.t.c. that he didn't have time. I was okay with this because its our first term of our first year and we do need time to settle in.
I phoned him and asked why he wasn't coming down and he said he needed a break from our relationship until Christmas break (about 3 weeks apart) I said why? And he said he didn't want to talk about this on the phone, he promised he'd see me this Saturday (When he was meant to be coming down anyway) to explain how he's feeling. I said well I'm back at uni on Monday, I need to talk a bit now or I'm not going to be able to concentrate.
So he said okay that's fair, but he'd still see me in person and talk things through and that when we break up for Christmas we'll meet up and see how we feel again after the break?
I asked him outright "are you breaking up with me?" he said No he wasn't.
I asked lots of questions on the phone, some of the things he said back were:
We're not going to change our Facebook statuses, because it's only a break.
We've been together so long now that he doesn't want to make a rash decision.
He thinks this is what our replationship needs, otherwise its never going to work.
He says he can't do this any other way at the moment, he needs some time.
He says he's changed and that he doesn't think I'm happy with the new him. (the only thing I'm unhappy with, is him not wanting to come down and see me)
He said he still loves me, thinks about me every day, cares about me
He still wants to get christmas presents for each other.
He also said we can still text each other during the break.
He said this isn't a break where we get with other people, he won't cheat on me, and he knows I would never cheat on him.
So I'm really confused, I figured a break meant no communication, in the past we've had disagreements and he's said that we'll talk about it soon and he'll explain how he's feeling and he just never brought it up again. He went back to his normal self. I'm just A) worried that we'll have this break and it will all be fine at christmas and he won't talk about it, b) I'm worried that he is just breaking up with me nicely (although seeing as I asked him outright on the phone and he said no) c) I'm just so confused!! I'm going to have a horrible week until Saturday.
Please can I have advice about what to do, I don't want to lose him, I love him so much. He is having a tough time settling in, he has more issues than me with family, money and I've been travelling before so being away from home isn't a big deal. I think its scaring and daunting him.
I've already said to him that if he ever needs to talk that I'm there for him, I'm seeing him Saturday. So if people have suggestions about how to approach that, then I'd be most grateful. I've also never been on a break before so I'm not sure what to expect.
IJB