Ask Me Help Desk - Does she still like me?

This girl and I are in the university. She is 9 years younger than me. She is 20 years old and I am 29 years old. She sits right beside me. First days of class she used to have eye contact with me for long time and she really wanted to know me more. After a few weeks after we came out from the library she said she has to go for shopping and I offer her a ride and she accepted. After shopping I took her to a restaurant. I knew she just broke up with her BF but she did not know I knew that. She told me that she broke up with her BF. Then we started talk about relationships and stuff. After the dinner she told me "you remind me my EX" I was like! What the ****? We I took her to the dormitory of university (where she lives) on the way, she told me that she has cheated on her ex BF- and I asked her "you mean you had sex while you were with him? and she said "YES" and I told her "did he found out" she said"yes", "why did you do that?" she replies, "it depends. Everything is changing, people are changing, depends how much you love the person and blaablaablaa."
the the next week I made a plan to test her. I told her I know a girl in our class who I really like. I just need your cooperation. she said what? (with an amazed face). I said we go to a restaurant and she comes there with a friend. Then you talk to her about me and her that I like her and etc. she said immediately that "I don't believe in this kind of relationships" and I said just do it . she said OK. she tried to cancel it couple of times, but I think her curiosity didn't let her to do so. So, she came, we we to a restaurant we ordered food. then we were having conversation, but I could say she was not happy and she was feeling bad. oh by the way on the way I asked her to lie. she said ok first. then she was asking me why? I didn't tell her why just told her "are you going to lie for me or not?" and she said OK I will..
then in the restaurant she said where is the girl? I said with a smile. there is no girl!!! and she was like " what do you mean"? I said that girl is you..!! and she said "I KNEW" then she was trying to show me that she did not like what I did and called it immature! Lol but after that we started talking about us. She asked me what do you want from relationship! And I said nothing I just wanted to tell you that I am willing to know you more and it takes time to see what we both want from each other.. but one thing that took my attention was. I told her there was a good chemistry in our eye contacts, and she said yes that does not happen often.!.
NOW, to make the story short (SORRY for the long journey lol). The next day I told her I want to see her, I bought a flower for her.. when she saw me she was a bit different. She was not comfortable with me like before. She sat in my car and I told her that I just wanted to apologize for any inconvenience that she experienced last night and I gave her the flower. She said I will accept your apology and then said this is a very nice flower..
Then I told her can I kiss you?! ( I know I shouldn't have said that, but I did) then she said! Why do you want to kiss me? We are friends NO? I though we talked about this last night (which actually I mentioned that) and I said yes its clear..
After that she still sits beside me in the class, but recently, she ignores me alto. She does not return my text messaging no more. For instance I was in the gym and she was there too. She was on treadmill and she dropped her IPhone. I gave her and she smiled and thanked me, but when she was living, she even did not say goodbye.. she is now so different.
What do you think about this story? Is it going anywhere? What can I do to take her attention back to me? What can I her to die for me? I mean I already told her that because of the lie she was going to say for me, I will LIE for her anytime, anywhere. And I told her that I wanted to test her.. lool she wasn't so happy for that for sure..
Anyway..
What can I do? Please don't take this story personal, and give me your best advice that you could. I really like this girl, but sometimes when you like someone, you act so stupid and don't know what to do. is she ignoring me because she wants to see if I go after her and if I really like her? Or she does not like me no more! Or what?
Please tell me any ways that I can approach her. I know there are other guys that likes her for sure, but what can I do to make her mine?
Please give me any suggestions. I am so desperate.. lol but I did not show her that I am. I mean she has not talked to me since then, I just message her a few times and said hey. just wanted to say hi.. and once I message her and asked her if she wants to hang out? And she said, Depends where, when, what!! And I said we can do somany things such as such..! And then she said I don't know.! Then she replied, I am so busy until Christmas..!
WHAT SHOULD I DO..? HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELPPPPPPPPPP.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frank1980

I really like this girl, but sometimes when you like someone, you act so stupid

Indeed.

There is many red flags I don't know where to begin. Let's start by you. You seem extremely desperate, and girls can see this from a mile away. Are you sure you're 29? Playing games with her and expect her to fall for you?

Then bringing a flower for the next day, or even asking to kiss her, or even text messaging several times... You need some confidence and you need to grow some ego. She ignores you, take a hint, she doesn't want you and you should move on. There is no way she's going back to you. And stop playing games with people, they are not toys.

Secondly, she cheated on your boyfriend and you want to date her? She doesn't feel too bad about it.

Like I said, move on, take care of yourself so that you are better with girls and forget about her. There is nothing you can do except ameliorating yourself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by paxe

Indeed.

There is many red flags I don't know where to begin. Let's start by you. You seem extremely desperate, and girls can see this from a mile away. Are you sure you're 29? Playing games with her and expect her to fall for you?

Then bringing a flower for the next day, or even asking to kiss her, or even text messaging several times... You need some confidence and you need to grow some ego. She ignores you, take a hint, she doesn't want you and you should move on. There is no way she's going back to you. And stop playing games with people, they are not toys.

Secondly, she cheated on your boyfriend and you want to date her? She doesn't feel too bad about it.

Like I said, move on, take care of yourself so that you are better with girls and forget about her. There is nothing you can do except ameliorating yourself.

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Yes.
But, why she still sits beside me.. I mean there are plently empty sits to sit, but she comes right beside me to sit. Plus, the other day I was talking to another girl right beside me.. then she came in and saw me.. then stright she came to me and said..! Hey, did you just message me?! I was like.. yes.. (I mean she could see my name on her phone, so why did she even said that? I think she wanted the other girl to fly and go away..! I don't know.. )

Doesn't mean anything at all. She just likes the attention. On the contrary talking to other girls is a good point for you, so continue doing that and leave the other one alone. And if she sits next to you again, then come later than her and don't sit next to her.

As simple as that. There is truly plenty of fish in the sea.

Honestly, from the sound of it you kind of freaked this girl out. Talk to her as a friend, and let her know that's all your looking for. Get to know her a little better. All a girl wants is a nice guy that doesn't want to drool over her everythime they get the chance. Ask her how her day is, and things like that. Maybe once she's comfortable go out to coffee. Give it time, if its meant to be it will.

It doesn't matter what she thinks now.

What matters is that you (I hope) have learned that playing games with trust and lies is an extremely unwise way of starting a relationship with someone you profess to care about.

Move on and find someone you respect enough to honest with from the beginning. No more testing and asking the girl/woman to lie for you, etc.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat1864

It doesn't matter what she thinks now.

What matters is that you (I hope) have learned that playing games with trust and lies is an extremely unwise way of starting a relationship with someone you profess to care about.

Move on and find someone you respect enough to honest with from the beginning. No more testing and asking the girl/woman to lie for you, etc.

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Yes I learned my lesson. But I wish there was a way to take her back..

I don't know if either of you could ever trust the other person, again. You can give it time and see if she warms up to you again, however, keep this in mind, she trusted you with something that probably hurts her more than she let on (the cheating) and you used it against her.

Be honest with yourself, IF the two of you were in a relationship, would you be worrying that she might stray? IF you have any part of your brain saying yes, then let her go. Don't try to build a relationship on extremely shaky ground. Both of you would only end up hurting even more and probably hurting each other.

Threads merged

I am really in love with this girl from my class (university level), we have been out afew times but I think I ruined it. She still likes me but I actually told her my feeling too early so she kind of scared I think or! I don't know. Just how can I get that chemistry which was between us, back? Please don't tell me phrases such as ``there are so many fishes in the sea`` and stuff like that.. show me a WAY.. for once please give me some IDEAS to how to fix this and make her mine for EVER. Lol thank you.

Have you tried flowers ? A card ? A card with an invitation to dinner ? A weekend away at a B&B (if you were intimate) ? Send a singing telegram ?

Maybe some of these will get your foot back in her door

Ms tickle

Quote:

Originally Posted by tickle

Have you tried flowers ? A card ? A card with an invitation to dinner ? A weekend away at a B&B (if you were intimate) ? Send a singing telegram ?

Maybe some of these will get your foot back in her door

ms tickle

What is singing telegram? Sorry I have no idea what that is?. it sounds nice. Tell me more about it please and how it works

I am so glad you asked, because I would love someone to send me one, here is the information:

Singing telegram
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A singing telegram is a message, transmitted by telegram or otherwise, that is delivered by an artist in a musical form. Singing telegrams are historically linked to normal telegrams, but tend to be humorous. Sometimes the artist is in costume or formal clothing. Singing telegrams are often given as a gift.

Western Union, the American telegraph company began offering singing telegram services in 1933. On July 28, 1933, a fan sent Hollywood singing star Rudy Vallee a birthday greeting by telegram. George P. Oslin (1899-1996), the Western Union public relations director, decided this would be a good opportunity to make telegrams, which had been associated with deaths and other tragic news, into something more popular. He asked a Western Union operator, Lucille Lipps, to sing the message over the telephone, and this became the first singing telegram.[1] While Oslin created the singing telegram because he thought "that messages should be fun," he recalled that he "was angrily informed I was making a laughingstock of the company."[2]

As relatively few telegram recipients had telephones, most telegrams, including singing telegrams, were first delivered in person. The popularization of the telephone in the 1960s reduced telegrams in general. By 1972, Western Union was receiving a small number of requests for singing telegrams and was seeking regulatory approval on a state-by-state basis to eliminate the offering.[3] Western Union suspended its singing telegram service in 1974, but independent singing telegram companies, specializing in often costumed personal delivery of gift messages, have kept up the tradition.

How about acting like a mature serious minded human being, who doesn't play games, and knows how to treat a lady.

It's a big red flag your ignoring when she told you she cheated on her last boyfriend, and didn't regret it at all.

Its also a big red flag she fronted you off in front of another female, and then ignores you.

Another really big red flag was her going along with your childish games of lying for you. That was as dumb as it gets.

You seem to be ignoring the obvious my friend, and no amount of advice we give you will make her stop playing HER games, and make her yours forever.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

How about acting like a mature serious minded human being, who doesn't play games, and knows how to treat a lady.

Its a big red flag your ignoring when she told you she cheated on her last boyfriend, and didn't regret it at all.

Its also a big red flag she fronted you off in front of another female, and then ignores you.

Another really big red flag was her going along with your childish games of lying for you. That was as dumb as it gets.

You seem to be ignoring the obvious my friend, and no amount of advice we give you will make her stop playing HER games, and make her yours forever.

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Well after she told me she cheated on her ex. I asked her why did you do it? She told me "everything is changing" people are changing. It depends how much you love the person, and it depends to so many other thigs. That was her answer.

She didn't front me off in from of another female. I don't know where did I say that! I said I played a game like there is another female involved, just wanted to see how she react ( I know it is so childish and I will never do that again) but that's what I did.
She is now do not talk to me I mean she sometimes look @ me and smiles. I know she still like me, but I don't know what to do now. instead of telling me all these ngative stuff MR SENIOR RELATIONSHIP ADVISOR. Could you tell me how could I build this connection again? I am sure she likes me and I really like her. Whatever happens, that's my problem and I am ready to deal with it, but if you show me some ways I would be really appreciated and I will send you a nice gift anywhere in the world you are if your ways works. :) thank you

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/amhd_i...s/viewpost.gif
How about acting like a mature serious minded human being, who doesn't play games, and knows how to treat a lady.

You obviously missed the first thing I wrote, or it went over your head. Whatever, back up guy and pay better attention so you will know what to do. Your biggest problem is your to wrapped up in your own way of doing things you aren't listening to what she is telling you.

Pay a lot better attention.

Quote:

Plus, the other day I was talking to another girl right beside me.. then she came in and saw me.. then straight she came to me and said..!! hey, did you just message me?!!! I was like..! yes.. (I mean she could see my name on her phone, so why did she even said that? I think she wanted the other girl to fly and go away..! I don't know.. )

This is her fronting you off in front of another girl, and it's a game that females play to keep you close. This isn't a good thing friend, its her way of control. Geez dude, can't you see her thing is all about control, and rather obvious about it too!

My advice, whether you take it or not, or like it or not, is pay attention, and find out a lot more than you already know about her character, her motives, and her agenda. Your so carried away by the getting that "chemistry" back, that you completely ignore the information that she is sending you. Get your head out of the clouds kid, and approach this in the ways of a man, mature, cool, calm, and collected, like you stand for something, and ain't about the bull crap. Not some needy lovesick puppy who is sniffing at some new poontang, who has to resort to tricks, and traps to get over, because he doesn't know any better!

Stop chasing, and patiently wait for it to come to you some, and know the game when its played on you.

Thats the advice of the Senior Relationship Expert.

Your words gave me self-confident I really thank you. But, I would like to mention that I have grown in a country where it was so strict ed about relationships between girls and boys. Until the age of 18 there is no school which boys and girls are together. It was like military. Males go to one school and Females to another, so I did not LEARN how to read those information that females send. I still don't know. She might send me so many messages, but I DO NOT GET THEM. I consider myself SO stupid when it comes to relationship. I mean does not mean I have ever touched a girl. I lost my virginity at the age of 14 lol and I had lots of FUN friends to have sex with and fun with, but when it comes to love someone I can NEVER ever find out what they are telling me and why they are doing what they do. So, please if you could tell me what to do EXACTLY, I mean you already told me to be like a man (Get your head out of the clouds kid, and approach this in the ways of a man, mature, cool, calm, and collected, like you stand for something, and ain't about the bull crap) but still I didn't get what exactly I mus do to her! OK lets say you are talking to a 10 year old kid who is a really good student. All he needs is an older experienced man to tell him what to do. Let me tell you more about her. She did not even answer my text message or even answer my "HI" for about two weeks. Even she sits in another place in the class room, she usually sits beside me. But she started to smile at me and say HI again!! I actually did not show her I am a needy person which I know I am (at least INSIDE) but I did not show her. I mean she didn't say hi. I didn't say hi.. I didn't even look at her. Tell me what to do please I really have to make her mine. LOL

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And by the way.. YOU ARE A SENIOR RELATIONSHIP EXPERT

Forget making her yours, step back, and find out who she is. Not just her, but any female. Its not about possessing them, its about knowing them. The key is to stay alert through the hormones, and attractions, that are lust right now. Once you are a slave to your lust, you can't be objective, nor see the already red flags she is waving. The red flags say caution, watch out.

Its important to pay attention, and keep those lusts in enough check that you can see the person for what they are, not what you want from them, because trust me, they may have their own agenda, and motives.

Stop chasing her, as she will only ignore you, and keep running, as she is now. Let her reveal something that shows some interest, and if she doesn't, leave her alone.

Personally from what you have written, she may be beyond you, and know exactly which buttons to push to make you jump through a few hoops, so get beyond the lust, and the so called chemistry, and keep it real, so you don't run head first into a brick wall, at full speed.

You have already shown your unthinking, and impulsive, so slow the train down with this one. Way down.

Not what you want to hear, I'm sure, but your choices need to be based on facts, not just some very strong intense feelings.

Frank, you may not like this advice.

No one can tell you 'exactly' what to do to get her to give you another chance. You want absolutes in an area of Life where there are none.

Part of gaining maturity is to know that no matter how much you want things to work out, if the other person isn't working on it with you then it isn't going to work. It is also knowing that the other person may not feel the same way you do even if it appears she/he might. Reading your own feelings into her actions is not the same as her feeling or returning them.

The best thing that you can do is to be yourself. Live your own life and not worry about what she is doing. Continue making other friends and meeting other girls. Don't obsess over the girl who got away. If you are so focused on her and what you think you feel for her (sounds like a fantasy to me), you may miss the girl sitting beside you who is interested in you and who may be better suited to building a relationship with you.