Well where do I start other than I made the biggest mistake of my life 1yr ago I had an affair with another woman for about a yr and my girlfriend found out about it after I broke it off and made a real commitment to our relaltionship I took advantage of everything that is real and true in a relationship and I know that I am going to lose the best thing that ever happen to me we have been together for 3.5 yrs since the betrayal and time she has found out about it I am trying to do everything I can to prove and show her that it will never happen again I am in love with her so much and also her daughter this has been an emotional roller coaster for both of us but I don't know whether to keep trying to make this work I am in counseling right now have read different books on infedility and betrayal but she still tells me that she will never be able to stop wondering if I will do it again and this was done to her in her first marriage also so you can only imagine on how she feels again I want nothing more than for us to work this out but I need her to be with me on this but just not sure she is going to be able to get through it and let me prove it so basically should I keep trying to show her I do love her and I am greatly sorry for this or just let it go I have not really given her time and space I have been hounding her with everything that I am willing to do just so I can keep her close and not ready for this to end


Thanks contrnot

Well...

Try again and if still not works ask her does she want space for a bit is so gove her a space and she'll know your will work 2 get the if you ask her what she wants,, buy her her fav flowers and sweets but write their from her one ture love write pomes as well on the card if you get one with the flowers try and think and write was you feel... also if you do get back with her tell her that you would never do it again and how you girls like lads that tell them how you feel about them hope this helps :D x

You are treading on thin ice. Are you sure that you will never cheat on her again? Can you even trust yourself? If you can't truly in your heart believe that you can be faithful, then you need to let her go. You had a year long affair with another woman fully knowing that she's been cheated on before. She's been cheated on twice and needs some counseling of her own. If I was her I'd dump you.

I really don't think there is anything you can do to convince her, it's inside her.. the trust or no trust. Time is most likely the answer.

I once thought that I could never forgive and forget, I have found I can forgive but still never forget. Some times it will always be with you.:)

Just Dahlia is right. Time is most likely the answer. You're doing the right thing by going to counseling. However, I think it could benefit her too if she's been cheated on in the past. It will be hard to convince her to go by herself, but it might be easier to try to convince her to come with you. It my opinion it's worth a try.

It's time to own up to your mistakes. If you didn't want to loose her, then you shouldn't have put the relationship in jepordy by cheating. Doesn't sound like you care about her much if you cheated for an entire year. You're just facing the consequences of your actions now.

It's not for you to get her back. You can do your best to show her that you've changed, but it's her choice whether she wants to give you another chance. But if she can't find it in her heart to trust you again, then it's definitely over.

No trust = No relationship

It might be too late to save this relationship, but it's not too late to learn from your mistakes.

In order to save the relationship you need to put yourself on the line and be aware that it's going to take time for her to trust you again.

Better still, understand for yourself the reasons you behaved in this way and don't, ever, do it again, to anyone.

You can't make her trust you again overnight, and words don't count. Only by your actions on a day-to-day basis can you regain her trust. Let her know where you're going, don't lie to her (about anything), be prepared to answer her questions about who you're with without being defensive, open your heart to being vulnerable.

We all make mistakes and we shouldn't be punished forever for them. However, you need to understand that people may forgive, but it takes a long time to forget. Her distrust may always be there in the background. You have to be man enough to wear it.