I am engaged to marry a divorced father of three. He has been divorced alomost 6 years . His ex remarried three years ago. He got the kids after the divorce. His kids and I have a good relationship. His kids are happy to see him happy. His youngest is halfway through college and having some aniexty over the changes . We are planning on moving to a different town. Even though she rarely comes home for a visit this is upsetting to her.

My question are do we stay in the same town? Do I talk to her to reassure her that her Dad is not abandoning her? I want his relationship with his kids to remain as it has been. Should I let her and her dad deal with this?

Where are the other two kids, are they still in the home?

What do you mean about 'some anxiety'.

How far away are you moving?

Is the house you are leaving the one they grew up in?

The older ones are living on there own. The house is not childhood home but we would be moving about two hours from hometown.

I think she is feeling as though she has no home. As the new home would be ours. Should we have her help with the choice of homes? I want her to feel at home wearever we end up.

Because you and your fiancé have a good relationship overall with his children, I think that when the dust settles and she has accepted the fact that the two of you have moved, she will be fine.

Once she visits and realizes that the relationships remain as they were, and it is only a new place, she won't feel out of place or uncomfortable.

My children were in six schools in eight years, and it was a tricky thing to deal with the anxiety of leaving familiar surroundings, and starting new so many times while they were growing up. But, they managed well, and there were no lasting effects.

Because your fiancés children are on their own, and living independently, I wouldn't give moving a second thought. Keep them up to date and informed about the new house, what the town is like, when exactly the move will happen. And if you can, before you move, give them a date when you plan a housewarming party, with just the two of you, and the kids.

The kids are really adults, so I think you should talk openly and honestly with them and let them know that Dad will always be there for them. Sometimes kids, even adult kids, seem to have a dream that one day Mom and Dad will work it all out and get back together. Just reassure them - that's all you can do!