I am currently going to court this Thursday! And I need help , I have been searching all over the internet but can not find anything about my question. The father of my daughter is taking me to court for visitation. He has not been around since she was 6weeks old and My lawyer has informed me he does not have to back child support from the time she was born, only since the day of his filing? I was wondering if anyone knew anything about this and if I could sue him for the back child support from the last two years as well. I feel he should have to pay for some of it to. Being a single parent is hard. My fiancé, has been supporting my daughter as well for over a year. The first year of a child's life is the most expensive. Is there any way I can sue him for back child support for her since he was not around, or even my fiancé sue him.

Most states do not allow support prior to you filing for it. If your lawyer is telling you that you cannot get it, I would believe him. Its his job to know.

I agree with Stevecg--your lawyer is going to know better than we would/

If you'd wanted child support for those other years, why didn't you FILE for it?

Or is it just that you are being selfish and retaliatory because the biological father didn't follow the lines YOU wanted him to, and won't go away, and wants to know his child?

You left out two important pieces of information here. How old is the child and when did you first file for support.

Your lawyer is correct, support starts generally from the day you file. Even if the award is not made for several months, the award is usually retroactive to the date the request was filed. So if you have not filed previously, that's your fault and the father is not penalized for it.

Also, most states separate support and visitation. A parent is not required to pay support or be up to date in their support to ask for and receive visitation. The reverse is also true, a parent does not have to be awarded visitation but can still be held responsible for support.

The idea of your fiancée suing him MAY have some merit. If he can prove that he has been providing support for the child partially because the legal father has not stepped up to do his share, may fly in court. Your lawyer can better advise you on how your local courts will look at this. It's a long shot at best.

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Originally Posted by lilmama0923

I am currently going to court this thursday! And I need help , I have been searching all over the internet but can not find anything about my question. The father of my daughter is taking me to court for visitation. He has not been around since she was 6weeks old and My lawyer has informed me he does not have to back child support from the time she was born, only since the day of his filing? I was wondering if anyone knew anything about this and if I could sue him for the back child support from the last two years as well. I feel he should have to pay for some of it to. Being a single parent is hard. My fiance, has been supporting my daughter as well for over a year. The first year of a childs life is the most expensive. Is there any way I can sue him for back child support for her since he was not around, or even my fiance sue him.

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Your lawyer is right... it is your fault that you have not asked for child support.
Your fiancée does not have dogs in that fight.

Everyone is right. You needed to file for support in order for him to owe you anything. So if you never went to court to get an order for support then it's your own fault that he hasn't been paying anything. In most states support is only ordered back to the date it was filed for and he is filing for visitation he isn't filing for support. Those are two separate issues you are the one that has to file for support.

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Originally Posted by Synnen

I agree with Stevecg--your lawyer is going to know better than we would/

If you'd wanted child support for those other years, why didn't you FILE for it?

Or is it just that you are being selfish and retaliatory because the biological father didn't follow the lines YOU wanted him to, and won't go away, and wants to know his child?

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Ac tually I am not being selfish... The father stopped coming around after she was 6 weeks old because I would not let him take her alone... but I did not let him because he was doing drugs and always out partying with his friends. So I did not trust him, I told him to show me I can trust him then he could take her whenever, and he wasn't even giving me any money, it was never about the money. After that he had only seen her since she was 6 weeks old and I was actually in the process of going and having my fiancé adopt her , we have all the proof he has been supporting, he has never asked to his child only his current girlfriend/new baby mama has asked for him. He was never man enough to ask me himself and I told her to have him ask be that it is his responsbility not his, of course she did not like that and she don't like me so they decieded to go the hard route instead of just himself asking me. So I don't care about the money I just think, that if he wants to man up now he should have to pay back from the time she was born. I never took him to court for his money I did not need it I took care of my daughter myself the first year of her life, and was fine with it. When my daughter was a year old I met my fiancé, and we have been living with him for over a year and I am currently going to school, so he does support her and I do not receive any welfare and never have.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

You left out two important pieces of information here. How old is the child and when did you first file for support.

Your lawyer is correct, support starts generally from the day you file. Even if the award is not made for several months, the award is usually retroactive to the date the request was filed. So if you have not filed previously, that's your fault and the father is not penalized for it.

Also, most states separate support and visitation. A parent is not required to pay support or be up to date in their support to ask for and receive visitation. The reverse is also true, a parent does not have to be awarded visitation but can still be held responsible for support.

The idea of your fiancee suing him MAY have some merit. If he can prove that he has been providing support for the child partially because the legal father has not stepped up to do his share, may fly in court. Your lawyer can better advise you on how your local courts will look at this. Its a long shot at best.

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My daughter is two and a half , and the father first filed in June of this year. So I will be getting back pay from June. Which is at 1000 because he does not even currently work and has not worked since 2008 he claims. So he is filing all this and does not have a job. Thanks on the info about my fiancé maybe able to sue him. I will def. ask my lawyer about that. I do not want to sue him, but he wants to come in here after over two years and try to finally get to know her when he's never asked me himself since she wa 6weeks old, and he knows I asked for him to drop his rights because he can not support her and he does not know her. She thinks her father is my fiancé.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

The idea of your fiancee suing him MAY have some merit. If he can prove that he has been providing support for the child partially because the legal father has not stepped up to do his share, may fly in court. Your lawyer can better advise you on how your local courts will look at this. Its a long shot at best.

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I think the statement I placed in bold sums it up best. You can try but I really can't see any reasonable judge allowing for this. The OP knew who the father was and admittedly never requested through the courts that he do his part - at least financially - for their child; I don't see how her fiancé has any grounds to ask for reimbursement.

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Originally Posted by lilmama0923

My daughter is two and a half , and the father first filed in June of this year. so I will be getting back pay from June. Which is at 1000 because he does not even currently work and has not worked since 2008 he claims. So he is filing all this and does not have a job. Thanx on the info about my fiance maybe able to sue him. I will def. ask my lawyer about that. I do not want to sue him, but he wants to come in here after over two years and try to finally get to know her when hes never asked me himself since she wa 6weeks old, and he knows I asked for him to drop his rights because he can not support her and he does not know her. She thinks her father is my fiance.

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I HIGHLY suggest that you make sure that she knows he's not at some point. Children finding out at a later age tend to hold resentments against their parents for lying to them about their birth.

She WILL find out at some point. It's better if it comes from you, and while she's still too young to understand.

Better that he's coming when she's 2 than when she's 12, don't you think? He has as much right to her as you do.

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Originally Posted by lilmama0923

My daughter is two and a half , and the father first filed in June of this year. so I will be getting back pay from June. Which is at 1000 because he does not even currently work and has not worked since 2008 he claims. So he is filing all this and does not have a job. Thanx on the info about my fiance maybe able to sue him. I will def. ask my lawyer about that. I do not want to sue him, but he wants to come in here after over two years and try to finally get to know her when hes never asked me himself since she wa 6weeks old, and he knows I asked for him to drop his rights because he can not support her and he does not know her. She thinks her father is my fiance.

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Its not when the FATHER filed for visitation, its when YOU file for support. As I said, support and visitation are separate issues. If he filed for visitation and you did not counter file for support, then you still haven't filed for support. Since you have an attorney, I will assume he has already filed for support, but it goes back to the day YOU file for support, not the day he files for visitation.

Now, according to what you've posted, you think its really his current girlfriend who wants a child to play with that is driving this. If that's true, then I agree with your fighting visitation. But the best way to do that, In my opinion, is to proceed with the adoption. Most states, but not all, do require you be married before applying for adoption. Your lawyer can advise. If the bio father refuses to allow it you can try offering to drop the back support if he will relinquish. The adoption will also end any future support obligations. It will also end his rights to see the child since he will no longer have legal standing.

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Originally Posted by this8384

I think the statement I placed in bold sums it up best. You can try but I really can't see any reasonable judge allowing for this. The OP knew who the father was and admittedly never requested through the courts that he do his part - at least financially - for their child; I don't see how her fiance has any grounds to ask for reimbursement.

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While I don't disagree with what you are saying, I approach this from a different angle. A father is responsible for supporting his child. Child support laws are based on that legal fact. Those support laws are there to enforce that legal fact. But that doesn't mean the responsibility doesn't exist if the custodial parent doesn't ask for it.

So I don't think the fact that the custodial parent never asked for support to be relevant in an action as I suggested. I think the real stumbling block will be that the fiancée volunteered the support and was not forced to do so by inaction of the legal parent.

Its an interesting issue and I hope the OP will let us know what her lawyer says on it.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

While I don't disagree with what you are saying, I approach this from a different angle. A father is responsible for supporting his child. Child support laws are based on that legal fact. Those support laws are there to enforce that legal fact. But that doesn't mean the responsibility doesn't exist if the custodial parent doesn't ask for it.

So I don't think the fact that the custodial parent never asked for support to be relevant in an action as I suggested. I think the real stumbling block will be that the fiancee volunteered the support and was not forced to do so by inaction of the legal parent.

Its an interesting issue and I hope the OP will let us know what her lawyer says on it.

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I agree wholeheartedly. A parent - whether male or female - has a financial obligation to help support the child that they helped create.

Your second sentence in your second paragraph is exactly what I was trying to say. The OP knew who the biological father was, yet never requested support from him. I have to assume that her fiancé was aware of those facts and still chose to help support the OP's child. Like you said, nobody forced him to support the child, which is why I see no grounds for any "restitution"(so to speak) to be ordered on the OP's fiance's behalf.

Well I am not going to lie to her. She is going to know that is her biological father obviously it is going to come out. Does not mean she HAS to call him dad. But he does not take care of her and he still can not take care of her. He will be getting vistation rights, suprivesed with me in a public place for 90 days till she is comfortable enough to go with him alone. Also I feel that my fiancé has every right to sue him for I have talked to my lawyer about it , and is a thing that can happen.


Well I am not going to lie to her. She is going to know that is her biological father obviously it is going to come out. Does not mean she HAS to call him dad. But he does not take care of her and he still can not take care of her. He will be getting vistation rights, suprivesed with me in a public place for 90 days till she is comfortable enough to go with him alone. Also I feel that my fiancé has every right to sue him for I have talked to my lawyer about it , and is a thing that can happen. Also the state of Indiana is going to go after him, for the health expenses.

I saw your another post on another board.
1 IC 36.6.6.1 WHERE THE RETROACTIVE CHILD SUPPORT WAS MANDATED is repilled.
Now a non-paternity support order establishment situation ,support can be ordered no earlier than date of Court filing./According to IC31-16-6-1/PERIOD.

IC 31-16-6-4
Medical support
Sec. 4. (a) A child support order must include an order for
Medical support to be provided by either or both parents.

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Originally Posted by lilmama0923

also I feel that my fiance has every right to sue him for I have talked to my lawyer about it , and is a thing that can happen..

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Hmmm... I am really in doubt that quantum meruit is applicable in that case.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Its not when the FATHER filed for visitation, its when YOU file for support. As I said, support and visitation are separate issues. If he filed for visitation and you did not counter file for support, then you still haven't filed for support. Since you have an attorney, I will assume he has already filed for support, but it goes back to the day YOU file for support, not the day he files for visitation.

Now, according to what you've posted, you think its really his current girlfriend who wants a child to play with that is driving this. If that's true, then I agree with your fighting visitation. But the best way to do that, IMHO, is to proceed with the adoption. Most states, but not all, do require you be married before applying for adoption. Your lawyer can advise. If the bio father refuses to allow it you can try offering to drop the back support if he will relinquish. The adoption will also end any future support obligations. It will also end his rights to see the child since he will no longer have legal standing.

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Oh yes, I know it is his g.f. He never had any interest in seeing her ever, and then after he started seeing this girl, and had a baby with her she begun asking if he could see her HE never asked himself I even invited him to her first birthday and all that stuff.. never once replied to me. I know it is her... she does not like me for some reason and likes to make comments at me over the myspace. Saying I'm anxeoric because I'm skinny and that I am selfish b****, when he is feeding her lies and she does not still believe me when I tell her the truth, there is a lot more to the story, how he put me threw hell in pregnancy and I left him and all that bs but she wants to think I am the bad guy here.. I guess I will find out tomarrow at court. Thanks for all your help.

Ahhh another case in my lovely state. Good luck with your boyfriend suing him. Anyone can sue for anything but that dosen't mean that they will win. (that's one of my favorite quotes that I made up while answering one of my profs questions). In this state, as I'm sure in some other states as well, it also has a lot to do with the county you are in as to how busy they are and what not with the outcome of these cases. I was born and raised here and have lived in a couple different counties for a good amount of years in each and can tell you there are great differences with the way judges handle the same situation. (usually based off thing not so much in their control like how crowded the jail is)