What is considered cheating in a marriage?
I am a professional lady in her 50's who married a man of her dreams two years ago (second marriage for both). A couple of months after our marriage, I discovered that my husband had an ex girlfriend on his FACE BOOK which he lied about that he did not know. He admitted it a week later that he knew who she was. I am not insecure about myself, but asked him to remove her as I was not on it. He did not, so I did. After that our marriage has been nothing but lies on his behalf.
He has continued keeping in touch with this woman and others from his past behind my back. To make things worse this man has gone on dating and porn sites (I have proof) and when confronted denied everything. I love my husband and do not believe in a divorce. I have asked him to let go of his past contacts (all single women) and move on with our new life, but he continues contacting them especially his ex girlfriend who lives in British Columbia. He has told everyone who would listen, that he has never loved me in a romantic way, thrashes me in his emails to these women and that he wants our of this marriage. I am portrayed as the evil one, while he does not tell them what he has done. My husband uses our arguments as an excuse not to be intimate for months.
There has been 44 emails exchanged between my husband and his ex girlfriend in the last 9 months (I have proof of 3). If he had admitted knowing her in the first place and told me that he wanted to be friends with her, I would been able to deal with this. He has not admitted in keeping in touch with any of his past conquests and still denies that he is not doing anything wrong.
I NEED YOUR HELP MEN/WOMEN IN ANSWERING THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS:
1. Should a married (Christian) man go on dating/porn sites?
2. Is it considered cheating by doing so and keeping in touch with other single women?
3. Do other (married) men do this and is it considered acceptable in a marriage?
4. Should I contact the his ex girlfriend and tell her to end correspondence/friendship with my husband as she is the cause of our problems or sit back and see where their communication leads to?
5. Why or do other married men keep in touch with their past conquests?
6. Why do married men/women lie to their spouse? What have you got to gain from this?
7. How do I put an end to this? Divorce is not an option as I love my husband and I will stop at nothing to prevent one.
Response or input from women/men in similar situation would be appreciated. My sincere thanks to all who respond.
Sincerely,
Married Lady