I pray somebody can help me reason with my problem or just talk to me. Okay. Here I go.
Me and my ex were together for 4 years. We were each others first and only love. We had our ups and downs yes. But about 4 months ago . He left me. He has called a couple times asking me how I've been but nothing more. I miss him so much and feel he is the only one for me. I Just need to know if I should just give up or keep trying. I Just don't understand. Someone please help me..

I think if you really love him you need to tell him how you feel. If u want to get over him or he thinks you guys are really over you should start by getting rid of anything that reminds you of him. You need to start a sport or activity that will help you keep your mind off him. I know how you feel I am going through the same thing!

Well I don't know how to get myself up off the ground . I know its been four months. And he says he still loves me. I just pray he will come around and realize I love him more than anything. I have pretty much quit life in these past 4 months. I know we had our ups and downs but doesn't every relationship. I just want to be happy again .he became a policeman. And now he's just so much different. He will call me and show me his soft side only I know. But to every one else he's mr tough guy. Why is that. I just don't know. I miss him so much I just need help going through this. Thanks for your answer I appreciate it.

since you guys understand what this is like... PLEASE read/reply to mine... we're all in the same f'in boat =( "In love/hooking up..."

I completely feel your pain... im also in a relationship for almost 5 years now... (we're still together) but I know how HARD it is to be apart with someone who stayed by your side for that long period!

First of all.. what is the reason of you two breaking up? I didn't mean to re-open your pain.. but we need to know this of course...
Second... why did he left u? Did he mentioned anything? About him (maybe he needs time alone, he's bored, or etc?), or maybe about u (ur physical appearances, or mentally? Are you too needy? etc?) we need to know this in order... TO FIGHT BACK AND TO GET HIM BACK!

In terms of breaking up.. u need to think smart...
Read books called "why men love es?" by sherry argov.. it will give you a kick in the butt... (seriously!) if you really want to get him back.. please be sure to read this... if you don't know where to buy it.. just go to amazon.com and ORDER IT!

Second... watch chick-flick movies who teach you about revenge.. (but in a good way)... such as Legally blonde... or sabrina... it will teach you and you will see from both movies.. the pattern that you need... (strong woman! ) but I recommend you to watch it... 10 times if you need it

Third.. invest in good clotches or hairdresser... change your appearances... u want to look good in front of him right?

He still contact you and that's one bonus... bcause most men after breaking up with woman... will usually trying to avoid or running away... so you still got lots of chances to show him the better you... make him want you back... okay?

Cheer, and keep on fighting..

Sorry... I mean... the book called "why men love es?"... I forgot to put the '' there.. :)

<<he left me. He has called a couple times asking me how I've been but nothing more.>>

What did you answer when he asked how have you been?

The next time do not answer his calls! That will start to wake him up.Call him back a day or 2 late and tell him what a wonderful time you have been having and all the great things you have been doing, be mysterious, and don't mention anything about the relationship.
The change of career perhaps had a big impact on him, men usually want to focus on their career first.
Go and read my thread , there is a lot of great advice there.

What you are feeling is normal. 4 years is a long time especially for a "first love" relationship. You have grown very attached to this person and I'm sure the sudden switch from "on" to "off" is comparable to not being able to breathe out of the blue. It's a hard trial and I wish I could say that it will be easy to carry on but it will take some time and it's best not to beat yourself up if you find it overwhelming at times. Those first loves leave a mark on all of us and become our "one" that never seems to fully leave our memory. It will be hard to accept or understand this now but there will come a time where you will move on and eventually find another.

Forgive me if I sound like some cornball new age guy or a motivational speaker but over many years of pondering and searching through pains both new and old I eventually came to realize peace and happiness does not start with someone else, it starts with yourself.

Learn from your pain. You will develop your "battle armor" as I call it and as time passes and more misadventures present themselves usually when we least expect them (as life so loves to do) it will protect you. Give yourself time, and do what you can to keep busy. You'll get there eventually.

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Originally Posted by raerae3

I pray somebody can help me reason with my problem or just talk to me. okay. here i go.
Me and my ex were together for 4 years. we were each others first and only love. we had our ups and downs yes. but about 4 months ago . he left me. he has called a couple times asking me how ive been but nothing more. I miss him so much and feel he is the only one for me. I Just need to know if i should just give up or keep trying. I Just dont understand. someone please help me ..

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In my opinion there odds are that he will come back... if he calls that means he is still cares even if he doesn't say it.. what you should do if you really want him back don't take up the calls anymore.. he will turn up next at your door..

Quote:

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Originally Posted by raerae3

I pray somebody can help me reason with my problem or just talk to me. okay. here i go.
Me and my ex were together for 4 years. we were each others first and only love. we had our ups and downs yes. but about 4 months ago . he left me. he has called a couple times asking me how ive been but nothing more. I miss him so much and feel he is the only one for me. I Just need to know if i should just give up or keep trying. I Just dont understand. someone please help me ..

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I really understand but I don't no what you should do,I would wait but then if he moved on then you will be deverstated.I miss my first love so much I haven't seen him for 5yrs.wen we split up I was heart brocken for 2yrs coulnt stop crying and now I'm still think of him.it will get easyer but then a few yrs down the line you will be like me.im in a relationship and can't move on because of thinking about him.ive finally got bk in touch but he has a girlfriend.ive txed him and wrote to him saying I miss you but I didn't think he cares anymore.he said he would neva trust me again.I cheated on him when I was 16 only because his mum hated me and he was allways grounded but I was young and stupid.I hope this will answer any of your questions sorry if it doesn't.

Hi there,

Sorry to hear about your pain. Believe me when I say I know what you are going through.

I have given some recent advice to someone else and rather than repeat it, I will just provide you a link to it so you can read through. I think a lot of it applies to you and how you can get through this very difficult time. You might need to reverse some of it as this guy is talking about his ex girl, not guy, but it does not matter because the circumstances are not altogether very different and the solution is mostly the same.

The link is: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...oth-42570.html

Will you get him back? I cannot really answer this but it shows that he cares by him contacting you.

Don't let this however build up any false hope and believe that this could in any way be an indication of the two of you getting back together in the near future.

Sometimes when the dumper contacts the dumpee, I think it is because they are feeling so much guilt and they need to know that the dumpee is o.k. The best thing you can do is keep yourself busy and try an move on without him, at least for now.

I wish you well..