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-   -   Can you change casual sex into a rel (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=414409)

  • Apr 20, 2009, 06:22 PM
    story-love
    Woman have stronger feelings
    I've been seeing my personal trainer for a few months, but he doesn't want people to know, for eg: people in the gym in case he looses his job, and he lives on my aunts road and I'm 19 he's 25 anyway somedays he can be really nice to me, then ignore me in the gym and not texting me, then come over inn the gym and be flirty and sweet and all. He said he wasn intrested in a relationship but I didn't think id be to but I'm starting to have strong feelings for him, do you think he could ever change his mind about the relationship or is it just sex?
  • Apr 20, 2009, 06:57 PM
    I wish

    By his words and actions, he seems pretty clear that he doesn't want anything serious.

    You can't go into a relationship expecting to guy the other person. That's called fantasy land.

    You either accept his wishes or find someone else.
  • Apr 20, 2009, 10:38 PM
    Janmarie

    When a man tells you he is not wanting a relationship, you can believe that is what he means and sex will not change that. You will have to make a decission for yourself on this one. If I were you I would be looking for another gym to workout at.
  • Apr 20, 2009, 10:42 PM
    talaniman

    Its just sex, and I doubt you're the only one.
  • Apr 20, 2009, 11:15 PM
    none12345

    Its just sex probably or he's just playing the field.
  • Apr 20, 2009, 11:28 PM
    friend4u178

    Your falling for one of the oldest tricks in the book in my opinion.

    You're his Booty call , or as Tal says one of them.
  • Apr 21, 2009, 01:14 AM
    ylaira
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by story-love View Post
    he said he wasn intrested in a relationship but i didn think id be to but im startin to have strong feelings for him, do you think he could ever change his mind bout the relationship or is it just sex?


    Most weak relationships started with sex than finding the connection, rapport and understanding first.

    He's telling you now that he doesn't want a relationship so it's up to you to decide if you want the ride. If you will go on there will be an extremely high possibility of frustration and disappointment.
  • Apr 21, 2009, 10:42 AM
    Janmarie

    Very rarely and I stress "rarely" does a magical, committed long term relationship come out of a "casual sex" relationship. Im not saying that it doesn't happen, but it is rare if it does. This guy has his game on with you and knowing how you feel about him he has you right where he wants you. Take the advice given to you and learn from this experience. Opt for the man who will move heaven and earth to win you. Know that you deserve more. A satisfying, fulfilling life and relationship with a man who pursues and charishes YOU.
  • Apr 21, 2009, 12:26 PM
    HistorianChick

    He told you he didn't want a relationship.

    Women cannot change men. Period. And vice versa.

    If someone is honest with you and tells you what they don't want, you can pretty much be sure that they don't want it.

    I'm sorry for your growing feelings that are not returned, but you're going to have to respect his wishes and leave him alone.

    You want more. Don't settle for less.
  • Apr 21, 2009, 12:41 PM
    Romefalls19

    You are the flavor of the week, once he finds another piece, he backs away from you. When she leaves, he comes around again.
  • Apr 21, 2009, 01:13 PM
    story-love

    Thanks everyone but I'm the only girl he is seeing aswel, he also said if I ever got you pregnant id marry you... also said he really did like me... but I'm so confused. But I no he's not really seeing anyone else.
  • Apr 21, 2009, 01:16 PM
    none12345
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by story-love View Post
    thanks everyone but im the only girl he is seeing aswel, he also said if i ever got u pregnant id marry you... also said he realy did like me... but im so confused. but i no hes not really seeing anyone else.

    They say a lot of things... don't believe them, you want to have a child with someone who is committed to you right now so you know he ll be there for them for sure
  • Apr 21, 2009, 01:24 PM
    story-love
    Yeah but he's saying if he ever got me pregnant acidently he would. But no he's very open he tels me who he sleeps with and the last 2 months its just been me. Its been nearly 5 months that we've been sleeping together.
  • Apr 21, 2009, 11:25 PM
    talaniman

    I am afraid you won't find out the truth until it happens, no matter what he tells you.
  • Apr 21, 2009, 11:30 PM
    friend4u178
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    I am afraid you won't find out the truth until it happens, no matter what he tells you.

    Or what we tell her , she's hearing us but not listening :rolleyes:
  • Apr 21, 2009, 11:35 PM
    none12345
    I don't really know how to explain it more clearer than I already have but you seem to believe differently and that is OK. Tal is right, you won't know what will happen till it happens.
  • Apr 22, 2009, 02:25 PM
    Janmarie

    And don't accidently get pregnant just so he "may" marry you. I know a few girls who thought they could trap the guy into being with them forever. "it didn't work and they are all miserable for doing it that way. That was something that worked in the "Old" days. Today it is not the same. Like is not love and getting pregnant will not make him love you.
  • Apr 22, 2009, 02:46 PM
    Justwantfair

    How do you fall in love with someone who is treating you like his own personal whore?

    You aren't more then that to him. He told you he didn't want anything serious, he isn't going to change his mind.
  • Nov 9, 2009, 04:43 PM
    story-love
    Can you change casual sex into a rel
    I've been seeing this guy ages, and my feelings have gotten really strong for him, he just texts me when he wants to hook up, but I'm not sure how he feels. If I say to him how I feel he might get awkward and just call everything off, but if I don't I might get hurt.
  • Nov 9, 2009, 04:48 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    You have started having feelings, he may or may not of course. But it can never be the same for you, so you have to move on your feelings or it will end anyway

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