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-   -   I feel lonely in my long distance relationship (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=413922)

  • Nov 8, 2009, 10:48 AM
    meganicole
    I feel lonely in my long distance relationship
    Hello,
    My name is Megan, I'm 22, and I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months. I am completely in love with him, and I have never been so happy in a relationship. But, almost two months ago his mother was diagnosed with cancer and he decided to move back home. He now lives four hours away from where we met (at college) and where I still live. The first month that he was away was not bad. He visited for the first time two weeks ago, and since then I have felt so lonely. I constantly want to be on the phone with him, and he's beginning to get frustrated with how demanding I've become. I know I can't keep him on the phone 24/7, but I don't know what to do to feel less lonely without driving him crazy.

    Thank you!
  • Nov 8, 2009, 11:31 AM
    sully123

    Megan, you have to be strong if you want this to work. He moved back home for a reason, his mom having cancer, I applaude him for that. That's a good son. You have to be understanding to him, and not put any pressure on him, if you want your relationship to work, he has enough going on. Go out with your friends while he has moved away to take care of his mother. I don't think he is going anyplace right now, too much deal with. Be patient, and good luck..
  • Nov 8, 2009, 11:41 AM
    amicon

    Yes-be patient and keep busy-dont be clingy and don't just live for the phonecalls.
  • Nov 8, 2009, 12:20 PM
    meganicole

    I have been hanging out with my friends, I'm working on my master's degree, and I also have a part time job. I keep myself pretty occupied. So, it's not that I'm "alone" but that even when I'm at work or in class or out with my friends I feel lonely. I don't know how to feel connected to him without being on the phone. I tried texting him instead of calling him but he doesn't like texting because his thumbs are too fat and he ends up just calling me instead.
  • Nov 8, 2009, 12:22 PM
    paxe

    Start new activities and start volunteering. Try to go out with friends more often and get a bigger social life, it's your time to grow your social network.
  • Nov 8, 2009, 12:42 PM
    jaime90

    I've done long distance (not 4 hours away- but across the country) for 12 months, and was allowed 2 phone calls a week (he's a Marine). Here's what kept me feeling less lonely:
    1.I hung out with friends (Which you say you do- good job!)

    2.I found projects to do (In my free time instead of spending it all worrying about him calling, or me calling him, I made videos on YouTube, I blew up some GI Joes with fireworks, I made some music, I started a writing project... Do something interesting and out of the norm that will make you laugh, and keep your interest while your man is away, doing a very noble thing, by the way... what a gentleman!)

    3.I took up journaling. (Every time I got upset, I would write about it instead of going to my man about it- it helped relieve all the pressure on me, and it helped just get some things off my chest.)

    4.Me and my significant other decided to do something for just us. (Our "thing" was reading the same chapter in the Bible every night. You could go through a book together, and read one chapter every night. Believe me, it helps lonliness when you know that your significant other read over those SAME words that night too.)

    I hope I helped, I've had a lot of experience with long-term relationship, and it can work! After 4 years of knowing each other, a year of being long-distance, and 6 months of NO contact, we are now engaged- so keep your head up, focus on yourself, support your man and his mission instead of clinging to him, and best of luck!

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