I'm 20 years old and got married when I was 19. I'm almost married for a year now. We had a rough start but the more time past, the better it got. Three weeks ago I got a womanly problem... Causing that we couldn't be intimate for a week or so. My husband got grumpy about this and WOULDN'T understand. He didn' even worry about what was going on with my health, he just was angry abvout him not getting "any". He told me it I wouldn't give him any he would have to get it some place else! This made me feel like I'm only good for having sex with and now that - can't I'm not needed anymore... He's not speaking to me, not sleeping next to me (he is sleeping on the couch). This silent treatment has been going on for a week now. - don't know whaty to do? - don't even feel like trying to work things out anymore. How am I suppose to deal with this? I really love him but he is trying his best to hurt me- like not putting on his ring to work... Is it time to end our relationship or will this blow over?

Hello,I wonder if you explained exactly what your health issues was would he be more understanding?

It does sound insenstive however maybe there is just a lack of communication going on?

This is my opinion, but you got married too young. At 19, you don't have enough experience to know what is good to you. Those kind of situations are bound to happen when you rush into a marriage.

Now since you are married, you can't break up. There is going to be a lot of work and troubles relating to a divorce. Talk to him and see if there is a resolution. If not then divorce is the only option.

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Originally Posted by Onbekende

He told me it I wouldn't give him any he would have to get it some place else! ... Is it time to end our relationship or will this blow over?

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For real! If my spouse told me that and wasn't kidding, I would get the car keys and drive them to whomever they thought they wanted and dump their sorry a$$ there. Unbelievable.

It will probably blow over, but why settle for this? Even given your age, this dude doesn't deserve a pet, much less a wife.

What is he, some sort of troglodyte that expects sex on demand? Or is he a 2 year old child? Sounds like he needs a good beating around the head with a piece of 4x2.

One of the big lessons about marriage is that you need to communicate. So, download some articles about your 'womanly' problem' and give them to him to read. Let him know that things happen to us sometimes and that marriage is about flexibility and compromise, not only about his needs.

Ask him why your problem and not having sex for a week distressed him so much. Don't defend yourself, just ask him what his story is. Ask him if he thinks taking off his wedding ring, giving you the silent treatment and sleeping on the couch are reasonable responses to the situation.

I suspect that this is an enormous red flag. How is he going to cope or react when something really serious happens? Be firm and don't put up with this infantile behavior. Unless he grows up real quick you won't last another year.

When there is no respect nor any real communication there is no proper relationship. He sounds like an immature person who cares for nobody but himself.
Ask yourself seriously if this really is what you want longterm.

He treats you that way, because you allow it.

Give him the full graphic detail as to what the problem is. Tell him that you don't appreciate being treated with threats, and if he means what he says, and feels justified in getting sex elsewhere, then tell him to go sleep in somebody else's house.

I'm not so concerned about what he's doing, because you know what it is. What concerns me is that you take it.

And just what problem do you have? Is it your period? He can't cope with your menstral cycle?

Whatever your situation is with your 'womanly problem', he is a far bigger problem.

What is in your favour is that you are young, you don't have children, and starting a new life is a very good alternative for you. Think long and hard about spending your life with a man who behaves so immaturely.

I honestly cannot think of a single man I know that would treat his wife this way.

It sounds like you married a spoiled brat.

Yes, you got married way too young, but that's hindsight, so I won't push that point.

Is he always so childish when he doesn't get his way? How does he treat you? Is he loving at all? Does he treat you like a wife?

He is acting like he does not care at all about your health or discomfort. He needs some sensitivity training, as well as counseling. If he not willing to get this specific help, you need to "put him up for adoption".

While he is acting this way, stop doing all the other things for him. Stop cooking, cleaning, washing his clothes, and even stop talking to him. Do not allow him to treat you this way.

If he is this bad for just a "problem", how is he going to be when, and if ,you get pregnant? WORSE, I can tell you. There will be "dry spells" in the sex department then for sure.

This guy sounds like a tool, a POWER TOOL.

It sounds like he treats you like a sex toy, a receptacle even.

This behavior is totally unacceptable and should not be tolerated for another minute.

I would LOVE to talk to him personally.

Someone needs to clue him in as to the needs, and circumstances involved, in the female anatomy.

So let this brat sleep on the couch, and tell him to pout all he wants.

Until he starts acting like a MAN, treat him like a child.

I would not talk to him. I would have my attorney talk to him. The prospect of alimony for several years ought to be just the spanking this brat needs. Changing the locks might be the right sized hint, until you get to the lawyer.

HAHA!! Kids... Both of you are young...
One of you need to Grow up and maybe even both.

Problem is, he is opening the door for you to be the mature leader of the relationship. And he needs to Man Up.

No need to get divorce over this little issue... He needs you right now to hold it together... The time will come when it is his turn to hold it together...

Enjoy the Process of learning to live together.

I agree - he's a spoiled brat. If he gets that upset about a monthly period, just think what will happen down the road when you have a baby and can't have sex for weeks or have a serious illness. I'd get rid of that immature brat fast! You deserve so much more!

One of the vows he took was in sickness and in health. Maybe you need to remind that vow he said to you in front of witnesses and God. Maybe you can do other things for him that will make him feel needed and wanted. There are different ways of intimacy.

Thor

Really? I have reread your post a couple of times and every time it makes less sense to me.

You acknowledged that you had a rough start. We all do - marriage is a lot of hard work.

So - three weeks ago you got your period - I am assuming this happens every month - so what made this time so difficult for him?
I am left questioning if there is something bigger going on? A missing detail, perhaps?
To cut you off emotionally and just be down right mean... What the heck?

A marriage works when you have communication. Never allow those lines to be closed. Talk to him - even if he is content with giving you the silent treatment - talk to him. Hopefully he will hear you.

I don't think it matters what kind of antics he pulls, he is a very immature spoiled brat. I think what matters is how you deal with it. I always thought you put a child in time out, when he has a hissy fit.

I know if I had a hissy fit, she wouldn't put up with my bad behavior, and I would be sleeping on the porch, making my own lunch, wash my own dirty draws (UGH!), while she would be dressed in her finest and going out without me.

Accepting bad behavior (or childish in this case) will only bring more of the same.