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-   -   I'm in a band do my Lyrics Cut it? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=412794)

  • Nov 4, 2009, 04:55 PM
    drinkmenow8
    I'm in a band do my Lyrics Cut it?
    Hey everyone my name is ian and I am in the band "for the record" Invalid Friend ID band

    I write songs and play drums but I want to know if my lyrics can truly take us to the next level, here is a song we are going to release soon let me know what you guys think.

    "Don't forget"

    Intro verse
    This topic has lost all its luster
    And I'm begging you don't forget <-backups
    All the days when we were younger
    Innocent and not conformed <-B
    So just make me one promise
    Don't ever change <-B
    No don't ever for change

    Main verse
    I thought I was ready
    But life said no you're not
    It's a force to be reckoned with
    And this force has just one plot

    I thought I was hopeless
    I knew I was afraid
    Of how much of this money
    I would be getting paid

    Chorus
    So who are you
    Yea who are you <-B
    You're in disguise
    Think back to your youth

    So who are you
    Yea who are you <-B
    You're innocent now
    Just please tell the truth

    Bridge (heavier sound)
    Fix that hair<-B
    Put on that tie<-B
    Just so you can live a lie
    How did we <-B
    All end up here<-B
    Did we forget <-B
    Did anyone care

    Alt Verse.
    This feelings disrupting your breathing
    Takes your breath away <-B
    From the life you were living
    Left in yesterday<-B
    So do you feel all right (feel all right <-B)
    Do you feel better now

    Chorus
    So who are you
    Yea who are you <-B
    You're in disguise
    Think back to your youth

    So who are you
    Yea who are you <-B
    You're innocent now
    Just please tell the truth



    Let me know
    ~ian
  • Nov 5, 2009, 04:33 AM
    Neelie

    Yeah I'm very much into music, and those lyrics are actually as good as many I've listened to. Just need the right tune to go with them :)
  • Nov 5, 2009, 09:03 AM
    drinkmenow8
    All the backups are a little heavier but not to the point of screaming. Just heavier then the light main vocals.
  • Nov 16, 2009, 08:32 PM
    ty_cohen
    Wow! Those lyrics are VERY good. I honestly don't see anything that needs changed and I really like the meaning of the song.

    I think your listeners would be drawn in by what you are saying, and the fact that this song meant something to you really shows. Once you get it recorded you should give us a preview!
  • Nov 16, 2009, 11:53 PM
    Clough
    Hi, drinkmenow8!

    So, is there actual music that goes with your lyrics, please?

    Thanks!
  • Nov 20, 2009, 04:59 PM
    drinkmenow8
    Yea there will be That song was written because I took an internship in san jose and that song expresses how I feel, that song will be made and recorded probably sometime in January.

    Thanks for the input.

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