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-   -   I met an amazing girl but I scared her off, what to do? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=412770)

  • Nov 4, 2009, 03:05 PM
    Lept6on
    I met an amazing girl but I scared her off, what to do?
    I met this girl at a party about 2 weeks ago, she was dressed as chopper reed, not very flattering, but I liked her straight away. We got along really well, and I took her out to dinner a few days later. We had a great night and made a date for the following week. Everything was going great, but I couldn't stop thinking about her. I went to see her at work(she works at a cafe/clothes store), and she seemed OK with that, she even made me a coffee. Then after she went to a party I asked her if she met anyone... She asked me if I would be upset if she did, so I told her I would and that I liked her a lot...

    Now she doesn't want to see me anymore. She told me that she was recently with someone for a few months and really hurt him and doesn't want it to happen again.

    Now normally I would just walk away, but I've never met anyone like her (im 26). That's why I couldn't leave her alone. I couldn't get her out of my head. Since I met her I've been having trouble sleeping and I think about her ALL the time (I feel like a teenager)... she makes me feel so good when we're together, and she makes me want to improve myself. I've been a bit depressed for a while now, I haven't been exercising or studying properly I haven't been doing the things I enjoy. But she makes me want to live!

    I am planning to go and talk to her, this weekend she is selling her art at a local market. How should I approach it. I think if I try and tell her how I feel I might just scare her further away and make it impossible for anything to ever happen. Should I try and downplay my feelings for her, and tell her that we can just take it slow and see what happens?
  • Nov 4, 2009, 04:03 PM
    redhed35

    Oh my,you really are smitten!

    Slow way way down.. she does not know you... or at least knows very little about you...

    Your going to scare her off.

    Ask her out to lunch after the fair,she might already have plans but don't panic,see can you make a date for the following week,yes a week,let her know you will confirm mid week,and keep it short!

    Do not text or make contact before this.. very important... if she accepts the date keep the whole evening light and fun,get to know her first...

    Its always a good idea to date lots of people so you don't get attached...

    Do not go to her place of work...

    If you have her number make a short call to arrange a date,if she says no,take it on the chin...

    Don't chase her into the ground.
  • Nov 4, 2009, 04:14 PM
    Alty

    Quote:

    she makes me feel so good when we're together, and she makes me want to improve myself. I've been a bit depressed for a while now, I haven't been exercising or studying properly I haven't been doing the things I enjoy. But she makes me want to live!
    You sound really desperate and clingy and I'm sure she sensed that. I'm guessing that she's scared because you're already this way after only one date, how will you be if you two get serious and then break up?

    She's playing it safe and I can't say that I blame her.

    Give her some time. If she wants to see you again then she will. In the meantime, find happiness being alone, don't rely on someone else to make you happy.
  • Nov 4, 2009, 09:43 PM
    lvhol

    I love that you can fall in love so fast but you barly even know this girl mabie see if see might like to go out with you I mean you have a voice and a phone so why not call you got nothing to loss and after the call if it goes well you just might end up with the girl
  • Nov 4, 2009, 11:01 PM
    Alty

    Ivhol.

    Rule number 2, under terms of service, the rules you agreed to when you signed up;

    # Use the best English you are capable of. "Chat speak", all caps, lack of punctuation, etc. can be annoying, and will frequently result in the post being either unanswered or removed.

    No chat speak. This is not a chat site, the people here are from all over the world, often English is their second language, it's hard enough to understand without chat speak, but with it it's impossible.

    Use full words please.

    Thank you.
  • Nov 5, 2009, 08:28 AM
    slapshot_oi
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Lept6on View Post
    I think if i try and tell her how i feel i might just scare her further away and make it impossible for anything to ever happen. Should i try and downplay my feelings for her, and tell her that we can just take it slow and see what happens?

    You got that right, you will scare her away, I've done this, I should know. Keep your distance. If she really wants you, she'll call.

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