:confused: Me and my boyfriend need help. We have been together for 12 years now our relationship has always been good besides some occasional arguments. On October 23rd his dad died and that when the abuse started. Now he is very sexual aggressive we occasional play oral game (please forgive if I'm way to graphic but I need help) but now he'll hold my head down until I'm chocking, puking, and gasping for air. He doesn't seem to even notice me pleading him to stop and doesn't acknowledge what I'm talking about afterwards. I love him with all my heart and don't want to get him in troublr please someone help me.

Im sorry you should probably try to shoe him some evidence off what he;s doing it sounds like he's not doing it on purpose but somewhat unconsciously. Maybe tape him one night and show him what he's doing and try to get him to go to get help.

I really think you need to get this sorted - it doesn't matter how long you've been together - if you feel strong enough about it to call it 'abuse' you yourself know the way he is treating you is clearly not right. And not acknowledging when you try to talk to him about it? This sounds very strange to me, he really needs to seek some kind of counselling. And he should agree with this if he cannot remember doing anything. You need to get help for you -at least- before this escalates. You need to talk to a professional about this. Take care. Keep us posted.

You he's a bastard that, seems like he's taking out his aggression on you

I know you love him, but in this case you and your safety are first priority. Don't keep yourself in an abusive situation. I agree with the other posts that he needs to seek counseling. This can be suggested to him, but if he refuses to get help you need to get out of this relationship. You might think this is just because of the death of his father and it will go away, but what happens when something else bad happens... will it come back only worse than before? Don't keep yourself in a situation where you must walk on glass? What is the fun in that? Talk to him and others that love him. Try to get him help. But like I said if he refuses or help doesn't work then you need to protect yourself and leave.