Hi, 3 years ago I meet the most wonderful girl in the world, we start dating and where together for 2 years.. I wanted to ask her to marry me,but she broke up with me right before I got the chance to ask her, after some time I find out she already was together with her high school boyfriend and wanting to marry him instead, now this summer she got married :(
But after what happened with me and her I'm doing the same to other girls, I have been together with one girl now for 1 year and I manage to 'cheat' on her with a girl that reminded me of my ex :( I feeel so bad for hurting her feelings and all I can think about is to make things good again. Deep in my heart I only want be with the first girl,but I be very happy with the second for very long time.. I'm so confused and lost I don't know what I need to do :(

You need to be on your own.

At least for a while,you need to first heal from your ex before you embark on another relationship...

Remember how you felt when it happened to you,how hurt and unfair the whole situation was... do you really want to do that to someone else? no.

Be on your own.. heal.

I was divorced once and was told to "be on my own" for a while. Well, I didn't, and subsequently got married to someone who was worse than my first spouse. I didn't know what "being on my own" meant. It means, indulging your hobbies--sports, charitible work, neighborhood groups, etc--get to know many people as friends/acquaintances. That way, you get insight into yourself and get the attention you seek. Serial dating is a self-destructive path--trust me, I went down that path, too.

Seems like you have still not gotten over your 'ex'. The reason you like the 'second girl' is because she just reminds you of your ex. So deep down, you still have you ex in your heart.

No worries. Don't feel guilty for that. Humans have a very soft heart and some people make a lasting impression and it can be very very difficult to forget him/her. But there is hope. :)

First start with the mission of COMPLETELY getting over your ex. Remind yourself time and again that she is married now. You don't want to be thinking about another man's wife, do you? Do what you like. Hobbies, catching up with old friends, boys only party, helping poor (Helping someone in need is a real joy you know?), working/ studying hard, trying to be top in whatever you do... Just do what it makes to get you back on track. :):)

I understand that advices are very very great, but very hard to implement. But make an effort to do it. Its for your good only.:p

Once you have gotten over your ex, and your mind is clear.. then sit and really think over whom you really want. Please don't make rash commitments. Ask yourself 1000 times you who really want... I am sure you'll get the answer. Human mind can get very confused if we deal it on the surface level. You really need to ask yourself very very deep questions to find out what your heart really wants. Once you are clear, you can pursue your heart's desires.


I usually submit my feelings to God when I am confused or desperate. When I do so and give it time, a clear answer will come over time. You can may be try it.

Will be praying for you. TC ;) :p

You can't spend the rest of your life hurting others to avenge a hurt that was done to you.It simply won't happen.

Your hurt is only compounded by your sense of guilt.

I agree that you need to get to know YOU,without the benefit or comfort that others can give.

Only when you are a whole person who likes them self and knows what you want in life and love will be you ready for a mature healthy relationship.

Work on YOU and the rest will fall into place.

Know that the only person who can "complete" you is you!

Just remember that all the other girls out there, that are NOT the one who hurt you,and have done nothing what-so-ever, to be treated with anything less than respect and love. They didn't break your heart.

Remember " do unto others...".

Love gives us our highest highs, and lowest lows. You're just at a low point right now.

Find someone you can trust, and get on with your life. Life is too short to dwell.

It's simply not healthy to walk around with a grudge on your shoulder. You'll end up being a bitter, lonely, old man.

I wish you the best.