Ask Me Help Desk - Messed up and don't know how/what I can do.

Messed up and don't know how/what I can do.

I'm 17 in high school. Recently moved from new York to somewhere else.

Here goes:

Me and this girl met in kindergarten. We were best friends until I moved in 6th grade. Every summer I went up to visit friends and family. We always chilled when I came up. 2 summers ago me her and two other friends were hanging out. Me and her were kissing and then before I left she told me she loved me and I said it back because I really do love her. But the next day we were chillin with another one of her friends and her friend was all over me. We kissed (big mistake).now this girl told me she loved me. I couldn't resist her because she had more curves than the girl I told I loved. (I know I'm a retard). So the next day I call her and she ignores. So I go over her house and she's crying. I couldn't do anything so I sat there and just held her. Eventually she told me to leave. I messed up big time. Now I can't stop thinking about this girl and I really just want to be with her. I love her. I feel like crap for what I did. I want her back. I haven't stopped thinking about her. I really love her and I really need help.

Please someone I'm desperate.:(

You messed up she told you to leave and you re going to have to accept that. See it as a learning experience.

You messed up telling both of the girls you loved them when you only loved one of the girls. Understand she founded out that you kissed the girl and she is hurt. So give her space. Just because she told you to leave means she is upset and don't know what to do.

Next time think with your big head, not the little one.

You messed up, use this to learn from as you need to learn self control

Watch who you kiss, and say the "L" word to.

Guys can be pretty stupid !
So she had bigger curves??
You have hurt and caused pain on the girl you do love so I am sure you are well aware of how actions have consequences!
Def a lesson learned here!
At the moment the girl will be feeling confused and hurt and be going threw a mixture of emotions one of these will be anger toward you.

I think the only solution you have to stay away and give this girl the breathing space she will be needing right now to give her time to deal with her feelings.

I guess time will tell if you messed up!

Mum, while I agree with your statement, please don't generalize. Girls can be just as stupid at times as well

You'r 17 you need to grow up and start viewing relationships more serious.In your post you made yourself sound like a gradeschooler playing on the playground.

Do you love me?

( ) yes ( ) no

Check one

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamie1234567891

I'm 17 in high school. Recently moved from new York to somewhere else.

here goes:

Me and this girl met in kindergarten. we were best friends until i moved in 6th grade. every summer i went up to visit friends n family. we always chilled when i came up. 2 summers ago me her and two other friends were hanging out. me n her were kissing and then before i left she told me she loved me and i said it back because i really do love her. but the next day we were chillin with another one of her friends and her friend was all over me. we kissed (big mistake).now this girl told me she loved me. i couldn't resist her because she had more curves than the girl i told i loved. (i know I'm a retard). so the next day i call her and she ignores. so i go over her house n shes crying. i couldn't do anything so i sat there n just held her. eventually she told me to leave. i messed up big time. now i can't stop thinking about this girl and i really just wanna be with her. i love her. i feel like crap for what i did. i want her back. i haven't stopped thinking about her. i really love her n i really need help.

please someone I'm desperate.:(

For clarification:

1) You are currently 17 years old.
2) You don't live in the same place. She lives in New York and you live 'someplace else'.
3) You visit New York during the summers since you moved.
4) TWO (2) summers ago is when the mess occurred?
5) You have been pining for this girl for how long?
6) Did you mean two months ago during the summer?
7) Did the 'mistake' happen in front of the girl you care about?

I don't think you will ever regain her trust. You knew her for years before the relationship progressed to stronger feelings. You knew the other girl for how many hours before you told her that you love her? The mistake happened not even 36 hours after you professed your love to the first girl?

This is an extremely hard lesson to learn, but at least you are learning it now and not when STD's or possible children are involved.

Wow... no help at all... all I get is crap about messing up...

And sorry if it sounded like I told the second girl I loved her but I didn't and yes I did do this in front of the first girl.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamie1234567891

wow...no help at all ... all i get is crap about messing up....

and sorry if it sounded like i told the second girl i loved her but i didnt and yes i did do this in front of the first girl.

When did all this happen?

Whether you told the second girl you love her is beside the point when you kissed her in front of the girl you "love" the day after you told her that you love her.

You may not like the advice, but, unfortunately, from what you said there isn't much we can say.

Are there any facts that you haven't given us?

Other than telling the second girl, "I love you", did I miss anything else that needs clarifying?

Yeah you screwed up, but leave her alone for a while, and see if she gets over it, if she doesn't you do the right thing for yourself, learn your lesson and don't make that mistake again. There are no magic words to make it better, stop looking and suck it up and know better next time. She probably set you up to have an excuse to be mad.

Quote:

but the next day we were chillin with another one of her friends and her friend was all over me.

Tell me, what kind of friend makes out with her friends boyfriend in front of her friend? <SET UP>

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamie1234567891

wow...no help at all ... all i get is crap about messing up....

and sorry if it sounded like i told the second girl i loved her but i didnt and yes i did do this in front of the first girl.

Dude,these people took time ,thought and energy to respond to your post and this is what you say in return.you should be ashamed again GROW UP.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamie1234567891

wow...no help at all ... all i get is crap about messing up....

and sorry if it sounded like i told the second girl i loved her but i didnt and yes i did do this in front of the first girl.

Hi, How can you not expect the reactions you are getting. You did this in front of the first girl. That is so insensitive. Oh, are we being insensitive?

Here is something you can try but you have to remember that there are no strings or expectations involved.

1) send flowers.. don't say I love you just say thinking of you.

2) send a day or 2 later a hand written letter. No text speak but a true letter and tell her that you apllogize for acting like a pig etc and tell her your feelings.

If you receive no reply within 2 weeks then go with the no contact direction and consider it over forever.

Other then those 2 attempts do nothing else to contact her and be prepared to move on. Some things just can't be forgiven.

I would be curious to know if she is still friends with this girl.