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-   -   Dumped by text after 3.5 years (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=411152)

  • Oct 30, 2009, 08:26 AM
    sunflower34
    Dumped by text after 3.5 years
    Last night I received a text to say its over after 3.5 years! Both mid 20's n his not ready for commiment! Says there's no one else, what the hell do I do? I'm still in love with him :(
  • Oct 30, 2009, 08:28 AM
    kctiger

    Guess you know his true character. Would you honestly want to stay with someone who is classy enough to dump you via text? While it does suck, I think it is better to find out now what kind of person he really is. Wonder if he was intoxicated... :cool:
  • Oct 30, 2009, 08:29 AM
    kappachino

    Good grief - how callous! Not enough information to advise I think, but sorry it was done that way! Take care
  • Oct 30, 2009, 08:31 AM
    I wish

    It's very fresh in your mind right now, so it's definitely a traumatizing experience.

    Just take a few steps back and let this sink in before worrying about what to do. Just focus on yourself right now and not worrying about him.
  • Oct 30, 2009, 08:33 AM
    sunflower34

    No he wasn't, nearly wish he was, he says his felt this way for weeks, but yet the had his booty calls, he says he was too upset to tel me to my face arrrhhh
  • Oct 30, 2009, 08:35 AM
    Ithappenstoall

    This is indeed a horrible way to end a long term relationship, I read somewhere also about someone being fired in the same manner , I can't believe people are so cold sometimes they don't even have the smallest sense of decency.
    What you need to do is try not to think about him right and try and stay busy. I know it hurts but all you can do right now is to think of yourself and just try not to over think it .

    Come here always to vent, it has helped me a lot and I am sure it will help you :)
  • Oct 30, 2009, 08:36 AM
    amicon
    You grieve, cut your losses and thank your lucky stars you re rid of the immature so and so. Midtwenties? Many teenagers are more mature than that-dumping by text-how low can you get? Read the stickies at the top of the relationship page,there s lots of good advice there.
  • Oct 30, 2009, 08:51 AM
    sunflower34
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by sunflower34 View Post
    last night i recieved a text to say its over after 3.5 years!! ! both mid 20's n his not ready for commiment! says theres no one else, wat the hell do i do? im still in love with him :(

    he says his still in love with me and that its really hard for him, that he would rather do it now instead of 2yrs later on down th road!
  • Oct 30, 2009, 08:56 AM
    Ithappenstoall

    That is ridiculous, if you love someone why don't you want to be with that person. I am sorry but I have to say that he is only messing with your head.
  • Oct 30, 2009, 09:00 AM
    amicon
    You need to focus on yourself now not his immature behaviour. You must be in shock and I hope you have friends and family to keep you company and to talk to.
  • Oct 30, 2009, 09:10 AM
    Jake2008
    If his fingers work, and obviously they do, he sent a text, then why couldn't he have phoned, emailed, wrote out a letter. Anything would have been better than a text. That is so lazy, immature, and selfish.

    But it does not change the fact that he broke up with you.

    While the shock has knocked you on your derrierre, and the anger at the method he used to tell you makes you angry, he has made it very clear, in a cold calous way, that the relationship is over.

    It is not a fault, or a mistake necessarily when relationships are done. It is just the end of the relationship, and clearly it is time to move on.

    I hope that in the not too distant future, you will be able to reflect on the type of person he turned out to be, and be thankful that it ended.
  • Oct 30, 2009, 10:07 AM
    redhed35
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by sunflower34 View Post
    last night i recieved a text to say its over after 3.5 years!! ! both mid 20's n his not ready for commiment! says theres no one else, wat the hell do i do? im still in love with him :(

    I would have thought 3.5 years was quite a commitment!

    What's done is done...

    Its up to you now how to proceed..

    Take some time to get over the shock,and if he does call,which he probably will at some stage,decide by then what it is your going to do.

    The list of you things you can say and do is endless,but how you deal with your hurt and any backlash from the breakup will greatly effect your healing process..

    As hard as it will be to try and do,think with your head.. not your heart.

    Your heart is broken right now,don't use it!

    Use your head.

    Just one more thing... you can't make someone want you or love you,if its over for him,then its over,and I suggest no contact if that is truly the case.
  • Nov 1, 2009, 05:39 AM
    talaniman

    Your in shock, as any one would be after a break up, especially one so cruelly done, so let the shock wear off so you can think things thru.

    Leave him alone until the dust settles, and I think as you slowly come to accept his cowardice you will be glad your free.

    That comes later though, as you deal with the pain with friends and activities you enjoy and the support of friends and family.

    Sorry for your loss, but it will get better.

    Please fight the urge to curse him out, even though he deserves it.

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