My story is long' so ill keep it as short as possible' me and my girlfriend were togever for 2 years' 4 month's ago she decided to end our realationship' as she said she was going back to collage and really didt have the time anymore' we both cut contact and after a month' I contacted her and asked her to meet up' we had a long talk and at the end of the talk' I asked her if we could give it another go' and she told me that it isn't what she wants anymore' as much as I did't like what I heard I agreed with her decision' and we went our separate ways' after a while it was really getting to me' and I contacted her again' we went for a meal and had a talk again' and I asked her once again can we have a go again' and the answer was yet again no' basiacly the same thing carried on' and after a while I found out she was seeing someone else' which really hurt me' to cut my story short as all this was going on' we were still meeting up now and then and even sleeping with each other' but she never took me back as her boyfriend' up too 3 week ago I cut contact again' and Saturday gone' I contacted her inviting her to mine for a drink' we both ended up getting drunk and sleeping togever' then Monday gone I ended up staying over at her house' I had a long talk with her and yet again asked her if we could get back togever' but this time she told me to give her some time and space top see what she really wants' and I was delighted at the fact she didn't say no' the next day she came to mine in her car and we went for takeaway food and sat in her car and talked and got on really well' she told me she had to go' as she was going clubbing and need to go home and get ready' the too people she went clubbin with are friends of mine' and I asked her is tom going' which is the guy she's been seeing and she said no' so I believed her' tonight I found out through a friend this guy did actuly go' so for whatever reason' she lied to me' I was very dissapointed she lied to me' and maybe thought I wouldn't find out' what I want to know is' is she just using me for when it suit's her' or is she maybe confused in what she wants' or who she wants' as I really don't know what to do for the best anymore' as I really love her' and want thing's to work out for the best.. any advise id appreciate 'thanks :)

Hello Danny,

Yes Danny, it sounds to me that she is using you! I'm sorry to be so blunt.. As I was reading your post, I saw that you mentioned cutting things off. Then I see okay you contacted her once, then twice, then a third time. You are making yourself out to be a fool in so many ways.

My advice to you is to move on. I am usually the advocate of relationships, but I see that you my friend, are doing wrong by contacting her, over and over again. Do not contact her anymore. She is no good for you. You need, deserve someone who will treat you with respect and care for you.

You are making yourself way to convenient for her. I see a pattern that's not going to change. Deep down I believe that you know she is being hurtful and using you, or else you wouldn't be asking us. So please know that this is not the girl for you. The right one is out there. Good luck.

You re not in a relationship anymore. She s keeping you as a fallback guy in case she decides she needs one. Your choice is either to hang around forever and accept the crumbs she throws you OR you can make up your mind to get your life back by NOT contacting her. If you choose option two will heal from the breakup and you can move on to have more loving relationships in the future. Don't stay stuck in limbo, it's not a good place to be.

1) You've become her booty call.

2) You've become her backup plan in case it doesn't work out with other guys.

3) You've become obsessed with winning her back.

4) Even if she takes you back how do you know she won't run off with a third guy?

5) Even if she takes you back, how do you know she won't lie to you again?

There's so much insecurity. Leave her alone and go your separate ways. But this time, stick with that decision. Every time you cave in and contact her again, you will reset all the progress you've made and prolong the suffering.

Talaniman rules- When you get dumped, why go back, and get dumped again.

Don't see how you can feel used when you kept coming back for more. How many times does she say its over, and I'm not coming back? It should only take once.

Especially when she started seeing another guy, you still persisted in contacting her.

When you break up, she can zoom whomever she wants, its no longer your business. You just have not accept her change in mind, and quit chasing, so don't be hurt now when she has a life beside you.

Yes, she is is using you and it appears you are using NC as a weapon, no contact is a healing tool, for you. You need to stop doing what you are doing and stick to the NC.


You are a booty call and nothing more