I live in Kansas and I am soon to be the mother of a baby girl, however my significant other is not the biological father of my child, I need to know what steps to take to make it possible for him to be her father. My situation is this: I got pregnant one night by a man that I knew little or nothing about in a different state, I have no way to contact him to have him sign his rights over. I do not know how to get a hold of him at all and didn't know if I had to or if this can just be bypassed in the adoption process, the man I am with now has been with me since I've been pregnant and looks at my daughter as his own, I would just like to know how to make his dream come true? I've read every where that he cannot just sign the birth certificate at birth and it be taken care of I want this to be legal and final and need some help with where to look and who to contact...

I'm a concerned mommy who doesn't know what to do??

First, please pay more attention to posting guidelines. There is a Read First sticky at the top of the Adoption forum (where this was moved from) which refers legal questions to this forum.

You need to consult an attorney. The attorney will tell you what steps you can take to show a good faith effort to contact the father to get him to relinquish. If you make this effort and he doesn't respond, the court should let your significant other adopt. However, you may have to wait until you are married. Again the attorney can tell you that.

First how long have you and this person been married? In some states the husband is considered the father by default.

Also most US states ( not all) will require you to be married and many married for one year.

Now the issue here is it is goig to cost a lot more since you can't get hold of the father, since an attempt will have to be made to the courts satisfaction and if not found, publication in the newspaper will have to be made.

So your first stop will be a family law attorney to get it all started

Usually you get married before even thinking of adopting. Also your going to have to try very hard to find the father. How old is the child ? Was the father ever told that he may have had a child with you ?

ScottGem agrees: Umm reread the OP "Soon to be mother..." ;)


Sheesh.. details details.. lol

Thanks.