I was dating my boyfriend for a few months and everything was great. He decided to move away to another province and I would eventually move there too. I kept asking him on msn when he was far away in europe visiting family if he knew what we were going to do, and he kind of brushed things off. He always said he loved me and misses me, and he is a very well trusted and nice person. He said maybe we should be friends because we live so far away. I got mad and went out with friends and although we were informally dating again( a week later), I allowed a guy I met at the bar to come over for a drink. It got to making out between us and almost sex but I stopped it. Anyway I told my boyfriend and he simply said its over. He still says he loves me, talks to me, and wants me to go visit him if I choose. I don't know what to do. I want to be with him, but is there anything I can do to have him trust me again? I am not a cheater and have never done anything like this before. He really is an awesome guy and I am pretty sure he hasn't cheated on me because of who he is, and how he was with me. Ive dated some badnews guys before. I know it sounds like he doesn't care, but he says that he loves me but we couldn't work out long term, because sometimes I am "mean" to him. He also says that he still loves me and everyone can be mean... I don't know. Should I give up? Does he love me but want to move on? Is he testing to see how much I love him and if I will make an effort to visit him? Thanks

Well... you say you are not a cheater but what did you go and do behind your boyfriends back... cheat :cool:

Its going to be very hard to gain his trust back esp that he moved away.

Maybe you could go visit and explain, these things can't be done over a call.

I have had the same thing happen to me and let me tell you it takes a long time for someone to trust you again. You just have to show him that you love him and you didn't mean what you did. Trust me on this one I have had people hate me so much that they told me they wanted to slit my throat and what did they do? They forgave me no one has that much hatred in them unless they're dead inside. You should never give up on something you believe in or love have faith in him.

Blondie, not sure if this is what you want to hear... I think it's over. I think when he "kind of brushed things off..." he was sort of trying to tell you that. I think that when he told you "we couldnt work out long term, because sometimes I am "mean" to him..." that he was saying, it's over. If it can't work out long term, what's the point. You were with another guy cause he suggested you guys should be friends, nothing wrong with that... but, he still got angry, or did he? Is it possible he used that as an excuse to break things off?? Maybe it was easier to make you the bad guy.

So, now he lives in another provence, he's brushing off your questions, he suggested you be friends... he didn't move and beg you to come with him did he? He is acting like he doesn't care, it doesn't matter that he says he loves you, it's his actions that count. Move on and don't contact him anymore. If he suddenly misses you, I mean REALLY misses you(and he won't miss you if you don't keep that distance between you), than let him prove it. Remember that song,. "ain't no mountain high enough...ain't no valley low enough...", he should be telling you as often as he can that he loves you and misses you, he should be visiting you frequently, and it doesn't sound like he is. Leave him alone, move on, and see if he meant those things he said. Time will tell.

What the hell? He didn't cheat on me... he dumped me said lets be friends... then said he wanted me again... and I kissed a guy! I was in the wrong, but who cares he only wanted to be friends. So what its over. I'm over it is there anyway I can block you skell because you are annoying right or not, you're annoying. I have listened to people give me advice I don't like and I've said thank you for it. But your advice is just annoying.

To be honest this guy sounds like a typical player. He had no intention of taking you with him and probably knew before you got together that he was going to be moving. Its not a decision that you make over night. I hate to sound harsh but you were just convient for him. I would not even upset yourself over him.

I think you knew this deep mdown already which is why you alllowed a different guy to come to your house for a drink and to be fair you have no reason to feel guilty. Forget this guy and move forward. You don't need guys like him in your life!

My apologies. No need to block me.
Ill unsubscribe from your thread.

But don't send me PM's like you have because you don't like the advice I offer others on their threads. If you disagree use the Rate this Answer function available. Don't PM me like you have been. Im not interested.

I hope you, your daughter and the man you plan to ask to marry you have a great life.

Bye!

BlondieinCAN - Please don't take your frustration out on Skell he like everyone is offering advice based on their own experiences. He is only trying to help just like the rest of us!

My daughter? I don't have a daughter. I don't plan on asking any guy to marry me either, I've been asked! You keep getting everything wrong. I only pm you because I'm new to this and thought that was what to do. I didn't know so don't judge.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/parent...ead-41205.html

So what is this thread about?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...ady-41204.html

And this one?

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Originally Posted by DJ 'H'

BlondieinCAN - Please don't take your frustration out on Skell he like everyone is offering advice based on their own experiences. He is only trying to help just like the rest of us!

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Thanks Holly.

I really don't try to sound negative and I think in most threads I'm not. But this is just such a mess and it seems like she needs to here reality. Not what's he wants to hear! Which is what so many people that come here want! To be told everything will be fine and rosy.

Doesn't work like that!

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Originally Posted by blondieinCAN

my daughter? i dont hav a daughter. i dont plan on asking any guy to marry me either, ive been asked!! you keep getting everything wrong. i only pm you bc im new to this and thought that was what to do. i didnt know so dont judge.

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Sorry. Your son!
I got confused. I do apologise.

I am only trying to help. Not argue!

I just expect honest advice and to be told how it is. What is the point of giving false hope and advice to people - its wrong!

This thread was not written today I am now not dating the guy and I used the good advice! Thanks everyone... before you go skell and read all my questions to see how they relate, why don't you realise not all questions are connected or the way you think they should be. I asked about marriage so what?

Skell stop helping me okay? Thanks and all of you that say he doesn't care or he does whatever thank you. I don't mind the truth I just personally do not like how skell talks to me 20 times today and relates my posts about my kid (unrelated to this topic) to this question. God forbid get a life

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Originally Posted by Meggx7

i have had the same thing happen to me and let me tell you it takes a long time for someone to trust you again. You just have to show him that you love him and you didn't mean what you did. Trust me on this one i have had people hate me so much that they told me they wanted to slit my throat and what did they do? they forgave me no one has that much hatred in them unless they're dead inside. You should never give up on something you believe in or love have faith in him.

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You know what Meggx7... YES people can forgive but don't tell me people forget :cool: so how can you tell me any relationship will be 100% satisfying and back to happy normal status after breaking ones trust...

I personally think you should move on.

A few months is kind of early to think about following a guy across country, as you barely know him. It would be better to move on since that's what he wants anyway. You can only get honest advice when you give honest information. There are a lot of us who do go back and check other post that have been made by you. Just be honest. Don't be mad at Skell, check what you do.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by blondieinCAN

I was dating my boyfriend for a few months and everything was great. He decided to move away to another province and I would eventually move there too. I kept asking him on msn when he was far away in europe visiting family if he knew what we were going to do, and he kind of brushed things off. He always said he loved me and misses me, and he is a very well trusted and nice person. He said maybe we should be friends because we live so far away. I got mad and went out with friends and although we were informally dating again( a week later), I allowed a guy I met at the bar to come over for a drink. It got to making out between us and almost sex but I stopped it. Anyway I told my boyfriend and he simply said its over. He still says he loves me, talks to me, and wants me to go visit him if I choose. I dont know what to do. I want to be with him, but is there anything I can do to have him trust me again? I am not a cheater and have never done anything like this before. He really is an awesome guy and I am pretty sure he hasnt cheated on me because of who he is, and how he was with me. Ive dated some badnews guys before. I know it sounds like he doesnt care, but he says that he loves me but we couldnt work out long term, because sometimes I am "mean" to him. He also says that he still loves me and everyone can be mean.... i dont know. Should I give up? Does he love me but want to move on? Is he testing to see how much I love him and if i will make an effort to visit him? Thanks

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I no you love this man, but it is time to move on, you done a mistake but that in a way could have been helpful because of I'm living to far away I think it would have been a wise dession to brake it off. If I was you I would just stay good friends on the internet tell him your sorry and think it would be best to stay friends and move on! You never know maybe go on holiday with some friends up towards where he lives and you could have a good friendly chat! Xx good luck