Well I don't have time to date anyone practically. So for the last 7 months I have been trying e-datin. So, there was this girl whom I really like and was with her for like 2 months when I screwed it all up and she dumped me. I was really sorry for what I did but she wouldn't forgive me. I thought I had to move on so I dated this another girl and she's the sweetest thing to ever happen in my life and we are together for the last three months. The problem is that after all this time my ex wants me back! Since I haven't yet met both of them I don't think I'm in love with either of them but I like both of them. Ppl with experiences help me.. does e-datin work? They are both from the USA and I'm from Australia! And I won't be able to go to the states for another two years.Both of them thinks that's not a problem. Should I get back with my ex? If yes what should I say to my present girlfriend?

I think there is a problem inherent with e-dating and that is that everyone has a different perception of what a relationship is. Have you talked to either of these girls on the phone, seen pics etc? The internet is always an interesting way to meet people. You can be anyone you want on the internet and it requires a large amount of trust that often times is given away too quickly.

E-dating works but I think it works best by at least talking to girls in your area, or at least your country. I live in the USA and I would be extremely cautious about trying to date a person from another country over the internet. I don't think you see that too often.

The lines of communication are clearly blurred here and in my eyes, I would probably leave them both alone and shoot for something a little more realistic. Just my opinion.

So its like a pen pal?

Australia is a big country,surely you have not exhausted every dating possibility there!

Have you?

You don't have time to date in real time,but you have time to develop a friendship on line?

Surely that must take sometime and effort?

Instead of hugging a computer screen and worrying about a girl who you won't see for 2 years,maybe... why not try the real thing?

Try to find someone in your area

You have to understand, online dating is not serious. It can be, sure. But this is all infatuation, just feeling, and heck maybe sometimes down the road you'll have feeling for another girl and you'll be stuck between 3. Feelings come and go and I know its hard to give up on people you have feelings for because you don't want to go through that "break up pain". But you have to ask yourself, what are you getting out of this? Do I really know them? Is this worth raking my brain over enough to post this here? People sometimes have strong feelings for people they haven't met online and than once they do, the passion might not be there in preson. Or it may. Ur just excited, infatuated, thinking of the possibilites when your dating online. I think in my opinion, the mature thing would be to just have a casual relationship as friends and keep in touch with both. Because honestly wats the difference? You still talking to them. Nothing has changed. Its not like you see them or do stuff or know them in person (which is a whole different experience ina relationship. To be able to spend time, cherish that silence etc.). Online dating, especially when far can be dangerous in a way because you get so wrapped and really start to care that you loose what you regularly used to do. And most importantly, you loose touch with reality. The real thing starts to feel akward and you'll be new to the game all over again. You don't go out as much etc. Eventually your going to be ending up with a person that's there, not a computer screen. I know you said you don't love them but your going in that path. If you spend a lot of time in a "relationship" with these people and it doesn't play to your cards, their not how they seem, or you might never meet them, you'll have wasted your time and have gotten really hurt. Its better to let go now and suck up the pain than to be damaged at the end. If you don't have time for a relationship than don't have one yet. Its as if you just need someone because your not doing anything and going out with them but you just have them to know you have them. In that case find someone who fits your time shedule, or take a break, but don't take this seriously to have to worry and ask this. (just my opinion)

That was beautiful couldn't have put it better myself

Internet chatting is fine, internet dating, not so much.

The internet is a great place for scammers, pedophiles and many other people that you probably wouldn't want to meet in real life.

Try meeting a girl face to face, so you can develop a real relationship, one that has substance and one that can move forward. Right now you're running around in circles.

You're busy, but if you have time to type, you have time to date. Just get out there, find a real girl, not just one on a computer monitor.

If you can afford to visit one another every month or at least every few months, online dating may work, but no ever seeing each other for years, no, move on to someone local

In some ways I think that e-dating replaces the old fashioned letter writing. Way back when, when young men were off to war, communication was through letters, and not very often. So many marriages took place; war brides moved to new countries with men they barely knew, new lives were started together.

Now we have instant communication, webcams to actually see a person across the world in real time, and there is no 'distance' that is too great.

Initially, because people have to communicate, the written, or typed sentences, and information exchanged between the two parties, is maybe more than a typical first date, face to face. At least when you do meet up with your e-date, you have a (usually) long history of getting to know each other, without the usual encumbrances of first date awkwardness, long pauses, and spinnach stuck on your front tooth.

In other words, an impression is made online. If it is a good impression, you can go further, talk more, get to know the person, and be far more comfortable with that person because you already know their likes, dislikes, etc. If the impression is poor, or communication is difficult, you will know almost instantly, and poof, it's over.

I personally think it is a safe way to meet and learn about each other. The only thing missing is the face to face, but when that happens, it will be far more natural than having no information or history between the two parties.

As to being dumped by the first girl. Well, she dumped you, you moved on. It is up to you to go down that road again, or see what comes of girl #2. Personally, I don't think it is ever a good idea to go backwards. What's done is done, let it go.

This is what I know.

I love my friends on line.I do.

My friends here and my friends on my art site.

I remember when my eldest son met a girl and was hooking up with her I thought it was crazy.I said you can't possibly know who she is .

I take that back now. Because I love so many people :)

Maybe we can't even lie on line and we are forced to be who we.
Maybe we are who we are a little easier because we don't have that face to face... that makes people cower.
I 'm not a cowerer but I feel for people who are.

Bottom line,be smart and cover your own back,you can still love :)

I have to spread the love Artsy but I agree.

There is a difference though. Being friends with people online and trying to establish a romantic relationship, two different things.

Friends have no reason to lie, but possible partners, well, they do that in real life, it's just easier on the net.

That's my take on it anyway. I just hear so many stories of internet predators and people lying on dating sites, I'd be wary.

Now, all of you, my friends, the people I adore, I have no qualms about that. :)

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

I have to spread the love Artsy but I agree.

There is a difference though. Being friends with people online and trying to establish a romantic relationship, two different things.

Friends have no reason to lie, but possible partners, well, they do that in real life, it's just easier on the net.

That's my take on it anyway. I just hear so many stories of internet predators and people lying on dating sites, I'd be wary.

Now, all of you, my friends, the people I adore, I have no qualms about that. :)

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We have to open this up for discussion.
You raised a good point.
I like it :) That a girl ,

There are long lasting marriages and here from on line meeting and there are success stories,and there are friendships where you cry and You love and its real!!

I can't stand when I hear the net looked at as a Bad thing,

I have seen the nastiness.
I have seen the best and that is where I hang out at .

I believe in the power of prayer.
I believe that when I have asked my friends to pray for me,hay sompin happens good :cool:

Hay baby there's a change a coming!

The net is both good and bad. It is what you make it, sadly many people make it a bad thing.

There is tons of info on the net, everything at your fingertips, but I've seen info that is dead on wrong and that's a scary thing if that's what you're relying on.

I've belonged to other sites like this and I have to say, none of them compare. The other sites are poorly run, people get away with everything and anything. I admit that there are times when I'd really like to swear at someone, but I'm not allowed, that's what makes this site what it is.

The people here are wonderful caring people. Those that aren't don't last long. This isn't the norm, AMHD is the exception to the rule, at least in my experience.

I wouldn't want to date someone that I can't talk to face to face, that I can't hold. There's something about physical contact, and I'm not talking about sex, that matters in a relationship, IMO.

That's my 2 cents. :)

Too much of anything is as bad as not enough. To put ALL your eggs in this on line dating thing is crazy. There has to be a balance with the online world, and the real one, just to keep yourself real, and for a healthy perspective of YOUR world.

There's nothing wrong with online dating, as long as you meet the person in a decent amount of time. I talked to my ex online for about a week before we met. We met on a dating site. We lived an hour and a half from each other so it was a semi-long distance relationship, but we still saw each other every weekend for the most part. But if you haven't even met either of them yet, you can't even know what they're truly like, if you even have a connection with them at all.

I'm glad I asked the question here. Thanks to you all.It was a great help getting advices from wise people like you. I'm feeling much better. I realised it was time that I get back to reality.I'm still talking to them but as I've been told I'm just waiting for my time now. As of now I've to get back to work. Thank you again!

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Originally Posted by secret234

That was beautiful couldnt have put it better myself

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Thank you! :)