I have this probem for years, if I meet someone and this person liked me and want to go out with me I give them my phone # to get to know them but then I got scared that if I go out with them they are not going to like me like they did when I met them by accident so I creat execused to not to see them again, I know I am scared of rejection after acceptance , my question is how do I let go of that fear and start dating like other people till I find the one, I do not go out at all although I have many guys I could call to take me out but I do not have the courage to face them and see if they still like me or they are going to continue liking me

Well look at thier body signs.

If the 'dudes' turn toward you with full attention,

then you know if they still like you as a friend.

Fear....hhmm... fear can be removed.

Take time to think what you gonna do.

Try on someone you really know.

All i gotta say is face it.

This is the real world.( Not to be mean or nothing.)

Peace!

Hoped i helped!

OK gansada, u said if they face me with full attention that means they just want to be friends, but how would I know they like me as agirlfriend

Well if they like your as a girl-friend then they will make eye contact with you.

They will try to apporch you in a certain way that you body will notice.

Like the 'dude' will move his move toward you and line up so they can get a better look at you.

Peace!

Hoped i helped

Thank u gansada

You need some serious counselling dear, as there is no magic formula to overcome fear. The definition of courage is to act despite being fearful. You need courage.

The trick to this is to remember we all are or have been scared just like you. This isn't like in the Wizard of Oz where you can be awarded some courage from a black bag.

Years ago I used to do a very silly thing as a result of that same fear you described so well. I created an "act", a mask to hide behind, thinking it would be better to show everyone that instead of the real me in case they rejected me. Funny thing was... when my "act" wasn't liked or was rejected, I was just as hurt as if it had been the real me. LOL What a waste of time and effort! So I threw away the mask, showed the real me and learned to tolerate some people not liking or even approving of me. It happens but I have learned it is a very survivable event. So you can put up with living inside the vicious circle of fear you have constructed or you can get out there, mix it up, learn a few things along the way and discover how likable you are and by whom!

Rejection can be a powerful thing... If you let it...

What you have to think is if they don't like you, so what? It's them missing out, you know how good you are and how much love you can give... It's there loss, not yours, the right person will come along, but you can't be afraid to go on a date or what not with the person... They will have the fear of YOU not liking THEM as well.

<3 Peace <3

Thank you guys, I really needed to hear something deep to help me with this fear I know every one has it but like you said talaniman I know this needs counceling, valinors I love your advice because it is exactly what I am doing , u know what I do if a guy likes me I start telling him that let's go out to find him a girlfried and for me a boyfriend even if I like him , I just do not want to be rejected so I reject before anything happen, I can not stand being in pain and waiting for the love I am looking for to love me back and care for me I am a very caring person and I would like someone care for me like I would for them, basically I did not want to be an idiot waiting for someone to love me , that is all because I know when I like some one I expect too much from them and I do not know how to balance that to be able to let go and let my emotions out and not being scared ,what I am doing up to now it is not working for me I am single and unhappy every one think I might be a lesbian because a lot of guys like me but I am not in a relationship, thank you gazzy, you are absolutely right, they might be scared too, I just have to have this idea that they are scared too deep in my head , I just think every one is strong and I am the only weak one , I am waiting for your posts you all are very helpful, THANK YOU

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Originally Posted by nadia999

i have this probem for years, if i meet someone and this person liked me and want to go out with me i give them my phone # to get to know them but then i got scared that if i go out with them they r not going to like me like they did when i met them by accident so i creat execused to not to see them again, i know i am scared of rejection after acceptence , my question is how do i let go of that fear and start dating like other people till i find the one, i do not go out at all although i have many guys i could call to take me out but i do not have the courage to face them and see if they still like me or they r going to continue liking me

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They say that if you fear something so much then it will surely happen. Let loose and ignore your fear.

First of all.. u have to love yourself.. if you don't love yourself.. u don't have any confidence within yourself.. and all that stuff will be reflected on your physical as well as mentally.
When you have the courage to admit that when you look in the mirror and your liking what you see. It will be the greatest step ever!
Why is it related? Man love confidence.. they tend to be attracted to strong woman.. I mean not physically strong or build up.. but I mean mentally. When you love yourself, when your being confidence in your own skin, you don't have to try hard to think whether a man will like you or not. The principle will be, "im good...this is me..with all it takes...take it or leave it.."
And man will think "damn...she's one of a kind"...
Cool huh?
Learn from movies.. learn from real life experiences... find any woman that you think are confidence with themselves.. talk to them and see that even you could share the same thinking that a great woman is a woman who love themselves and full of confidence.. Hope that helps.. and smile always... u never know who will see your smile...

Always said good stuff to yourself.. it will build up your confidence... example.. saying "im great".. im good"..."I'm happy".."I love what I see within myself"... try this for a week... and see the results!

Glad to help!

ASk anytime, we r here 4 you!

Peace!

You can't live your life without being rejected, or worrying about being rejected. You will get rejected but so what? Practice makes it perfect and rejection isn't any different. Face the rejection and learn to cope with it better. At some point, you will meet someone good for you. Rejections are worth the wait...

Remember this: “YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE”. Say you applied for a job and they hire you.
You will do your best, right? After all, you can only do your best and no more. What if they let you go after a month or two? Say they tell you that you’re just not qualified for the job. Does this make you any less of a person? No! This just means this job wasn’t for you and you weren’t for that job. Who cares? You have to realize that you have value as a person. Fear of rejection? So what! You’re good enough for someone out there and that someone will appreciate you for who you are. “YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE.” No less, no more.

Someone once told me that in the game of golf, any forward movement is good. I have used this as one of my life philosophies. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Sounds like a lame cliché but it holds a lot of truth. You can only do what you can do. Each experience we have, we gain something. We may say that the next time “this” (whatever this is) will be different. Forward movement! We learn from our mistakes. That’s why we don’t touch a hot stove. We’ve learned either from experience or being taught that we will get burned.

Read the poem “DESIDERATA”. Talk about a “WOW”! I have given this poem to many, many people. You can Google “Desiderata” and read it online or any bookseller will have a copy. It’s short and well worth reading over and over. You’ll see when you read it.

Finally, one last thing from my soap box. Imagine all the employees who work for a city. You have the Mayor and City Manager all the way down to the one who cleans up the park. Is the one who cleans the park of any less value to the city than the Mayor or City Manager? I don’t think so. While the Mayor and City Manager hold a lot of decision making, the city needs that person too. Everyone is important and everyone has something to offer.

Thank u so much rfhewitt for this poem , I am going have to read it every morning