Hey people!

Well, I'm a 22 years old girl,I'm only child and I live with my parents, and I really really want to move out,because I don't like the place where I live,and I really want to more independency, I already have a great job and money enough to move,but my biggest problem is my Mom,she is extremelly protective and lives for me,does everything for me, so I'm really afraid of telling her that I want to move out, this would destroy her,she works at home,so she is always wanting to take care of me,like mostly of overprotective moms,I'm sure that she would accept my choice,but I'm also sure that this will be devastating for her,what should I do? I love her so much and I don't want to see her feeling terrible because of me :(
Im sure that this is her biggest nightmare,and she will suffer a lot.. but I really want to move out.. I don't know what to do

Regards

Its so nice that you think about your Moms feelings. It's a fact, that you will move out someday. She will have to deal with this "empty nest" sooner or later. You can just assure her that you will stop in frequently, and that she can phone you as often as she wishes. You could invite her to help decorate your new place.

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Originally Posted by rockie100

Its so nice that you think about your Moms feelings. Its a fact, that you will move out someday. She will have to deal with this "empty nest" sooner or later. You can just assure her that you will stop in frequently, and that she can phone you as often as she wishes. You could invite her to help decorate your new place.

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Yes I will try.. I'm just very afraid of her reaction.. I don't know what to do/say to minimize her suffering

You're going to have to move out eventually. You can't live with her forever. So nor matter what you say or do, she's still going to have to deal with it one day.

How far away are you planning on moving to? Assure her that you would call her and visit. Ensure her that you're not cutting her out of your life, you're moving forward with your life, but you're not forgetting about her or what she's done for you.

I don't mean to be blunt, but this is her problem. I agree it is nice for you to be sympathetic of her feelings, however there isn't much you can do to get around the problem. Either she will have to deal with it before you move out, or get over it when you do.

The only thing I can suggest for you is to let her know in advance of you moving. Have a set date, this way she has time to deal. It could be similarly compared to people you love dying. You'd react differently to finding out they have cancer and expect them to die within a few months or having them die in a car crash unexpectedly. Sorry for the bad metaphor, it is all I could think of.

As a mother, we all worry and stress over the day our child moves out. Your mother no doubt expects this transition and while it probably will be painful for her, I am sure she will bounce back.

It's a rite of passage and it won't change your bond and love.

Recommend this website if she needs support. ;)

Your mother needs to be realistic enough to realize that you're a grown woman now. Surely she must realize that you'd move out eventually. Regardless of how overprotective she may be I'm sure she wasn't counting on supporting you for the rest of her life. It may be rough on her at first, especially with you being an only child but I'm sure she'll come to grips with it eventually. After all, it's not like you're vanishing from her life forever. If you plan on moving locally then I'm sure you'll still see plenty of your parents.

Your mom had to move out of her mother's house didn't she?

She knows it's coming, she'll understand. Don't sweat it.