I am too jealous and I need to know how to stop.
So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years and engaged 1... I am a very jealous person and I know this... I try really hard not to be... It drives him crazy and causes him to yell at me... I will go in suspicious mode for no reason... and bring up his past with out notice.. today I had a reason... not to be suspicious but to be upset and bring up his past... him and I work together.. but on separate sides of a very large organization I only see him during lunch... Today one of his Ex Flings came and applied for a position at our place of work.. and I wouldn't have been quite as flustered except for the fact she applied for a job that she will be working with him... she will be around him well heck more than I am... this makes me uncomfortable... she's really pretty and tall and skinny and is into a lot of the things he is.. and I did not sabatoge her by making so she did not get the job because I could do that... the person who does the hiring respects my opinion A lot and I know about her past with drugs and what not... but I dident do it.. I just stayed quiet as if she was any other applicant... but she's not... and I know I'm crazy and I drive him nuts.. but anytime I try to just talk with him about it he gets mad and yells at me because he doesn't want to hear anymore about his past or how I don't trust him.. and I do trust him I know he would never cheat on me.. I don't trust her not to try... Ive been trying really hard not to be jealous and bring stuff up and make him mad and I've been doing really good lately... but now... I don't know how I'm going to handle this... I need to learn how to calm myself.. I don't yell or scream I just get really sad and feel I dono well gross inside and make up crazy stories in my head... I love him to death and I know he loves me more than anything and I don't want to loose him because I'm a crazy Bi*ch...
How do I stop being this way? Does anyone have any techniques they use to calm themselves or stop making up stories in their heads... im sorry this is so long feels good to vent... I've never written on one of these message board thingys before...
Also don't spit venom in comments I'm asking for help I already know I'm jealous you don't have to clarify that, I just don't know what to do..
Ty