Ok,um I'm 17 And my relationship with my mum has only just got better after me being kicked out for 5 months (according to her I ran away) I can't seem to do anything right by her. I've always had a lot of boyfriends but they were really girls, I just told her I was dating guys because I'm really scared about how to tell her. Things between us only just got better... please help

Hi, RoseMortem!

So, you're a lesbian. Are you living on your own now or with someone else, please?

Thanks!

I'm living with my mum that's the problem.. well one of them

Hi again, RoseMortem!

Would you please clarify with whom you're living, please? Are you saying that you have two mums?

I'm also sorry if I'm slow in responding. It's very late where I'm located, and I'm getting ready to go to bed.

Thanks!

No, only one and I'm lving with her at the moment... sorry if I'm sort of confusing you XD

You could perhaps bring up the subject of being gay in conversation and see how she reacts...
For example just mention a girl at your school being gay and ask her what she thinks about it.

That way it will give you a better idea of how to approach the subject of YOU being gay with her.
If she seems fine with this "other girl" being gay then you might find it easier to tell her.
If not then it's time to re-group and come up with a more tactful explanation.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by RoseMortem

no, only one and im lving with her at the moment...sorry if im sort of confusing you XD

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Okay, it was very late for me when I responded. I realize now, that what you meant, that living with her was one of the problems.

Thanks!

Both of my male cousins, first cousins once removed to be precise, came out to my grandmother because they trusted her and given her age, she's surprisingly progressive and liberal. Then, they both got the courage to tell their respective parents, but they both said coming out to my grandmother made a world of difference.

So anyway, if there's someone you're close to in your family, maybe he or she should be the first to know, it might break the ice, then you at least know you have a support system for when you tell your mom.

I can only imagine how hard this must be for you.

Sadly we don't know your mom, or how she'll react. I'd like to say that she'll love you no matter what, but that's sometimes not true.

I understand that you don't want things to go downhill again, but I think it would lift a big weight off your shoulders if you told her. You obviously want to, otherwise you wouldn't have started the thread.

We're here for support if and when you need it.

Good luck. :)

It may not go over like a ton of lead balloons. It will likely be a shock, yes, but she may suspect something anyway, and is waiting for a confirmation without asking you outright.

Not an easy thing for a parent to deal with, and difficult for you to tell her. You might consider the guidance department of your school, or a local support group for other young gay people if there is one, for information. Do a little research on line, and consider talking to a counsellor who can offer some advice.

May be a good idea to have another person with you when you do tell her. That will help to calm the waters, and you'll have the support you need, and so will she. It is not the end of the world.

I'm wondering too that all the difficulty you've had together over the past several months, hasn't had to do with this somehow. Maybe this will turn the corner; by being mature and honest about who you are. That will open up conversation and communication hopefully, and the road together won't be so difficult.

It won't get any easier with time, and likely will be more stressful for you, which you may be taking out on her.

My advice is to be as informed as you can, have somebody with you, and just tell her.