Girlfriend dumped me and confused
Hello I was recently dumped and my girlfriend and I were together for a year and 10 months. The relationship was great at times but also horrible at times. We've had fights in the past where we needed to give each other space and then we would just get back together. So thereforee we've had a rocky journey. We recently had a big argument that involved us being physical. And she said she forgave me for the fight but she really didn't. Mind you she blames me for the majority of the fight when I believe it was a 2 way street and she has equal amount of blame. Also people have been buddin into our relationship for quiet a while and it had affected us negatively. And recently she has been really busy and unable to take a few minutes for a phone call or even get to hang out with me. I expressed myself to her and she decided we needed a break. While the break started then she thought of that fight we had and she decided she wanted to work on herself and she reall couldn't if she was in a relationship. She wante to better herself an the relationship showed her things.
But it's been a week since we've been broken up and she calls me and I know I shouldve done the NC rule but I did talk to her via phone and text. And its generally her calling me or texting me. And yesterday she gave me hope that she still saw the future with me and this is the best for us. And she told me she does love me and that she wouldn't get into another relationship because she wanted to be alone and improving herself. And I told her I needed my space and then she texted me this morning telling me she wanted a hug and sigh I don't know what to do. I also told her I couldn't be her friend because the only way I could be part of her life would be as a boyfriend.
This hope it killing me and like she doesn't want to easily go back into the relationship like the past and I need to kind of working my healing and live my life but I'm confused as to what to do