I have joint custody with my ex but the children reside with me. We just finished mediation and he did not do too well. He asked the mediator (a former judge) how to get the children when they turn 12. He bascially told him how to be a dad. Now he is visiting when he is supposed to and he is calling them frequently. Which does not upset me, it is about time he took them on his weekend and he communicates with them. But does anyone know the statistics or reasons the "court" would give them to him when they turn 12? Is it that easy? I heard the children will have to have their own attorney as well to represent them. They are 9 and 11 both boys. I did not know if this is like "high risk" that I would loose them or does the children have a greater chance staying the mother? Are there specific things I need to worry about that would "make" me lose my children (I do not use drugs, smoke or have a drinking prob. Nor have I ever).

Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions?

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But does anyone know the statistics or reasons the "court" would give them to him when they turn 12? Is it that easy? I heard the children will have to have their own attorney as well to represent them

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If you are looking for stastics then this website can be of help... http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/
For your other questions

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I heard the children will have to have their own attorney as well to represent them

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... the court will give children a attorney... if one is needed... that attorney is usually from the Child Protective Services... your child has the right to determine whom they want to live with mommy or daddy... the courts will give attention to their answers... and yes... the moral fiber of the parent is considered in determining who will keep the child...

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? Are there specific things I need to worry about that would "make" me lose my children (I do not use drugs, smoke or have a drinking prob. Nor have I ever).

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The only thing you have to worry about is not being a good parent... keep the good work going with your boys and keep the lines open between daddy and sons... boys usually love mommy and feel they need to stay and protect mommy... but the needs in associating with daddy is a challenge... do not worry much on the topic... doing so will make you sick... just love your boys no matter what

By the way in searching for information about your question I ran across this sites...
http://www.peak.org/~jedwards/70cust.htm...
http://www.familykb.com/Uwe/Forum.as...little-contest
Hope this is of some help...