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-   -   My boyfriend ALWAYS breaks up with me. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=406790)

  • Oct 16, 2009, 07:22 PM
    bbydoll09
    My boyfriend ALWAYS breaks up with me.
    We have been dating for about 2 years now. All year, every time we have an argument & I get extremely angry about something, he just dumps me straight away. But then a day or two after he comes back to me. At first it didn't really affect me, but now its affecting me emotionally because I feel as though I can't express myself properly without the fear of him dumping me. He says he loves me very much and wants to marry me, but then why does he do this? He has become very controlling lately, and is not the same person I fell in love with. I don't know what to do. :(
  • Oct 16, 2009, 07:24 PM
    J_9
    Next time he dumps you don't take him back. Stop being his doormat.
  • Oct 16, 2009, 07:26 PM
    artlady

    You take him back and he is allowed to not deal with the issues.
    He has no reason to communicate with you.
    Work on communication,there is your problem.
  • Oct 16, 2009, 07:31 PM
    bbydoll09

    We barely see each other, maybe once or twice a month, that may also be a problem in our relationship.
  • Oct 16, 2009, 07:40 PM
    artlady
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bbydoll09 View Post
    We barely see each other, maybe once or twice a month, that may also be a problem in our relationship.

    Sweetie,are you happy?
    You have wasted two years.
    Get a guy who is really THERE or NO GUY.
    Be you and HONOR YOURSELF!
  • Oct 16, 2009, 07:44 PM
    bbydoll09

    When we first started dating I was very happy.. he was the sweetest guy but I just don't know what's happened to him. He is so over protective. Whenever he dumps me he says the most horrible things. He even says that no other guy would want me. I know that's not true, he's just trying to make me feel bad about myself.
  • Oct 16, 2009, 07:55 PM
    rockie100

    I know... This time dump him. Something tells me you haven't done this because he has the upper hand with you. Well take some of that power away from him. Stand up. You are letting him dictate how you feel about yourself, its keeping you down.
  • Oct 16, 2009, 08:02 PM
    bbydoll09

    I don't know how to stop him doing this. Because as much as I hate it, I don't want to lose him, but it has to stop. I don't know how to make him realise that what he is doing is causing our relationship to go downhill. He says that I am too controlling when in reality its him.
  • Oct 16, 2009, 08:24 PM
    artlady
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bbydoll09 View Post
    When we first started dating i was very happy.. he was the sweetest guy but i just dont know whats happened to him. He is so over protective. Whenever he dumps me he says the most horrible things. He even says that no other guy would want me. I know thats not true, hes just trying to make me feel bad about myself.

    Then let him go and know who you are ,You do know who you are.

    He is saying nasty things to you because he knows he can play you and make you believe his bull.
    HONOR YOURSELF!
    Do not ever let anyone tell you who you are,you KNOW who you are.
    He says nasty things because he feels bad about who HE IS ,he's a bully!
  • Oct 16, 2009, 08:29 PM
    bbydoll09

    Deep down he is such a softie, I don't understand why he has to act all tough. He wasn't like this when we first started dating, he even admitted himself that he's 'changed' but he doesn't try to make things better. He puts in no effort what so ever. Atm, we are on a 'break.' But he always ends up calling, even though he's the one that wanted the break in the first place.
  • Oct 16, 2009, 08:31 PM
    niceguy5

    Your boyfriend is basically using you for sexy time and its only on his watch so realize that and get the point across to him that he needs to get his stuff together or no more sexy time.
  • Oct 16, 2009, 08:35 PM
    niceguy5

    People change but u need to always remember there is a reason for everything.
  • Oct 16, 2009, 08:38 PM
    bbydoll09

    There's also this friend of his, who is a girl, and she always tries to break us up by brainwashing him by saying bad stuff about me. He tells me he dislikes her, yet he keeps talking to her? She refers to him as her 'brother' which I think is complete bull.
  • Oct 16, 2009, 08:46 PM
    rockie100

    Let her have him. That's what she wants. And if he dislikes her he wouldn't talk to her. And he would forsure not let her talk bad about you. Don't you see he should be on your side. This is a bunch of drama. Drama as in, if one of your girlfriends were dating a guy like this you would think she was nuts.
  • Oct 16, 2009, 08:56 PM
    bbydoll09

    I must be nuts for putting up with this, huh. He tells me that he's on my side, yet he doesn't stick up for me. We have arguments about her all the time, because I just can't seem to understand why he is so nice to her. The thing is I used to be friends with her, but she turned out to be a traitor, I shared my secrets with her, she went and told my boyfriend in an attempt t break us up. So now, he thinks I only hate her because she told him the truth. He doesn't realise the motive behind that was to turn him against me.
  • Oct 16, 2009, 09:04 PM
    rockie100

    Oh don't think he is that dumb. He knows her intentions. He isn't being brainwashed eather. I hope your seeing the big picture here.
  • Oct 16, 2009, 09:10 PM
    bbydoll09

    I want to talk it out with him, and I know what he's going to do, he's just going to resort to breaking up. So I'll wait till I see him in person to solve this. His mother has only met me once, and she already hates me. I am a nice girl and I would never disrespect somebody espescially elder than me. To make things worse, he's a mummy's boy.
  • Oct 16, 2009, 09:22 PM
    rockie100

    Could it be he has told her things that would make her hate you? Most people don't just hate another for no reason. Im glad that you have a respect for other people. Try to repect yourself now and deal with this with a little more reasoning involved.
  • Oct 16, 2009, 09:26 PM
    bbydoll09

    Yeah, that could also be a reason. Or maybe he's just making this all up to make me feel bad. Because she seemd to like me when I met her, he even told me she did, so how could she change her mind all of a sudden. I think he just wants me to try harder to impress her. But I'm not going to change myself just to impress somebody.
  • Oct 16, 2009, 09:30 PM
    j_ely823
    Wow, I thought I was the only one enduring such toture. My boyfriend is the same way except he won't break up. He'll say STOP and if I don't cease communication about whatever is going on at the moment, he hangs up on me and expects me to call him back and say sorry.. for what? Telling you how I feel?? I don't understand it. The advice that I will give you is leave the situation or show him what he is doing wrong... maybe by doing it to him... it may seem immature but sometimes you have to stoop to their level of thinking and behavior.

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