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-   -   Should I move on or wait for him to come back? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=406694)

  • Oct 16, 2009, 01:47 PM
    Marisol12
    Should I move on or wait for him to come back?
    Hello My birthday was 08/27 my sons father boyfriend at the time through a party for me with the whole family and it was really nice mMonday came and he was leaving for work he woke me up and told me he loved me. He never came back. We were together for 4 years we lived together in NY and then later he was arrested and had to go to a program I waited for him and stood by his side we had a son together who is now 16 months old I had 2 other children Before we started that I thought he loved as well. Well he got out of the program early this year and by then I had moved to NJ because ha still has an open case he had to stay in NY and was only allowed to come on the weekends. On weekends I would have a couple of drinks with my friends and he did not like it but never mae a big deal about it. Well after my birthday he tells me that he has lost a lot of love for me because of it. I stop drinking and haven't drank since I told him that if it bother him so much I choose him over that. Well then he started telling me that he was confused didn't know if he wanted to come back he came to pick up the baby and told me that he was talking to a girl phone conversation only and that he only had hung out with her twice and the furthest he went with her was a kiss in the cheek. Well this Tuesday that passed I called him and he was being really nasty with me on the phone and then hung up on me' when I get another call from him thinking it was him it was the girl he was with she told me that she had nothing to do with our break up and that he was playing games with both of us and that he has been living with her for the past 5 weeks. As you can imagine that broke my heart and as much as Im dying to call him I haven't its been 3 days since Tuesday and he has not even called to apologize well except that same Tuesday night he sent me a blank text for what reason I don't know. I know I have to let him be a father to my son but I can deal with dealing with him right now I don't know if he will ever come back and if he does after playing hard to get of course should I eventually forgive him He was suppose to live with me his family I'm the one that was there for him who stood by his side we had plans to get married he promised me that we would raised our child together and he betrayed me. What should I do never again answer his calls let him see his child move on please any advice would be greatly appreciated.
  • Oct 16, 2009, 01:58 PM
    redhed35

    I would suggest to keep contact only concerning your son,and move on from the relationship.

    It is obvious from your post that you are very hurt from his actions and lack of respect towards you,and it seems that he has already made the decision to end the relationship.

    What remains is if you want to wait for someone who has cheated and disrespected you,or move on and make a good life for you and your son.
  • Oct 16, 2009, 02:03 PM
    sully123

    Marisol as hard as it is, I think you need to concentrate on your children.They are your first concern.You can't change him, it is what it is. Honestly, he has nothing too offer you, sounds like he has some issues, unless he has made a complete turnaround. Does he support your son? If he has realized he made a mistake in his life, with whatever he did. But honestly, I think your wasting your time. You invested four years, sounds to me you need to move on. Find someone who is stable and can offer you a normal life, someone without problems.
  • Oct 16, 2009, 03:04 PM
    artlady

    Its always a kick in the teeth when you are with someone through the tough times and then when they are doing better as a direct result of your help,they toss you aside.

    I think you need to look at the way he is treating you and ask yourself why you would want him back.

    I know it is never easy to let feelings go but he has shown a total lack of respect for you.

    Keep the communication to a minimum and then only when it concerns the children.

    Yes,it is time to regain yourself respect and move on.
  • Oct 16, 2009, 05:20 PM
    talaniman

    Get the child support for your child together, and have nothing else to do with him, except through the courts.

    Then he can't lie, and use you any more. You can do better for yourself than him.

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