I've been going out with my boyfriend for over a year now until he went on holiday with his mates, we ended up having a argument over the phone while he was out on holiday, he got angry because I went to a party and stayed the night at a mates house who was a boy but nothing happened. He said some really horrible things to me over the phone and said he hated me and didn't want to go out with me anymore, 2 days later he slept with a girl out there then after he sent me the most horrible text you can imagine which really upset me then the day after he was asking for me back I asked him why he sent the horrible text to me and he said it wasn't him it was his mates playing a joke on me I found that quite odd. When he came back he came straight over to my house I had friends over that night which is when they told me that he did sleep with some girl, stupidly I didn't believe them, he denied it all and I believed him. I spoke to one of his mate and they admitted that he did send the text to me so I confronted him and he finally admitted it but I forgived him then I was hearing more and more stories about this girl who he slept with, I asked him so many times if it was true until 3 weeks later he admitted that he did so I broke up with him I started getting use to the single life but then he wrote me a note asking for me back and on a night out he was there, he got angry at me even though we weren't going out, he started getting quite aggressive to. He knew he did a mistake and he begged for me back so I took him back but I just don't trust him the same anymore and I can never forget what he did because I never thought he could be that kind of guy. We're together now but it's really annoying me now because he was the one that lost his trust and yet he goes through my phone all the time without me knowing and deletes other guys numbers who are my mates. Does this sound silly and am I doing the right thing staying with him? I do love him but I just think this whole situation is confusing! Any advice out there?

"he sent me the most horrible text you can imagine which really upset me"

People in love don't do this.

What did the text say?

When hateful things are said, they can't truly be taken back.

Are you willing to get past this, AND the other girl?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/no-chat-speak-no-text-talk-303157.html

U can do beter then that, remove yourself from the situation, if you accept the way he is treating you now, he will always treat you like this, he seems like the type of guy you need to drop quick smart - he has no respect for you and thinks he can just run all over you whenever he wants, but in his twisted mind he rationalizes his behaviour in his belief that he loves you and just wants you- but love involves trust- the whole situation is up too you in what next step you take, but he does seem like quite a nasty guy :( good luck

Man. Watta jerkoff. Babe, leave this idiot NOW before he truly crushes your spirit. Your friends tried to tell I sugest taking their advice n get the heck outa there OK? LIFES TOOOOO SHORT!!

He's a complete and utter tool. What is there to love here?

He sleeps with a girl for revenge, lies to you, verbally abuses you with revolting language, goes through your phone and deletes people he doesn't like and generally behaves like a total jerk.

Why would you put up with this? Taking him back just makes his behavior OK.

Take back yourself respect, tell him his face looks like a squashed squid and kick him to the kerb.

I agree with NZG1RL - life IS too short!

I'm sorry but the loser here is you , for taking this poor excuse for a human back.

Dump his sorry A$$ before he hurts you again , and he will.

I'm flabberghasted , what an absolute complete toss pot :rolleyes:


Edit: Had to spread the rep Gemini but your post was spot on.

Quote:

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I do love him but I just think this whole situation is confusing!

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Love is blind but it doesn't have to be stupid too.

If I said the following to you, what would you advise?

I love him but he cheated on me.

I love him but he told me off, called me bimbo, said he hated me, told me he hopes I get aids.

I love him but he lied to me over and over again.

I love him but he treats me worse then most people treat their enemies.

What would you tell me to do?

By the way, read it carefully, because this is you, not me. So, what should you do?

Do you really have to ask? Just dump is lousy a$$ already. Going back to him is the same thing as telling him that all of his previous behavior was acceptable, and that he can do it again.

He can "shag" whomever he likes, if that's his attitude, his potential for having a disease is WAY higher than yours, and his potential for getting a real relationship will be significantly lower than yours.

Just move on, ths isn't hard at all, if my guy ever talked to me like that, it would be the end of us as soon as the words came out, and there would be no forgiving or goinbg back. The End.

First, go get tested. Find out what else he brought back to the relationship. These days, it can be fatal.

Second, if the tests are positive, have him arrested.

Third, tell him to leave, never come round again, never even look at you again. Remind him of the name "Lorena Bobbit."

This all sounds cold. It isn't. Lying, cheating, and abusing are cold.

How old are you two?

I know this may be hard for you to imagine, but please try.

One day, if you have a daughter, would you want her to stay with some punka$$ kid like HIM?

You came here for advice, how many people said" give him a second chance", or " well, he was just hurt" or even, " my boyfriend does the same things, but he always says that he loves me, so work it out"?

NO. You want to know why?

Because guys like him usually get worse, not better. But next time it won't be an ugly text, it might be a punch, or kick.

This guy wants total control over you, and your life. You belong to him. Why does he delete your numbers? Because HE doesn't want you to be around other guys, you may see that NORMAL people don't act that way.

Would you keep a dog that keeps biting you?

Hey, this guy is so bad, even his "mates" don't respect him, why would they tell you about the text, and the girl?

My question to you is this, why do you think so little of yourself as to allow someone to treat you this way? If you take him back, never, ever, complain about what he does, or how he mistreats you.

After this time, YOU are accepting this bad behavior into your life.

Hey guys! Just wanted to let you all know that I finished it :)
I'm a free women and I feel amazing about it!
Turns out he went with more than one women and his mates totally look at him in a different way now after seeing his abusive reaction towards me.
So I just wanted to say thanks for all the great advice it really helped,I'm finally out of the relationship from hell. :)

You may not think so now or over the coming weeks if you have some downs , but that's great news for YOU. And if you do have down days just come on here and vent , we're all good listeners.

Glad you had the b*lls to dump his sorry A$$ , good for you :)

I love it when they listen.

Stay strong now. We are here if you need us!