Ask Me Help Desk - Taking A Break And She Blew It.

Taking A Break And She Blew It.

Hey everyone I'm a senior in high school and need adivice. Thank you

So here is my story. My girlfriend of 10 months and I needed a break for a while because I wasn't getting enough friend time in. so thanks giving weekend she goes out with her friends I go out with mine. Like w,e sounds all good but little did I know she got completely drunk and her friend wanted to hang out with these guys so she tagged along. Well these guys took them to an empty parking lot late at night. She and her friend made out with and gave blow jobs in there car and these are people I hang out with at school there not really friends but there friends through friends. Im very disgusted she says it was a huge mistake and is crying and leaving school everyday and I feel bad for that and I love her but I don't want her back because I get flashes of her doing this with this guy in his car, this isn't the first time we took a break though she also made out with a guy drunk on our last break. Like I'm so emotional stuck. I can give more detail if you ask but that sums it all up please I need help its killing me all she wants is a second chance to make things right but I can't get over this I keep picturing it. I need Advice and should I give her a second chance.

p.s:
Please don't treat me like a kid and say the plenty of fish in the see line.

If you can't get over it,perhaps your right in letting her go.

When you both decided on the break,was it assumed you would both be faithful to each other?

In most relationship where one person has cheated or in your case been with someone else on a break, its hard not be feel betrayed,hurt and angry, although now she is sorry, she did not learn from her last drunken night,and did it again!

Not only can you not get the image out of your mind, but how can you trust her again,fool me once, shame on you,fool me twice,shame on me...

We can't tell you what to do. It's your choice if you have to give her more chances. But here are a few questions that you need to ask yourself:

1) Do you think that she is making sufficient effort to regain your trust?

2) Do you think that with time, she will be able to regain your faith?

3) Do you see any progress in her behavior?

4) Do you think that she's genuinely sorry for her actions?

Before you worry about her, you need to figure out what you want first. If she can't give you what you want, then there's no more relationship to talk about.

Furthermore, you should know that if you put her on thin ice, it will put her a lot of pressure on her. Thin ice = you give her one and only one more chance before it's over for sure. It makes a very insecure and fragile relationship. So if you give her another chance, make sure she has enough opportunities to repair the damage. Otherwise, you're just setting each other up for disappointment.

I think your trust is gone and when that happens its very hard to re-establish.
And how many breaks can one relationship take?
Step back and do things for YOU , see your friends take care of school and hobbies .

Sounds like you're considering a 3rd chance, or no?

Did you two say you would stay 'single' during these breaks? If not... well than did she really do anything wrong? What's a break? It's a break up in essence. Her way of dealing with it is getting drunk and tonsil boxing.

Here in lies the situation… be honest with yourself, do you try and let it slide? Do you really feel you can get past this or are you going to be flying it like a flag every time you're angry? If you can't deal with it I suggest you move on.

I guess my really problem is that I feel disgusted, insulted, used and Im down right angry that she would do this she said she loves me and is trying very hard to convince me of it but like I don't understand how you love someone and do this when your drunk. When I'm drunk I can still tell the difference from right and wrong and do the right thing I don't understand why she did this to me not that she meant to but I don't know how to get past it if I can. I feel like I can't look at her the same the thought of her doing it hurts so bad I just want to Like die. I don't know how to fix my Problem

Give yourself more time to reflect on what happened. There's no reason to rush a decision. Take a few steps back and gain some perspective.

If she really wanted to make this work, she would be able to respect your time and space.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ms29

I guess my realy problem is that I feel disgusted, insulted, used and Im down right angry that she would do this she said she loves me and is trying very hard to convince me of it but like i dont understand how you love someone and do this when your drunk. when im drunk i can still tell the difference from right and wrong and do the right thing i dont understand why she did this to me not that she ment to but i dont know how to get past it if i can. I feel like I can't look at her the same the thought of her doing it hurts so bad I just want to Like die. I dont know how to fix my Problem

I am going to be blunt:

What country do you live in? What is the legal drinking age?
You're a senior in high school? Is she?

She needs to stop getting drunk and making stupid mistakes. As long as getting drunk is part of 'having fun', stupid things like this will occur.

If you don't trust her, you need to let her go. Which might be an idea anyway since you can't seem to find a way to balance time with your friends and her without taking a 'break' and it causing problems.

I hope you are taking this lesson to heart, 'Alcohol doesn't solve problems. It only causes bigger ones.'

When you are drunk it does not take away your morality.

Troll?

Or coincidence.

Check the boards.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhed35

troll?

or coincidence.

check the boards.

Huh? Am I missing something?

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhed35

troll?

or coincidence.

check the boards.

Pardon?

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhed35

troll?

or coincidence.

check the boards.

I'm voting alias abuse at best.

Edit to add: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...no-406316.html

Very interesting timing.

I don't understand?

I think, you should talk to her. Let it play out. You love her, and she is trying to show that she loves you too. See where it takes you. Let her show you.

You will never know what will happen if you don't try.

I think you should let her go. You don't trust her with good cause. If she gets drunk and makes out (plus other things) with boys she barely knows just because you're on a break and it happens twice, then you need to move on and go No Contact. I wouldn't give her a third chance with a third break to get drunk and have sex, before coming to my senses.

Let her continue to make her own mistakes without those mistakes impacting you. Work on getting yourself together and ready for the future. More than likely the relationship wouldn't last into college. High School romances rarely do, even the ones with no problems.

I assure you I don't have a dual alias and ls9 is not me same inccodent some I'm guessing you know who it is.
Extreamly well placed well timed coincidence.

So I am assuming you will be around her 24/7 to ensure she never gets drunk again...

I will break this line out against your wishes: There ARE plenty of fish in the sea who don't have sex with the first person they come in contact with while intoxicated. I can see her becoming the most popular girl to hang out with on Friday nights.

>Thread Closed<

Until the OP explains to me why they are both posting this issue, or simply playing games with us.