So I am a junior and this girl is a sophomore... we first met over the summer at a mutual friends bbq... we swam played volleyball got to know each other, I was very attracted, and according to the mutual friend so was she. But for the rest of the summer she went to europe with family and I went to asia with family and we didn't talk much... we came back to school this year and became close again (we talked for hours and hung out) one night after I felt like we got to know each other I asked her out... she said yes... after about 2 weeks of having what I believed a good relationship out of nowhere she said that we should take a break because there was a lot of pressure on her (her parents don't want her to have a boyfriend, her brother who is a senior at the same school is too over protective... ) and so I gave her space... but she kept txting me, calling me, and iming me, and I was really confused... I talked to her a few days ago and she says doesn't want a boyfriend now because she can't handle the commitment but she said once she is ready she will tell me... what do I do? Cause I know she doesn't want me hu with any other girls and I really like her... what should I do?

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Originally Posted by tingoo

i talked to her a few days ago and she says doesnt want a bf now because she can't handle the commitment but she said once she is ready she will tell me...what do i do?

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Give her the space she has asked for, back off, don't call her, wait for her to call you.. You need to give her some space for HER to work out what SHE wants..

By putting any pressure on her, you will only push her away. If you really want her, wait a while. But you get good advice in here, I certainly have.

If you are going to give her space, waiting means keep yourself busy, keep the door open, but not too far open. If you show her you can have a happy life with or without her, she will make her mind up faster... I'm sure others will give you some good advice too.

Yeah I know the give her space part... and I try but she is the one that calls and texts and im's me... thats the really confusing part

She sounds a bit confused, she wants you there but does not want a relationship.. She obviously likes you.

You need to make it clear how you feel and communicate with her, perhaps explain you are confused to her.

But I'm not sure if she is toying with you here, she knows what you want but can't make her mind up what she wants.

She sounds like she's keeping you around as a backup plan. I would keep ignoring her and if she asks about it tell her flat out, "I'm respecting your wishes to provide space. When your ready for somethng more then we can continue talking."

She has boundries as far as the family is concerned, and whether she likes you or not is not the point. The point is you should not be waiting for her to give you the okay signal. Live your life the way you were and enjoy dating and school and life without her. You can't put your life on hold for someone who may not ever come around.

Keep on hanging out with her and being friends just like you were doing. There's no need to rush into any kind of commitment or anything like that. She's young so it's only natural for her parents and brother to be protective of her. Also, don't rule out the possibility of seeing other girls, whether she likes it or not. She told you flat out she can't handle the commitment so it's not at all fair for her to expect you to keep yourself tied down to her exclusively when she's not able or willing to do the same.

Thnks for the advice... anymore would be appreciated... another problem...

Tonight I'm going to a friends party and she is going to be there... should I try to dance and hu with her or totally ignore her?

Be friendly and talk and dance, hey this IS a party. Make sure you dance and have fun with everyone. Be honest if you get a chance to talk to her face to face.