I'm a father of 2 I have a 8 year old with my ex girlfriend she is into drugs and alcohol and currently doesn't have a job she just got evicted from her house she rented she has 2 other kids with 2 other fathers she just moved in with her boyfriend she is very unfit from me and the grandmothers point of view doesn't want to work my son goes to the school by his grandmas house and he also lives there because mom doesn't see him at all.hes with me most of time he really just sleeps at grandmas house.is at my house like 3 or 4 days a week because I don't have a set shift for work.im paying child support to mom but lives wit b/f son lives wit grandma. The grandma wants to try to get full custody from daughter.I also want to get custody but the hours I work can't take him to school. When I get a shift I'm going to go try to get custody.can the grandma get custody can this happen without my consent I heard the dad had to approve that she gets custody but I don't approve he's my son what's going to happen wit that. And also is it easier getting custody from the mother or the grandma please let me know what will happen and what I should do

First make sure you can care for this child and meet his needs, work schdule notwithstanding. The ideal situation is for you to work with the grandparent to give his life stability and your visitation rights. An honest talk with them could be beneficial and if not... consult with a lawyer. Never forget KIDS come first. At least at the grandma's he'd be away from the drugs and such and she may be open to your being in his life as much as you can... if your as solid as you sound. Try talking with them and see if you can work together for the child sake. Hope this helps.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

First make sure you can care for this child and meet his needs, work schdule notwithstanding. The ideal situation is for you to work with the grandparent to give his life stability and your visitation rights. An honest talk with them could be beneficial and if not .........consult with a lawyer. Never forget KIDS come first. At least at the grandma's he'd be away from the drugs and such and she may be open to your being in his life as much as you can .....if your as solid as you sound. try talking with them and see if you can work together for the child sake. Hope this helps.

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I work different shifts but what I'm asking can the grandma get custody from daughter without my consent cause I heard I can say that I don't want her to have custody is that true I plan on getting custody next year when I get a shift

Consult with a lawyer, I don't know what state your in, but she can petition for custody and unless you are there to contest it, she may succeed. Its not a slam dunk that she gets custody, but Ill bet you should be there to make sure your rights are protected. It seems like the court would notify you of the hearing but I don't know so a lawyer is the way to go.

Thanks

Go to court and file a motion for custody. Gather as much evidence as you can about the mother's unfitness. Having a good lawyer will help as well. If the grandmother wants custody then she'll have to file her own motion. Beat her to the punch. As father, you'll definitely have an edge.

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Originally Posted by s_cianci

Go to court and file a motion for custody. Gather as much evidence as you can about the mother's unfitness. Having a good lawyer will help as well. If the grandmother wants custody then she'll have to file her own motion. Beat her to the punch. As father, you'll definitely have an edge.

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I would go beat them to custody butwhats stopping me right now is my work schedule I am on call which means I go in when they call me I don't have a set schedule for at least a year or so. I usually work 12 till 8 in the morning but my fiancée works at 7 in the morning and my son goes to school at 830 so no one would be home wit him for like 2 hours he is 8 years old that is what's stopping me right now from getting custody

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Originally Posted by matthew123

i would go beat them to custody butwhats stopping me right now is my work scedule i am on call which means i go in when they call me i dont have a set scedule for at least a year or so. i usually work 12 till 8 in the morning but my fiancee works at 7 in the morning and my son goes to school at 830 so no one would be home wit him for like 2 hours he is 8 years old that is whats stopping me right now from gettin custody

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All due respect, but if everyone put their jobs above the welfare of our kids where would we be? In my first post on this thread I suggested the adults involved, work together and since you have not given any reasons to the contrary could you explain why this is not an option. If they file for custody now and get it your chances of overturning that decision would be an uphill battle. If the courts awarded you custody now, you would have to adjust something for the sake of your own child. If they file now, don't you think that your inability to care for the needs of your child now, would be used against you. I urge you to do whatever it takes for your own child's now.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

All due respect, but if everyone put their jobs above the welfare of our kids where would we be? In my first post on this thread I suggested the adults involved, work together and since you have not given any reasons to the contrary could you explain why this is not an option. If they file for custody now and get it your chances of overturning that decision would be an uphill battle. If the courts awarded you custody now, you would have to adjust something for the sake of your own child. If they file now, don't you think that your inability to care for the needs of your child now, would be used against you. I urge you to do whatever it takes for your own childs now.

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I agree with you but on the other hand I am in the union its not a regular job where I can just switch shifts I can't do that every day I miss it goes against me I don't know if anyone knows about the union or not but I'm in it and I have to come in when they call me its not something where I can just change if I miss like 7 or 8 days I get fired believe me if I wasn't in the union I would change something in a min

Ok so what you are saying is that your carrer and job is more important than your kids??

Sorry if I sound so blunt, but when I lost my wife, I had to change jobs, because I was working nights and I could not be away from them at night, so I found ajob that was during school hours, yep it paid less but I did it to be there for the kids.

A job will be there till we are 80 if we want to work that long, children are children only a few years of their life, So when they ask you how come you did not take us, or how come you did not fight for us, you can say becaue I would rather have a job as a plumber or I would rather be in the union than work for less money not in the union.

Sorry please give that story to someone who may believe it, So as you sit watching TV alone at night without the sound of kids playing around the hosue, and you miss their birthdays, christmas, halloweenand the such, see which memory is best when you are old.

[QUOTE=Fr_Chuck]Ok so what you are saying is that your carrer and job is more important than your kids??

Sorry if I sound so blunt, but when I lost my wife, I had to change jobs, because I was working nights and I could not be away from them at night, so I found ajob that was during school hours, yep it paid less but I did it to be there for the kids.

A job will be there till we are 80 if we want to work that long, children are children only a few years of their life, So when they ask you how come you did not take us, or how come you did not fight for us, you can say becaue I would rather have a job as a plumber or I would rather be in the union than work for less money not in the union.

Sorry please give that story to someone who may believe it, So as you sit watching TV alone at night without the sound of kids playing around the hosue, and you miss their birthdays,

Christmas, halloweenand the such, see which memory is best when you are old.[/QUO







U don't understand I hope someone understands my position I havbe to havbe a job to get custody can't get custody without a job I don't know if you know what the union is but it's a great job great pay can't just quit and work at mcdonalds not that easy

I'm an old union man and know the feeling, Sit and think hard about what you would do if you had your child and was responsible for getting him to school in the mornings? Is there someone besides your fiancée to help? A family member to count on? While I feel for your predicament, I can not stress the importance of putting kids first. My wife agreed to stay home so I didn't have your problem. It hurt financially but in the long run well worth it. You still have not addressed working with the grand parents, either hers or yours. It just seems you'd want the unfit mother out of your child's life as much as they do. Don't you all get along or what. Just curious.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I'm an old union man and know the feeling, Sit and think hard about what you would do if you had your child and was responsible for getting him to school in the mornings? Is there someone besides your fiancee to help? A family member to count on? While I feel for your predicament, I can not stress the importance of putting kids first. My wife agreed to stay home so I didn't have your problem. It hurt financially but in the long run well worth it. You still have not addressed working with the grand parents, either hers or yours. It just seems you'd want the unfit mother out of your child's life as much as they do. Don't you all get along or what. Just curious.

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Yea me and the grandma get along we both take care of him he gets to school everyday that's not the problem she takes him I pick him up that's notb a problem he's well taking care of I just don't want her to get custody like I said I can't get custody till I get a shift cause it would look better on my part if I had a set schedule union isn't a regular job if you were in the union you know how it is its just a matter of time

And why does she want custody over you? It seems like you could have custody NOW with her help.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

And why does she want custody over you? It seems like you could have custody NOW with her help.

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She wants custody because he's staying there most of the time and she wants the child support from me she's money hungry

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Originally Posted by matthew123

she wants custody because hes stayin there most of the time and she wants the child support from me shes money hungry

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AH! WE GET TO THE HEART OF THE MATTER. In today's society single parents or parents period, pay someone to help them meet the child's needs so they can work, whether it is a childcare provider or family. Honestly the grandmother should be getting paid something by you now, for helping you out. Still curious though what does she think of you getting custody now with her help and you paying her? You will pay some one any way.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

AH! WE GET TO THE HEART OF THE MATTER. In today's society single parents or parents period, pay someone to help them meet the child's needs so they can work, whether it is a childcare provider or family. Honestly the grandmother should be getting paid something by you now, for helping you out. Still curious though what does she think of you getting custody now with her help and you paying her? You will pay some one any way.

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If she gets custody I would have to pay her $70 more a week but I am paying for everything for him now anyway I tell her I'm going to get custody soon she don't say anything but I heard she's going behind my back and trying to get it but its only a matter of time before I get a shift and when I do I'm going for it

Just to clarify, You pay your g/f child support and the grand mother gets money for her help?

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Just to clarify, You pay your g/f child support and the grand mother gets money for her help?

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Ex girlfriend and the grandma doesn't get anything unless she gets custody

I can't blame the grandmother at all because she does a lot of work and her daughter gets the child support. That would piss me off and you two need to work together, and make some changes that will be a lot fairer than letting the ex have the money and no responsibility. Why in the world would you send child support to her and not the grandmother is beyond me. If the support is court ordered then so is visitation and joint custody. You need to straighten this out asap. Sorry to be blunt and for asking so many questions but I know you want the best suggestions I can give and to be honest, I'm not understanding how the ex gets paid and grandma does the work. Doesn't sound money hungry to me, but doesn't sound fair either.