I was recently served with divorce papers from my estranged husband. I was a stay-at-home mother, and he abandoned us back in May to be with his married mistress. He is now seeking sole custody of my two year old son. My son is not biologically my husband's child. Due to the fact we were married at the time of my son's birth and residents of IL, my husband was automatically put on the birth certificate as his father. My husband knew there was a question as to whether the child was biologically his. He would not allow DNA testing while we were together. After I received the divorce pleading in the mail in which he is asking for sole custody, I immediately demanded DNA testing be done. My husband was found through DNA testing to NOT be the biological father of my son. He is still seeking sole custody. I am currently having trouble finding an attorney that will fight this case on my behalf. I am repeatedly being told that the child is too old at this point, and my husband will not have his parental rights taken from him now. I am an excellent mother and there is not one shred of evidence to the contrary. Is it possible for my husband to actually win sole custody? I have agreed to allow my husband visitation with my son for the time being. He either does not show up at all, comes way too late, or brings him back home much earlier than agreed. In between visits, my husband does not contact us in any way for long periods. He did not show up at all last weekend because he was with his mistress and her child. I also recently found out that the woman is staying the night while my child is there. I am extremely disturbed at this behavior. My son is stressed and acting out. He is already showing signs of separation anxiety and co-dependency at an abnormal level. Any helpful advice would be much appreciated.

In order to get sole custody your "ex" would have to PROVE you are, somehow, a danger to the child.

As far as visitation and upsetting the child, ask the Court to evaluate all of the parties (you included).

The Court will outline the "rules" for visitation - if he ignores them he can be held in contempt.

On another level I am concerned about your use of the word "mistress" when referring to your husband's girlfriend. Didn't you get pregnant by another man while married to him?

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

In order to get sole custody your "ex" would have to PROVE you are, somehow, a danger to the child.

As far as visitation and upsetting the child, ask the Court to evaluate all of the parties (you included).

The Court will outline the "rules" for visitation - if he ignores them he can be held in contempt.

On another level I am concerned about your use of the word "mistress" when referring to your husband's girlfriend. Didn't you get pregnant by another man while married to him?

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We were separated and living apart at the time I became pregnant. When my husband started seeing this woman, we were together in the same house. He was telling me we were fine, while he was sneeking around to see her. He even went as far as to get another cell phone to speak with her and text her. He even started a huge fight on Thanksgiving so he could leave and spend the holiday with her. She is also married. No divorce filed or legal separation. She still stays with her husband as well. I don't consider that a real girlfriend/relationship. She belongs to someone else, as did my husband.