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-   -   Am I a terrible person? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=405531)

  • Oct 13, 2009, 10:40 AM
    bluebot
    Am I a terrible person?
    I recently started seeing this girl. But before I start I should give some context to the situation. After a few really bad relationships, I sort of swore off the whole dating thing and enjoyed a bachelors life. Moving from girl to girl with no problem. But this one girl was persistent, wanted more from me than just sex, felt I was good for her and all sorts of other stuff. So I figured I would give it a shot. However, and this is where my title comes from, I got nervous, I felt I was being locked into a far too serious relationship far too fast. And That in a way, but not in such a literal way, she was some psycho clingy girlfriend. So in a moment of weakness I emailed another girl... with some very blunt sexual words... she emailed back and it got heated, but after an hour of short little emails, my brain kicked in and I realized I was being stupid and should stop. So I did, and forgot about it and went on happy with the relationship. My girlfriend later decided to read all my emails and found those that I had forgotten about. A break of privacy I know but still I got caught so I can't play all hurt.

    But am I a terrible person?

    I felt bad for it, really bad, because all I want is her, I love her, but now she just has it in her head that I want to every person I see. A "forgiven but not forgotten" situation. And after months of this, and trying to prove myself to her, I'm just getting tiered of it. And I don't know what to do. So for the first time ever I turn to the masses on the web, to ask what to do, and if I am a terrible person...
  • Oct 13, 2009, 11:17 AM
    kctiger

    I don't think you are a terrible person, maybe foolish and immature at times, but not terrible. You made a mistake and I assume you have apologized for it. Unfortunately in these situations the other partner has a really tough time rebuilding trust. While it wasn't fair for you to do that, it also isn't fair nor logical for your girlfriend to continue making you prove yourself or holding this event over your head. A relationship cannot thrive like that.
  • Oct 13, 2009, 11:19 AM
    redhed35

    Have you told her what you posted...

    Your past relationships,your feeling of being trapped,of feeling things were moving to fast..

    It was early in the relationship, and you were still getting to know each other...

    Who knew that she was right and you would fall in love with her.

    Sit her down and explain it all to her...

    If this had happened when the relationship was well established my advice would be totally different... but I don't think you're a terrible person, for feeling the way you did.

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