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-   -   Confused messages (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=405471)

  • Oct 13, 2009, 06:08 AM
    nextlover
    Confused messages
    My boyfriend and I of 5 years split a month ago, he still texting me, in a morning in the day etc asking how I am what I'm doing, he's the one that broke it off! I've asked him numerous of occasions to sort it but it shows no interest, saying he wants to build our relation back up frst... how the hell can it be built when refusing to see me?? I'm trying to ignore him. Lasts about an hour, I need to get a grip.
  • Oct 13, 2009, 06:13 AM
    amicon
    You need to get a grip and completely ignore all attempts at communication texts etc.
    He left you-now its time to be strong and not let him sneak back into your life.
  • Oct 13, 2009, 06:33 AM
    kctiger

    Change your number. He needs to understand that when a break up happens you don't get the luxury of communication with an ex. Seems truly unfair to you.
  • Oct 13, 2009, 06:35 AM
    I wish
    The two of you need to back away from each other so that you can recover from this break up. Talking to each other will only create false hope and add to the confusion.

    If he doesn't want to back off, then you're going to have to help him by blocking him out of your life. Change your number if you have to, but nor matter what, do not respond to his messages. If you respond, it will give him false hope.

    The clearest message that you can send him is by ignoring him.
  • Oct 13, 2009, 09:33 AM
    none12345

    Time for you to move on with your life. Stop playing his games. If he doesn't want to see you, there's no relationship.
  • Oct 15, 2009, 02:22 AM
    nextlover
    No contact rule it works!
    Basically I found that my b/f at the time was texting and messaging a 17 year old (hes 41) I found him talking to her on msn too. It was then Fireworks exploding at my house. Then I found lots of other texts from another woman on his phone, he sqys its an old friend he not been in contact with for 4 years. I said how she got your number? He says Facebook, then I found out he took me off Facebook. Anyway, this was 5 week ago, I was in an emotional mess for 4 weeks, suddenly I decided I was putting myself through a turmoil. I got myself a grip, he contionously texts me and I was replying, not no more... totally gave hime the cold shooulder and he's now using any reason whatso ever to text me, even random. U know I've not answered 1, and I feel so much better! You know, I don't know if we will get back together, I don't know if I want it at not, but that's my choice, but ask me 5 week ago and yes I would have been straight back. So my advice to anyone who experiencing a separation, the no contact rule. You will feel better, day 1 is the hardest. Just turn it around, they feel like they are been rejected and they can't stand it. No contact gives you breathing space, and u gain yourself respect back. So I'm thinking with a clear head... I might text him back in a week, tell him we need to speak, NOT TEXT. If he can't be bothered he not worth it, if he does I might have a complete different light on the situation. Good luck everyone xxx
  • Oct 15, 2009, 02:38 AM
    amicon
    Stick to the no contact and don't look back-he s 41 and he s texting a 17 year old?
    Move on and heal.
  • Oct 15, 2009, 02:43 AM
    artlady

    Good for you! I would rethink even contacting him at all ,in the future, as a man who is 41 and chatting up a teenager has issues that are not going to disappear in a matter of weeks.
    Turn that NC into a life choice for good.
    It can only be a step up!
  • Oct 15, 2009, 06:43 AM
    talaniman

    Imagine how much more clear headed you'll be in 6 months of NC.

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