Ok here goes. I have a beautiful girlfriend who is the same age as me. We are both 18. When we first met we were in so much love we could not spend a second kissing, hugging, and being with each other. My girlfriend and I had sex everyday a couple times a day and couldn't quit touching each other for a good 10 months. We were inseparable. We have been dating for about 2 years now and it's to a point that I never, ever thought would possibly happen. After about 10 months of being together it slowly started to stop. She didn't want to stay the night with me anymore (which she stayed with me for the first 10 months every night.) and the kissing stopped, the hugs, SEX stopped period, and it was like she didn't strive like I still did and do to this day to be next to me. Today, ever thing that we used to be does not exist. We are complete opposites. We hardly text unless I text her, we don't kiss unless I kiss her, we don't hug unless I hug her. It's so hard to believe that us two are like this. She doesn't flirt with other guys, or at least that I know of, she has always been honest to me about everything. I honestly don't think she's cheating on me. I really don't know what happened to us. Now were going to have a baby and she's 4 months into the pregnancy. I don't know what to do anymore, I mean were only 18 years old acting like were married and been together for 40 years. I just see us even separating more with a baby on the way, when it's supposed to bring us together. I'm afraid and I don't know what to do anymore. I really haven't talked to anyone including family about this because I don't want them to worry about us, or me and her splitting up. All I'm looking for is if this is normal when your with someone for a year nonstop that maybe I'm just old news to her? But for me she's the most beautiful and best thing that's ever happened to me, and am I an idiot for still wanting what we had in the beginning. If anyone has been threw this and can answer if this is just what grownups go threw after being with someone for a good while. Thanks.

Hi, Dr3wx360!

You've mentioned a lot of physical intimacy between the two of you. Relationships that are deep are built on a lot more thigs that physical intimacy.

What sort of things do the two of you have in common, outside of the physical intimacy that you've shared? What are her goals for her life as well as your goals for yours; also, both of your goals for the two of you as a couple, please? Those are just a couple of things that the two of you should be discussing.

Hopefully, others will also come along to address your post.

Thanks!

Maybe things have slowed down because she is pregnant? Her hormones is taking over.

Also I would suspect there might be someone else in her life but it is just my opinion.

Dr3WX360-Sorry to hear that you are in so much pain.Its sick,isn't it,when something eautiful falls apart and you just aren't able to figure things out.Feels like your back is against the wall.

You both are very young and from the looks of it,you had a very intense relationship in the beginning,with both of you just going with the flow.Maybe,all along you failed to step back,give some breathing space to each other,talk to each other more about your lives,how you both wanted to lead them,what you thought about the future etc etc.Talking/communication is such an intrinsic part of a relationship.Have you tried having a calm,composed face-to-face conversation with her about what you are feeling?Why don't you let her know you are worried about the situation and will do anything to work it out?

Having a baby at such a young age can also alter things greatly,especially if both of you didn't foresee it and this wasn't part of your plan.Am sure your girlfriend is also going through a lot of emotional turmoil due to all the changes in her mind and body.Try being extra sensitive,talk to her,develop a close emotional bond with her,don't push for too much sex right now.In short make her see you will be there as her support when she needs it.

Well if it's a 2yr relationship and the sex stopped after 10months and she's 4 months pregnant something is not adding up...

But in all seriousness starry's advice about communicating is spot on.

Have you tried to surprise her, put some magic back into the relationship? Woo her a bit, make it feel new again.

If none of that owrks then I think others on here may be right! There could be spmeone else on the scene

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Originally Posted by Clough

Hi, Dr3wx360!

You've mentioned a lot of physical intimacy between the two of you. Relationships that are deep are built on a lot more thigs that physical intimacy.

What sort of things do the two of you have in common, outside of the physical intimacy that you've shared? What are her goals for her life as well as your goals for yours; also, both of your goals for the two of you as a couple, please? Those are just a couple of things that the two of you should be discussing.

Hopefully, others will also come along to address your post.

Thanks!

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Yes I understand what your saying, and she does have goals to go to college and get into accounting. I don't know I just feel lost that's all, and I don't have anyone to really help me out in this situation. I just can't stop wanting what I once had. Thanks for your response.

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Originally Posted by Starry nights

Dr3WX360-Sorry to hear that you are in so much pain.Its sick,isnt it,when something eautiful falls apart and you just arent able to figure things out.Feels like your back is against the wall.

You both are very young and from the looks of it,you had a very intense relationship in the beginning,with both of you just going with the flow.Maybe,all along you failed to step back,give some breathing space to each other,talk to each other more about your lives,how you both wanted to lead them,what you thought about the future etc etc.Talking/communication is such an intrinsic part of a relationship.Have you tried having a calm,composed face-to-face conversation with her about what you are feeling?Why dont you let her know you are worried about the situation and will do anything to work it out?

Having a baby at such a young age can also alter things greatly,especially if both of you didnt foresee it and this wasnt part of your plan.Am sure your girlfriend is also going through a lot of emotional turmoil due to all the changes in her mind and body.Try being extra sensitive,talk to her,develop a close emotional bond with her,dont push for too much sex right now.In short make her see you will be there as her support when she needs it.

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Yes night It's very hard for me right now, and yes I do tell her how I feel but she doesn't seem to understand. I talk to her all the time trying to figure out what went wrong and the only answer I get from her is " I dont know" So I don't know if she doesn't know? I just don't have much to work with to make things right again. I don't know if things will be right again, and I really need them to be right now more then ever with a kid coming up.

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Originally Posted by Dr3wx360

Yes I understand what your saying, and she does have goals to go to college and get into accounting. I dont know I just feel lost thats all, and I dont have anyone to really help me out in this situation. I just can't stop wanting what I once had. Thnx for your response.

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She probably also wants what she once had--a future as wide open as the sky. When you met, she was most likely a carefree teenager. That's not who she is now. She is going to be a mother soon. Pregnancy is not a simple thing, especially when it's unplanned, blah, blah, blah. I'm sure you know the lecture.

All relationships have the "honeymoon" period, all roses and rainbows.

It's after that part settles and the hormones get back to normal when you see if you really have something more.

Communication is definitely key. Bonding and connecting outside the bedroom is what you need to focus on. The physical part of the relationship... is just a part.

Try to talk to her and get her to open up. Try, try and try again. Ask her how she feels and what you can do for her. Suggest taking a parenting class together and tell her how beautiful you think she is. Try not to dwell on the past feelings at the beginning of the relationship and deal with the NOW.

You two have a lot to talk about. I wish you the best.

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Originally Posted by Survivor07

She probably also wants what she once had--a future as wide open as the sky. When you met, she was most likely a carefree teenager. That's not who she is now. She is going to be a mother soon. Pregnancy is not a simple thing, especially when it's unplanned, blah, blah, blah. I'm sure you know the lecture.

All relationships have the "honeymoon" period, all roses and rainbows.

It's after that part settles and the hormones get back to normal when you see if you really have something more.

Communication is definitely key. Bonding and connecting outside the bedroom is what you need to focus on. The physical part of the relationship....is just a part.

Try to talk to her and get her to open up. Try, try and try again. Ask her how she feels and what you can do for her. Suggest taking a parenting class together and tell her how beautiful you think she is. Try not to dwell on the past feelings at the beginning of the relationship and deal with the NOW.

You two have a lot to talk about. I wish you the best.

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You know what your right. I think I do have to I guess quit dwelling on what I once had and just deal with it. I know deep down inside that the feeling of having what I once had will not go away, but I guess I'm going to have to just ignore it and try to live my life as a grown up and worry about how were going to take care of our baby. I want to thank you and everyone else for helping me. Again thanks!

Am I the only one that find strange the fact that the OP is GOING TO HAVE A KID AT 18? I mean what is your financial situation? Are you working, going trough college, studying?

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Originally Posted by paxe

Am I the only one that find strange the fact that the OP is GOING TO HAVE A KID AT 18? I mean what is your financial situation? Are you working, going trough college, studying?

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Unfortunately it is not strange at all. Teenagers having babies is very common. What's important, if they're going to keep the baby, is that they get along, whether they're in a romantic relationship or not.

I agree with your questions about finances and education, but I'm pretty sure the answers are obvious. They are going to struggle but hopefully have family support.

I'm sure someone addressed this already, but of course sometimes I'm just too lazy to read all the responses.

Relationships go through stages: sometimes things are good, sometimes things are bad, and sometimes things are just... well, normal.

All the sex and physical intimacy in the world don't make up for trust, communication, and love. It is my opinion that you and her took the relationship way too fast and built one based on physicalities alone.

It's a lot easier to have sex than to get to know each other, or to argue about things, or to have those dreaded relationship talks.

Plus, I've met a lot of pregnant women that just don't feel attractive when they're pregnant, and some are paranoid that after the baby is born and they won't have the same body they did... their husbands or boyfriends will split and find someone else.

I think you should take the pregnancy time to truly get to know her. It'll do wonders, I promise.

Good luck.

Having a baby is a life changing event for both of you. Being young and inexperienced is what's causing the confusion, but not talking to the adults in your life only adds to it. You both could benefit from their guidance and experience, so you can plan on the best way to deal with this event.

True it may never be the way it was, but you can work together to bring a happy, well taken care of child into the world. Its on you both to be responsible for your actions, as adults.

Its going to be rough, most new experiences are, but I can tell you, your needs have moved back and her needs and your child's, have to be put first.

Talk to your dad, uncle, or another trusted guy to get some good suggestions as to what to expect (pregnant females are a mother to deal with) and how to deal with this new event in your life.

Trust me, your child needs you now. Both of you.

Good Luck guy. You'll need it.

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Originally Posted by paxe

Am I the only one that find strange the fact that the OP is GOING TO HAVE A KID AT 18? I mean what is your financial situation? Are you working, going trough college, studying?

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Yes paxe I do have a hard situation with money. But I do work and I do have family backing me up. Family is the only thing I have that can help. I will also be going to college soon. So I hope that works out.