Stuck in a vicious cycle of bulimia
This is hard for me here, and has been in the past when I have gotten help before. But whatever I do I cannot seem to get away from this addiction. My problem is I've had an eating disorder for almost 3 years now. It started with anorexia and developed into bulimia/binge eating. I no longer have any problems with anorexia, since I can't seem to make myself stop eating. Some days I'm fine (on days I am terribly busy and can't stop to eat) but when I am home all I do is eat. My husband doesn't notice, and I can't see how he doesn't. He knows about the problem, I have confided in him on several occasions, and he has tried to help me before... now thinking that he has eliminated the problem and that I am fine. In his head, this should be a fix right away. There shouldn't be a reason why I shouldn't be able to stop cold turkey. But my issue is that we need food on a daily basis. So it's not like I can isolate myself from my addiction 100%.
I have been seeing a counselor. But she hasn't been helping me. What she is trying to do is find my inner child and figure out what it's trying to tell me. She tells me to continue on with the bulimia until my body tells me it no longer needs it. But this is harming me. I can't live my life any more. I don't know how to be around people without wanting to leave so I can eat and then make myself sick.
No matter what I do I find myself back in the cycle. I have gone to Over eaters Anonymous Classes, and all I do is feel ashamed. I have told very close friends about it, but they listen rather than give advice.
I need advice on what to do so I can stop. Little steps so I can start to control what I am doing. Because obviously I can't isolate myself from food completely. Can anyone tell me anything? I know this is a big one, but I am at my end. I have no other options. And as each day goes on, I no longer see a point to being here rather than eating and purging. And what kind of life is that.
Please help.