Working on a Débutante Script. What is the proper way to list grandparents?
Maternal, paternal. Then throw in deceased. Would a widow be listed as a Mrs. husband name or her own name?

As far as the Widow is concerned, If her last name is still her late husband's maybe just say the husbands, or find a way to notice her maiden name and her late husband's. Or you could just ask her if you feel comfortable.

The widow may be listed under her own name with a notation as the former Mrs. Husband, or she may be listed as Mrs. Her name Husband's last name. The deciding factor should be how she refers to herself.

An example would be a listing of: Dr. Mary Smith, formerly Mrs. Mark Smith-Jones

Or: Mrs. Mary Smith-Jones