Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   Self centered guy, did I hurt his ego? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=405098)

  • Oct 12, 2009, 06:41 AM
    iannajames
    Self centered guy, did I hurt his ego?
    So my ex keeps wanting to come back, and every time I allow him to we have sex that night then he just disappears the next day, so just got fed up and I sent him a text telling him that I do not have the same connection with him anymore (which is true) and that the sex we had was the same old sex no difference and that he is too self centered (which is true), that he only pretends to care about others but all he cares about is satisfying himself, I then then told him that I need excitement and some one who is not s self centered and that he is just not working for me, The question is I was wondering if that was to harsh and if I hurt his ego because I am not the type of person to say things like that
  • Oct 12, 2009, 06:43 AM
    redhed35

    No, I don't think you did the wrong thing,I think you picked up yourself respect and told him to take a hike..

    Good for you.

    It sounds like he was just using you to boost his ego and for easy sex.

    Good riddence to him.

    Well done you.
  • Oct 12, 2009, 06:56 AM
    s_cianci
    I wouldn't say it was too harsh. Sounds like he needs someone to tell it to him like it is and you did just that. Good for you. If you hurt his ego, then oh well, that's his problem, not yours. His ego is not something for you to be concerned about.
  • Oct 12, 2009, 07:07 AM
    I wish

    Friends with benefits with an ex just keeps the false hope alive.

    Cut all contact and leave each other alone so that you can recover from this break up.
  • Oct 12, 2009, 07:10 AM
    kctiger

    Not to sound like harsh towards you, but he got what he wanted, which was sex. You gave him that, he in turn felt no need to change or put forth any effort.

    I am not sure you see this, but if I can get sex with absolutely no effort on my part, better believe I will most likely take advantage of that. Take responsibility for your actions as well. Fool you once, shame on him, but twice falls on your shoulders.

    You got just as much out of this as he did. You KNEW you didn't feel the same about him yet you still had sex with him. What does that say about you?
  • Oct 12, 2009, 07:12 AM
    amicon

    Good on you-thats the way YOU felt-never mind his ego.
  • Oct 12, 2009, 09:23 AM
    iannajames
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by kctiger View Post
    Not to sound like harsh towards you, but he got what he wanted, which was sex. You gave him that, he in turn felt no need to change or put forth any effort.

    I am not sure you see this, but if I can get sex with absolutely no effort on my part, better believe I will most likely take advantage of that. Take responsibility for your actions as well. Fool you once, shame on him, but twice falls on your shoulders.

    You got just as much out of this as he did. You KNEW you didn't feel the same about him yet you still had sex with him. What does that say about you?


    From ianajames: sad to say it but you are right, it looks bad on my part I know and I am working on that I will never allow that to happen to me again, I have learned a valuable lesson, believe me, thanks for being honest

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    Good on you-thats the way YOU felt-never mind his ego.

    Thanks that is honestly how I felt

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by redhed35 View Post
    no, i dont think you did the wrong thing,i think you picked up your self respect and told him to take a hike..

    good for you.

    it sounds like he was just using you to boost his ego and for easy sex.

    good riddence to him.

    well done you.
    Thank you so much, that is how I honestly felt he never replied so I guess he got the message, he is immature and not worth my time, thank you for replying :)
  • Oct 12, 2009, 09:27 AM
    iannajames
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    Good on you-thats the way YOU felt-never mind his ego.
    Thank you!
  • Oct 12, 2009, 09:53 AM
    talaniman

    It was a heartfelt honest expression of how YOU felt. Why should you be concerned about how he feels about it, he got what he wanted from you didn't he?
  • Oct 12, 2009, 10:14 AM
    Cat1864
    Other than accepting that you "allowed" him to behave the way he did and that you probably said those things in a fit of anger and frustration, you probably gave him as much "closure" as any person can ever give another.

    Now, stop the cycle and don't "allow" him to come back again. Unpack the baggage, give yourself some time to heal and move on, then find someone who wants you as more than a "benefit".
  • Oct 13, 2009, 07:08 AM
    iannajames
    Said sex was OK?
    So after sex the guy asked me how it was and I told him that it was OK,( I was not lying it was nothing exciting) how do you think he felt after I said that?
  • Oct 13, 2009, 07:15 AM
    LJDK

    Depends on the tone of voice and exact words.
    If a girl tells me its OK I won't bother going back, would be too ashamed. But that's me.
  • Oct 13, 2009, 07:27 AM
    iannajames
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by LJDK View Post
    Depends on the tone of voice and exact words.
    If a girl tells me its OK i wont bother going back, would be too ashamed. But thats me.
    Thanks for your honest answer!
  • Oct 13, 2009, 07:32 AM
    jmjoseph
    I would look at it as a challenge, and show her that I could do better.
    We all have bad days, but by him asking, it shows that he thought he was actually pleasing you. I wouldn't expect too much more from this sexual "dynamo".

    Edit: I'm sorry, I answered this on another post. I don't know how it ended up on this thread. My answer to this post is good for you! Cut him off. But I do agree with KC about it being a two way street. Why keep letting him back? He sounds like a lazy lover anyway.
  • Oct 13, 2009, 07:39 AM
    iannajames
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jmjoseph View Post
    I would look at it as a challenge, and show her that I could do better.
    We all have bad days, but by him asking, it shows that he thought he was actually pleasing you. I wouldn't expect too much more from this sexual "dynamo".

    Thanks for your answer! But the thing is that I was the one doing all the work and I was pleasing him he only stayed on top for like a minute
  • Oct 13, 2009, 07:57 AM
    kctiger
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by iannajames View Post
    thanks for your answer! but the thing is that i was the one doing all the work and i was pleasing him he only stayed on top for like a minute
    I'm not sure this is the appropriate forum to be discussing this topic, but as far as sex goes some people either lack experience or just flat out don't know what to do. Sex, like a relationship, is an evolving thing that requires practice and communication.
  • Oct 13, 2009, 08:08 AM
    talaniman
    Ianna, your posting, and reposting is confusing, since you have broken up with a guy who was using you for sex.

    It doesn't matter about his ego, or if he was hurt, he doesn't care what you think as long as he was getting what he wants.

    • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:40 AM.