My boyfriend and I have been together for about 6 months now. Our relationship was great in the beginning (but aren't they all lol). But then his daughter's mother moved out of the state with the child and he turned into a completely different person, which is understandable but the things he did were uncalled for. He stayed out a couple nights without calling, one of the times he had my car and I only found him because I have a GPS tracker on my car. I later found out he was doing cocaine that whole night and the next day. Now recently he has been taking his daughter being gone out on me because the mom left because she didn't want to see him with me. I told him not to let his daughter go in the first place and now he takes it out on me, and for a while he wasn't sending money because he was going to get a lawyer. Now he feels bad and blames me for that, he says I should've told him to send money! And the last thing was last night when I asked him why he was always secluded in the bedroom when me and my son are out in the living room, and he ended up blurting out "I can't stand him half of the time, he acts like a spoiled brat." I was so shocked.. Yes my son has behavioral problems, he is 5 years old. His dad just recently left to the ARMY and he's going through a lot. I blame myself for much of it. Please if anyone has advice it would be greatly appreciated!

So, you are living together?

Sounds like you moved too fast. You didn't learn enough about this man before jumping into his bed. Your son should be your first priority.

Cocaine? You are actually asking if you should stay with this man? Get real and get out.

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Originally Posted by Mandyt89

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 6 months now. Our relationship was great in the beginning (but aren't they all lol). But then his daughter's mother moved out of the state with the child and he turned into a completely different person, which is understandable but the things he did were uncalled for. He stayed out a couple nights without calling, one of the times he had my car and i only found him because i have a GPS tracker on my car. I later found out he was doing cocaine that whole night and the next day. Now recently he has been taking his daughter being gone out on me because the mom left because she didn't want to see him with me. I told him not to let his daughter go in the first place and now he takes it out on me, and for a while he wasn't sending money because he was going to get a lawyer. Now he feels bad and blames me for that, he says i should've told him to send money!! And the last thing was last night when i asked him why he was always secluded in the bedroom when me and my son are out in the living room, and he ended up blurting out "I can't stand him half of the time, he acts like a spoiled brat." I was so shocked.. Yes my son has behavioral problems, he is 5 years old. His dad just recently left to the ARMY and he's going through a lot. I blame myself for much of it. Please if anyone has advice it would be greatly appreciated!

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Yes, I think the boyfriend is no good for you. Get rid of him. And as far as your son, don't make excuses for bad behavior, do something about it. I recommend this book, "Have A New Kid by Friday", by Dr. Kevin Leman. It will change your life, and teach your son discipline.

Sometimes we are blamed for things out of our control, and we hear it so much, we start to believe that it really IS our fault.

Why did the boyfriend and the daughter's mother split in the first place? THAT wasn't your fault too was it? No, it wasn't. This guy is feeling sorry for himself, and is using chemicals to cover the pain. That NEVER works, and usually ends up with a full blown addiction, including spending all available funds.

Get out while you can. Is this the atmoshere that you want to raise your son in?

I wish for you patience and strength.

Is my boyfriend no good for me?

Yes he is. He is terrible for you.

ADVICE- Get out while the getting is good.

Well, I'll tell you straight. It don't sound too good!

He has major baggage. He blames you for stuff that is his responsibility. He uses cocaine. He doesn't like your son.

And, it's only been 6 months.

Your life is too complicated and you have a responsibility to be supporting your son if he has behavioral problems. Too many things are happening in your relationship over which you have no control.

Take back control, simplify your life and focus on the important things.

He's got too much baggage. He's got serious issues. Leave him alone so that he can figure out his problems. He is definitely not in any position to have a relationship and you're not his mom, you don't have to figure out his problems for him.

Find someone else that you can be happy with. He's not the only man in this world.

Red flags everywhere.
First, COCAINE. Get your son away from that kind of influence. BAD!
::smacks forehead with palm::
Second, He blames everything on you, especially his daughter being gone.
Third, he does not care about your child. Do you really want to be with a man who does not accept your son for who he is, and at least try to help rather than shut him out?


You already know that he is no good for you, and I think you owe it to your son to get out of this relationship. Usually it starts as emotional, but then it turns physical. I would know, my mother lived with a man who did drugs, first he emotionally defeated her, then he started to hit her.

Don't let it get to that point. This man does not love you, and even if you love him, you should love yourself and your son more; this means LEAVE, and soon.