So I got out of a pretty long relationship back in April/May. I recently started dating again for the purpose of finding someone to be with, not just to date.

About a month ago I met this great guy, we'll call him R. He is a few years younger than me, a student, but the chemistry between us is insane. We have intelligent conversations, we have a lot in common and I can't stop thinking about him. He was the first person that actually got my mind off my ex. We've gone on a few dates, but never talked about where we are going, what we're looking for. We just hang out, have fun, do a little making out and its fantastic. He started dealing with a few things and didn't talk to me for 2 weeks and I thought it was just done. Turns out some really bad things happened that he had to deal with, and we started back again where we left off.

So Wednesday I met this guy, we'll call him J. He's nice, he kind of reminds me of Spencer Pratt as far as looks (and the beard) and we've only hung out twice. He keeps saying he wants to buy me things, he seems to be jealous that I hang out with other guys and he has basically already stated he wants to be with me and only me. I explained to him that I pretty much just met him (2 days) and that I need a friendship before a relationship. He says he's OK with that, but he keeps bringing it up. When he brought it up the first time, we hadn't even held hands or kissed yet. So I'm thinking that there are some red flags there.

So I'm confused about how to go about this situation. I've been honest, but I don't want to hurt anyone. Any advice is GREATLY appreciated.

Thanks,
Rockstar

I think you have the situation sussed..

You see the red flags and so do I.. the second guy is applying pressure,within a short space of time... drop him.

The first guy seems like he is dealing with his issues... see how it goes.

Dating is about having fun and getting to know someone before the relationship..

Don't play with peoples hearts,and don't let people play with yours.

Exactly. I got to know my ex a year before we started dating.

Yeah, I definitely feel pressured by the 2nd guy. And I think he has trust issues since his first 2 girlfriends both cheated on him.

There you go,you just needed a sounding wall.

Second guy gets kicked to the kerb,first guy sounds like fun.

First guy is fantastic.

Thanks!

R sounds like a better bet, as J is moving way to fast.

The good thing about being single, is there is no reason to be in a hurry, or commit to a stranger, which they both are.

Enjoy getting to know them (and anyone else you may think is fun and interesting.)

That's the way I see it too. I guess him trying to pressure me last night just freaked me out. Thanks Tal